


Spectral Frequencies

by Spectral_Aspen



Series: Sound Adventures [1]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007), Transformers Generation One, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Human, Arguing, Bickering, Boredom, Broken Arms, Children, Children of War, Christmas, Colours, Creative Punishments, Dialogue, Ew, Factions, Family, Fighting, Gen, Gore, Growing Up, Halloween, Hope, Humour, Idiots, Infiltration, K.O.!!!, Knitting, Minor Angst, Minor Swearing, Mocking, No Slash, No Smut, Pranks, Praxus, STIs, Self-Doubt, Siblings, Soundwave has a scarf now, Soundwave is a Good Creator, Spying, Swimming, Systematically Transmitted Infections, Teasing, Trees, Viruses, War, bad dream, boomboxes are outdated, bored, brig - Freeform, canada's worst driver, fake birthday party, friends - Freeform, gold is useless, hints of PTSD, homonyms, human surgery, humans are gross, is gross, it's avenged don't worry, making up terms, mentions of broken appendages, minor OCs - Freeform, minor theft, paint schemes, praxis - Freeform, retroness, shadowzone, sibling interactions, stereotypical teenage girls, swimming lessons, tags do not reflect order of chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-04 23:37:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 54
Words: 60,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spectral_Aspen/pseuds/Spectral_Aspen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One-shots and drabbles about Soundwave and company.<br/>Other characters will be featured too.<br/>Mostly ridiculous, with a bit of serious thrown in.<br/>The Graphic Description of Violence warning is applicable to chapters 9 and 11, but mostly chapter 12. Also, the end of chapter 39. Could maybe apply to chapter 48, but only if you squint and use a scope. Part 1/3 of chapter 54 mentions YouTube videos of human surgery and how gross/oozy they are.</p><p>I added "no smut" and "no slash" to the tags not because I have anything against them, but because I can't write it and most Transformers fics seems to have it somewhere so I figured I should get that out of the way so nobody will be disappointed or anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Officer's Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Do not own.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Officer's Meetings suck universally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™ed phrases are not actually ™ed. The ™ is merely being used for (what is supposed to be) comedic effect.
> 
> [name]: bond talk

Soundwave dredged up every last molecule of willpower he could and managed to refrain from sighing in exasperation at Megatron's antics. Three hours into the latest officer meeting and his ever glorious leader had yet to stray from the current topic: his new-and-supposedly-improved glorious Autobot Destroying Battle Plan™ that involved a brand new Weapon of Mass Destruction™ and apparently also involved lots of ill-planned steps, mainly consisting of various raids to gather the materials necessary to carry out such a plan. These raids would, more often than not, end with a quick skirmish involving the ever courageous Autobots defending the ever pathetic humans, the miraculous failure to get half of what was required despite having a few hours head start, and a humiliating retreat-that-is-actually-a-strategical-and-temporary-withdrawl/break.

Even Starscream is too bored to really complain, and is already sketching out the basic frame of the new W.M.D.™ in a file marked "The –Inator Series." Thundercracker is playing solitaire again, against the Autobot Mirage of all mechs, and Skywarp (who attends these meeting for no discernible reason) is drawing unicorns—unicorns that happen to look suspiciously like Dirge and Ramjet—frolicking among a forest of... tulips? and rainbows?... on a datapad he swindled from Swindle. All the other "officers" (i.e. gestalt and trine leaders that were appointed officers to reduce the lazy command staff's workload) managed to escape around the start of the second hour. They didn't even have to excuse themselves, Megatron was too busy pontificating to notice them leave.

[Frenzy]: Hey Boss-Man. Ready to offline from boredom yet? :

[Soundwave]: Frenzy. Reason for interruption? :

[Rumble]: You want us to make an interruption? :

[Soundwave]: Negative. Rescue not yet necessary. :

A poorly suppressed laugh filters down the link.

[Frenzy]: It'd be fun. You know you want us to. :

"—tobots will be scared scrapless at the sight of the Destructinator Mark 4™ and we wil—"

[Soundwave]: ...Frenzy. Knows how to avoid security cameras? :

[Frenzy]: Duh Boss-Man. Who'd you think you're talking to? :

[Soundwave]: Proceed, but cause no permanent damage. :

[Rumble]: Frag yeah! About time! Primus, I'm getting bored just trying to imagine what you have to listen to. You think the Autobots have this problem? :

-.-.-.-.-.-On the Ark-.-.-.-.-.-

[Sideswipe]: You dead yet bro? :

[Sunstreaker]: If I was, you would be too. Shut up. I'm trying to recharge with my optics online. :

[Sideswipe]: Awww, come on Sunny! How was I supposed to know Prowl'd make us sit through an entire officer's meeting? :

[Sunstreaker]: You're the idiot that's pulled so many pranks he's run out of orthodox punishments. :

[Sideswipe]: I say it was worth it. :

[Sunstreaker]: I say nothing is worth four hours of listening to Every. Single. Officer. Give ridiculously detailed reports on Every. Single. Thing. That has happened this past week. :

-.-.-.-.-.-Back on the Nemesis-.-.-.-.-.-

[Soundwave]: Negative, Frenzy. Autobots don't believe in torture. :

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing against Megatron. Promises.


	2. Ill Fitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave, and then some Soundwave and Frenzy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I have nothing against Megatron or the Decepticons.

From the moment S1-0N was sparked it was clear he was different. He never rushed things, or needlessly endangered himself like the other sparklings. Where other sparkling would briefly glance at a problem and chose the quickest, but often least plausible solution, S1-0N would ponder, and consider every potential course of action he could within the time limit before deciding on what he thought to be the best one. He considered not only his abilities, but those of everyone involved in the problem as well, be it other sparklings, caretakers, or simulated bots. Due to his quiet, observant nature he was seen as an outcast. The other sparklings made up rumours, and came up with ludicrous reasons as to why S1-0N was so strange. They tried everything they could think of to get him to react, but nothing ever worked. No one had ever heard him say a harsh word against anyone, regardless of what they did. S1-0N was patient, thoughtful, and compassionate. He was everything a warrior shouldn't be.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.t.i.m.e.-.-.g.o.e.s.-.-.b.y.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

As he looked out upon the still smoking ruins of Praxus, he had to wonder if he had made the right decision. Was anything worth assisting the being that not only condoned, but actively practiced and encouraged such horrific slaughter?

In the beginning Megatron had been charismatic and respected. Now he is degenerate, and feared. His ideals had been welcome and reasonable. Now there are no ideals, only an objective. Conquer. Anything that gets in the way gets obliterated. Praxus was the perfect example. Not only did the Praxians not join the Decepticon cause, they refused to fight at all. At the time, the Seekers, still reeling from the unexpected destruction of Vos by the Senate's order, were all too happy to rip apart the city that housed the Senator's Tower and their precious Enforcer's Headquarters. Countless civilians offlined. Deactivated. Gone to the Well. Joined with the Allspark.

A light tapping against his pede drew his attention.

"Sondwvvv!"

He looked down to see one of his youngest creations happily patting his pede, oblivious to the devastation around him.

"Correction, Frenzy. Soundwave is the correct pronunciation."

The patting stopped as the sparkling frowned in concentration.

"So-und-waaaave."

Smiling softly behind his battlemask, Soundwave looked down at the proud faceplate of one of his beloved creations and decided that as long as his sparklings were online and as safe as he could keep them, then he would do everything he could to ensure they remained that way. Even if it meant staying with the Decepticons.

"Response. Adequate."


	3. Behind the Scenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave and Megatron meet Shockwave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Transformers and all respective characters and places do not belong to me. I am merely playing with them.
> 
> Lots of dialogue.
> 
> Sorry if any information is wrong, I got it all off of TFWiki.
> 
> *name: thoughts*
> 
> [name]:Bond talk:
> 
> "normal, spoken Cybertronian"

*Random: What kind of idiot wears a visor and a battlemask? Oh, right. This is the fellow with those cassettes... Inferior being must be ashamed to show his faceplates in the presence of such superior mechs.*

*Random: What's one of the Senator's mechs doing here? And why does he have a bodyguard? I better go hide my highgrade...

*Megatron: Why the frag does everyone always stare at Soundwave?*

Upon hearing Megatron's thoughts Soundwave couldn't help but smile. His leader's thoughts were nothing if not entertaining. The passing mech's thoughts filtered through Soundwave's practiced processor without consequence. Neither of them were thinking anything worth his attention. As long as everyone stayed focused on his appearance and not his purpose he couldn't care less.

[Rumble]:Primus, Boss-Mech, you'd think you were some kind of freak. Why does everyone think it's so werid you wear a visor and a battle mask?:

[Frenzy]:Really, Rumble?:

[Rumble]:What?:

[Frenzy]:How often do you see mechs that could potentially have no face?:

[Rumble]:But he's got a face!:

[Frenzy]:They don't know that. They can't see it either.:

[Rumble]:So?:

[Frenzy]:So. It makes them nervous.:

[Rumble]:Why?:

[Ravage]]:Mute it, both of you!:

[Soundwave]:Frenzy. Rumble. Desist.:

[Rumble]:But-:

[Soundwave]:Desist.:

[Rumble]:Fine.:

[Soundwave]:Frenzy?:

[Frenzy]:Yeah, yeah. I'll mute it. For now.:

Stopping in front of a door that looked identical to every other one in the hall but for a the number 74539 etched onto it, Megatron punched in the long entry code and they stepped into the spacious, empty room.

"Why is it so slagging hard for everyone to be on time?" Megatron's voice jolted him out of his relaxed surveillance.

"Possibility: Got lost. Fact: Hard to find room." A poorly muffled snicker had Soundwave glancing over at Megatron.

"Never thought I'd hear you make a joke Soundwave." Megatron's voice was steady, but there was a definite undertone of amusement.

[Frenzy]:I have to agree with his lordship on this one, Boss-Mech. Never thought I'd hear the cycle you told a joke.:

"Correction. Soundwave does not make jokes. Previous Statement: merely an observation."

[Ravage]:There is no need to be cruel, Frenzy. This is a good sign, it means Soundwave is more sure of himself, and thus a stronger mech... Shouldn't you not be talking?:

[Frenzy]:Primus Ravage, no need to bite my fragging head off for making a comment.:

[Soundwave]:Frenzy. Please refrain from using such language.:

[Rumble]:Yeah, Frenzy, don't use such un-Primusly language.:

[Frenzy]:Shut your fraggin faceplate Rumble, nobody asked you for your opinion.:

[Rumble]:You glitch! If we weren't stuck in here I'd rip you a new exhaust port!:

[Frenzy]:Way to be original Rumble:

[Ravage]:Both of you stop it! You're giving me a processor ache.:

[Rumble]:Awww, are we bothering you Ravage?:

[Frenzy]:Feel free to shut us up, oh wait, you can't. We're stuck in Soundwave's chest compartment waiting for some Primus-forsaken senator to get his fragging aft to this stupid meeting so we can have someone, and I quote, "of great intelligence in a position of power." Like anybody would listen to the Senate if they had a choice.:

[Ravage]:In case you haven't forgotten, Frenzy, we work for Senator Ratbat.:

[Frenzy]:What's your point?:

Soundwave almost jolted in surprise when the door opened behind him. He hadn't heard anyone coming. Maybe it was because he had been too focused on trying to ignore his cassettes.

A single, yellow orb surveyed the drab room as the large purple mech made his way over to where Megatron and Soundwave were standing.

*Shockwave: * 

Soundwave's optics focused on the mech with suspicion and curiosity. Where other mech's thoughts would normally be assaulting his processor, from Shockwave there came only silence. 

It was unnerving.

"Apologies for keeping you waiting."

[Frenzy]:Sure you are, fragging Shadow Play reject.:

[Ravage]:Mute your vocalizer Frenzy! That was needlessly cruel!:

[Soundwave]:Desist. All of you.:

" I had to attend to an urgent personal matter that could not wait." The level, bland voice rang out in the blissfully silent room.

[Frenzy]:Really now?:

[Soundwave]:Frenzy.:

[Frenzy]:Yeesh, don't tell me he's not weird Boss-Mech, I know you're thinking it too.:

[Soundwave]:Statement. Semi-accurate. Shockwave. Thoughts cannot be heard. Ideas. Ravage?:

[Ravage]:Very well. As Frenzy so kindly mentioned, he's a victim of Shadow Play. He was originally a very kind mech. He created the Jhiaxian Academy of Advanced Technology. Rumour has it he hid some Outliers there and trained them. The other Senators, mainly Proteus, hated him because he openly rejected their functionalism ideals. Not too long ago Shockwave was captured and taken to the Institute where he was subjected to extensive Shadow Play. His emotion centers were physically removed via mnemosurgery. The most probable reason as to why you cannot hear his thoughts is that he has no emotions to broadcast, thus not energy output that you can hear.:

[Soundwave]:Thank you. Ravage. Information. Useful.:

[Frenzy]:Suck up.:

[Soundwave]:Frenzy. I heard that.:

[Frenzy]:Slag.:

Shockwave and Megatron discussed funding for Shockwave's experiments concerning energon alternatives and the possibility of creating a combiner for the Decepticons. Judging from Megatron's thoughts, mainly centered around acquiring resources and the benefits Shockwave's experiments would give should they be successful, he was pleased with what Shockwave could offer the Decepticon cause.

[Frenzy]:I wonder if Megsy is happy about how long Shockwave's experiments are supposed to take.:

[Rumble]:Megsy?:

[Frenzy]:Yeah, Rumble. Megsy. Megatron is a long name.:

[Rumble]:But Megsy?:

[Ravage]:You're both incorrigible.:

[Soundwave]:Fact. Agree with Ravage.: 

[Frenzy]:Why're you taking his side?:

[Soundwave]:Correction. Am not taking sides. Coincidence. Ravage's and my opinions align.:

[Frenzy]:Sure it's a coincidence.:

[Rumble]:You made the cat's beating you bro?:

[Frenzy]:Mute it Rummy.:

[Rumble]:Rummy?!:

[Frenzy]:You heard me.:

[Rumble]:You glitch! I'm gonna-:

[Soundwave]:DESIST.:

[Frenzy]:You're gonna desist?:

[Rumble]:Frenzy, you're an idiot.:

[Frenzy]:What? I'm just saying that sounded kinda weird.:

[Rumble]:Your aft is kinda weird.:

[Frenzy]:Why were you staring at my aft?:

[Rumble]:Cause it's ugliness was so...:

[Frenzy]:So what?:

[Rumble]:Hang on a minute. I gotta think up a proper word for it.:

[Ravage]:Seriously?:

[Frenzy]:Mute it, Whiskers.:

[Ravage]:What's with all the nicknames?:

[Rumble]:I have no idea, ask Frenzy, now mute it, I'm thinking.:

[Frenzy]:Careful, I've hear that's a dangerous pastime.: 

[Rumble]:FRENZY!:

[Frenzy]:Yes dear?:

[Rumble]:I came up with a word to describe your aft.:

[Frenzy]:Really now.:

[Rumble]:Yeah. Your aft is grotesque.:

[Frenzy]:...:

[Rumble]:What?:

[Frenzy]:Grotesque?:

[Rumble]:Yeah. Great word right?:

[Frenzy]:What are you? A fragging Towers Mech? Where in the pit'd you hear a word like grotesque?:

[Rumble]:Dunno. Would you rather I say your aft is depressing?:

[Frenzy]:How the frag is my aft depressing?:

[Ravage]:You've both gotten rather off topic.:

[Rumble]:What was the topic?:

[Ravage]:Who was the best at the quiet game.:

[Frenzy]:Was not.:

[Ravage]:Are you saying, Frenzy, that you are not the best at the quiet game?:

[Frenzy]:I didn't say that!:

[Ravage]:Prove it. You against Rumble.:

[Rumble]:I'm gonna whoop you aft Frenzy.:

[Frenzy]:Not a chance Rummy.:

[Ravage]:Mute it. Game's on... now!:

"So it's agreed then?"

"Yes. I will work on creating an energy source to replace energon in order to solve the energy crisis, and in return will work on creating a combiner team for your Decepticon cause. You will also provide the necessary resources to fund both projects."

"Our cause, Shockwave. Our cause."

Soundwave didn't like this. How was he to predict any treacherous acts if he could not hear the others thoughts?

...How was he supposed to know what was even going on when he hadn't heard more than one in every three word because of Rumble and Frenzy's bickering?

Frag.

[Ravage]:Soundwave, do you suppose we will have to work with Shockwave?:

[Soundwave]:Prediction. Will most likely. Shockwave. Is a still a Senator. We. Are currently still in Senator Ratbat's employ. Chances of meeting. Very high.:

[Frenzy]:I'm totally gonna call him Cyclops next time I see him.:

[Rumble]:You lose Frenzy.:

[Frenzy]:PRIMUS FRAGGIN DAMMIT!: 

[Soundwave]:Frenzy. If I hear any more of that kind of language I will deactivate your vocalizer.:

[Frenzy]:Wow Boss-Man. I think that's the most I've heard you say in one sentence.:

[Ravage]:Again, Frenzy, you're incorrigible.:

[Soundwave]:Agreed. Frenzy. Prepare to become the best at the quiet game.:

[Frenzy]:Say what?:


	4. Seeing Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave and his cassettes "talk" to some Autobots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of dialogue.
> 
> [name]:bond talk:  
> "spoken Cybertronian"

"So, Soundwave. I think you know why you're here."

"Decepticons. Lost war. Reason for being here. Blatant."

[Frenzy]:You show those glitches Boss-Mech!:

[Rumble]:Mute it frag-head. He needs to concentrate.:

[Frenzy]:Are you saying my positive comments, which he's had to listen to for millions of vorns, mind you, still distract him?:

[Soundwave]:Frenzy. Quiet.:

[Frenzy]:I'll take that as a yes then...:

"Blatant eh? Then why don't you just cooperate so we can finish this quickly and you can see your mini-mechs sooner?"

[Frenzy]:Pshaw. I don't need to actually be there for you to feel my magnificent presence.:

[Rumble]:Do you ever shut up?:

[Frenzy]:Remember that one time?:

[Rumble]:You mean when Soundwave deactivated your vocalizer?:

[Frenzy]:...yeah.:

[Rumble]:Doesn't count.:

[Frenzy]:But-:

[Soundwave]:ENOUGH!:

[Frenzy]:...:

[Frenzy]:How do you even shout over a bond?:

[Rumble]:Really?:

[Soundwave]:Frenzy. Rumble. DESIST.:

[Rumble & Frenzy]:Fine:

"Soundwave. Was unaware of the fact questions had been already asked."

"They haven't yet, I just wanted to make things clear to you."

"Situation. Clear."

"Good. Now, why did you stay with the Decepticons? You surrendered rather quickly considering you were Megatron's Third."

[Frenzy]:What a frag-head.:

[Rumble]:He's not that bright is he?:

[Ravage]:I'm surprised to say I actually agree with you two on that.:

[Buzzsaw]:Same here.:

[Ratbat]:Why would he be bright in the first place?:

[Soundwave]:Creations. Desist comments.:

[Laserbeak]:I didn't say anything though!:

[Soundwave]:Laserbeak. Was not talking to you.:

[Laserbeak]:Oh...:

[Buzzsaw]:Way to go Beaky.:

[Laserbeak]:Mute it Buzzer.:

[Soundwave]:Inquiry. Why do I bother?:

[Frenzy]:I dunno Boss-Mech. I honestly don't know.:

"I'm waiting, Soundwave."

"Reasons. Few, but essential."

"Really now?"

"Affirmative."

"What were your reasons?"

"Reasons. Simple. Defection. Would have made cassettes and myself targets. Fact. In even of capture. Torture inevitable. Torture. Would be long. Drawn out for maximum effect. Effect. Not to gather information. Effect. Cause pain. Effect. Punish cassettes and/or myself for defecting. Fact. Autobots treat prisoners better. Fact. Prisoners are unharmed. Prisoners often complain of boredom."

"... You mean to say you didn't defect to the Autobots because you knew that if you were captured by Cons you'd be tortured."

"Negative. Word torture is insufficient."

"Insufficient. The word torture is insufficient to describe torture?"

[Frenzy]:How thick can you get?:

[Rumble]:I think his processor is too small.:

"Affirmative."

"Then what word would you use?"

[Frenzy]:Did you agree with us, or him?:

*mental sigh*

"Sufficient word. Does not exist."

[Frenzy]:Agony. Crutiation. Ceaseless torment.:

[Rumble]:Not really helping with the whole 'words are insufficient thing' Frenzy.:

[Frenzy]:I'm just trying to be helpful Rummy.:

"You expect us to believe that? Autobots get tortured too you know."

"Inquiry. How many come back alive sane enough to describe imprisonment?:"

"..."

"Point. Made. Reasons. Given. Inquiry. See Cassettes?"

"I don't think so."

[Frenzy]:He's mad bro.:

[Buzzsaw]:Hysterical, Frenzy. I'm deactivating from laughter. See this? This is me. Laughing. Hysterically.:

[Frenzy]:Mute it Buzzer.:

[Buzzsaw]:Make me.:

[Frenzy]:You wanna go?:

[Ratbat]:Yes please.:

[Buzzsaw]:We making you uncomfortable Batty?:

[Ratbat]:Yes. The guards too.:

[Frenzy]:He's just uncomfortable because the walls are so orange.:

"Inquiry. Why not?"

"You really think we're gonna believe that half-afted story you just told?"

"Belief. You would recognize the truth. Belief. Autobots frequently state 'freedom is the right of all sentient beings."

[Rumble]:If they deny it, we can always play back the hours of compiled recordings we have of them saying it...:

[Laserbeak]:You recorded them saying that?:

[Frenzy]:Every time.:

[Laserbeak]:Why?.:

[Rumble]:What else were we supposed to do during the Prime's stupidly repetitive speeches?:

"Yeah well, you've offlined and tortured plenty of Autobots. Why should we let you go anywhere other than a prison cell?"

"Fact. You have offlined Decepticons?"

"Obviously."

"Inquiry. Why should you be allowed to go anywhere other than a prison cell?"

"What do you mean?"

"Observation. Your argument is based on Autobot fear of Decepticons being vicious war-machines. Theory. Autobots are more competent than Decepticons. Fact. If Autobots weren't so competent, you wouldn't have won the war. Fact. Autobots are now war-machines like Decepticons. Fact. You have offlined just as many Decepticons as my comrades have Autobots. Fact. You are being a hypocrite."

[Frenzy]:Way to go Boss-Mech! Show that Autobrat who's boss!:

[Buzzsaw]:I wish I could see his expression right now.:

[Laserbeak]:Same here.:

[Rumble]:About time they heard the truth instead of that fragging propaganda.:

[Ravage]:Decepticon propaganda was just as bad.:

[Frenzy]:Yeah, but Autobots don't lie to each other cause it's a Con trait. We're expected to. Only idiots believed the propaganda.:

[Laserbeak]:It was kinda true in the beginning though.:

[Rumble]:Kind-of-not-really-sort-of true.:

"I will speak to my superior about this and come back to you."

"Inquiry. May see cassettes?"

"Sure. Whatever. I'll get someone to bring them up."

[Frenzy]:About slagging time. I was getting bored counting the panels in this cell.:

[Rumble]:Same.:

[Frenzy]:Too bad about these hallways though.:

[Rumble]:Yeah. The optic-watering orange is pretty obnoxious. I wonder who picked it?:

[Laserbeak]:I heard it was Prowl.:

[Rumble]:Why?:

[Laserbeak]:It's like, the opposite of purple.:

[Ratbat]:What's wrong with purple?:

[Laserbeak]:I don't know. He apparently hates purple.:

[Buzzsaw]:I wonder if that's why he joined the Bots.:

[Frenzy]:No way. That's a stupid reason!:

[Ravage]:You never know.:

[Frenzy]:Hey Boss-Mech, any thoughts?:

[Soundwave]:Yes.:

[Frenzy]:Haha very funny.:

[Soundwave]:Fact. I know.:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of Prowl hating purple is not mine... once I find that author I'll credit them, promises!


	5. Underwater Paradox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Completely crackalicious. Written for a contest where everyone had have totally off personalities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Spoken Cybertronian"
> 
> "SCREAMED CYBERTRONIAN"

"MEGATRON!"

Starscream winced at the audio-piercing shriek that echoed around the cheerful purple halls of the Nemesis.

He glanced over at the mech in question, and wasn't surprised to see him fidgeting nervously as he stood looking at the doors to the Command Room. Megatron was undoubtedly frantically searching his memory banks to see what it was he'd done to earn the ire of the Decepticon's most volatile femme this time.

Loud pedesteps could just be heard through the doors, along with a never-ending stream of curses from every planet in every language known to Cybertronian kind.

Starscream looked over at Thundercracker, and rolled his optics at the antics of his promiscuous Trine-Mate. Thundercracker was draped over the tactical computer Skywarp was working at, her lithe form and graceful wings neatly blocking almost the entire screen. As he watched Skywarp effortlessly shoved Thundercracker off the computer with a sigh before getting back to his planning.

Thundercracker sat on the floor looking affronted until she heard the echoing pedesteps and cursing that was steadily getting louder. Then she perked right up and scurried over to where Starscream stood. He wasn't close enough to Megatron to get caught in the coming explosion, but close enough as to look like he knew what he was doing. He didn't, of course, but appearances were everything among the Decepticon ranks, intelligence and actual strength were often more of an afterthought than anything else.

Starscream turned back to the now rattling doors as Thundercracker slid into place next to him. "So, you think she's gonna offline Megsy this time?" Starscream merely sighed at his Trine-Mate's cheeky question before the now ridiculously loud stomping and cursing cut off. Every one in the Command Room surreptitiously turned to better view the coming drama.

The Command Room doors ominously hissed open to reveal the most feared Decepticon of all time. Her fiery temper and superior skills were well known throughout the cosmos, and her ever-present companions were just as terrifying (when they could be dragged from the high-grade energon dispenser).

Megatron shuddered visibly, and the femme slowly smirked, her rarely seen faceplates morphing into something truly spark-chilling.

With a nervous cough to clear his voice-box, Megatron dared ask the question everyone was thinking.

"What brings you to the Command Room, Soundwave?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really fun to write.
> 
> Comment? Critiques?
> 
> Random Fact- obverse is apparently the opposite of reverse...
> 
> Flames will be used to fend off angry-femme-Soundwave.


	6. Post War Trials: Rumble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumble doesn't like where the end of war has him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evil plot bunny... it bit me during a (regretfully serious) meeting.
> 
> [name]: bond talk :
> 
> "Spoken Cybertronian"

Rumble hated his life. Some would say he was lucky, fortunate even, to be where he currently was. Online, living on a (relatively) peaceful Cybertron.

He would disagree. Vehemently.

He was Rumble, split-spark twin to Frenzy, cassette of Soundwave, and one of the few Decepticons considered skilled enough to be considered part of Megatron's Elite. He had completed countless missions and flawlessly infiltrated the Ark and other Autobot bases so many times it made his processor hurt to even think about it. He'd survived literally millions of vorns of almost constant fighting. He'd struggled through starvation, laughed in the face of torture (come one, Autobot torture? Who wouldn't laugh?) and cheated death. He'd disabled Optimus Prime oce for Primus' sake!

He didn't deserve this fate.

He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy.

Rumble silently cursed the Autobots and their supposed kindness. They were trying to, as those primitive Earthlings would say, kill him with kindness. He just knew it! Next time he saw any of the Autobot command staff he'd let them know exactly what he thought of their "kindness."

[Frenzy]: Rumble, get that evil looks off your faceplate! If Soundwave finds out you've been sulking *again* Primus only knows what he'll do. :

[Rumble]: It can't be any worse than this. Primus, Frenzy, I'm getting nostalgic thinking about the Great War! :

[Frenzy]: Seriously?

[Rumble]: Yeah. Frenzy... is it possible for Cybertronians to get depressed? :

[Frenzy]: I dunno. :

[Rumble]: I bet killing the femme would help. A lot. :

[Frenzy]: Come on Rummy! This one's cute, you have to admit. :

[Rumble]: If her occupation were different I might be inclined to agree. As it is? No. :

[Frenzy]: It's not *that* bad Rumble. :

[Rumble]: Not that bad? Frenzy, think of everything we've done, accomplished, and lived through. Ask youself, not if we deserve to be here, which we don't, but if we even *need* to be here. :

[Frenzy]: When you put it like that it sounds kind of stupid... :

[Rumble]: That's because it is! The Autobots have no business trying to "make up for the crimes of the war" by sending us here! Just because they *finally* realized how young we are doesn't mean they can- :

"Class dismissed you two! I look forward to seeing you next cycle."

: -send us to school. :

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for this "story," my head-canon is that these two are kind of young and missed a lot of schooling because of the war. They now have to go back to school because the Autobots feel bad and Megatron doesn't want to screw up the peace by arguing (neither does Soundwave).  
> 


	7. Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More short goodness. Written for a prompt, the word was vacation.  
> Poor Soundwave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Do not own! (obviously)

[Soundwave]: Negative. Soundwave. Does not need a vacation. :

[Frenzy]: Come on Boss! It'll be fun! :

[Soundwave]: Soundwave. Does not require 'fun.' :

[Frenzy]: *sigh* Fine. Let's make a deal, shall we? :

[Soundwave]: Soundwave. Not promising anything. :

[Frenzy]: Bah... okay. If you can tell me the last time you had a vacation, with no hesitation, then I'll stop bothering you. :

[Soundwave]: Pre-War. Visited Blaster for Steeljaw's creation day. :

[Frenzy]: That's not a vacation! That's a day trip! And he was a business partner back then! :

[Soundwave]: Semantics. :

[Frenzy]: The deal still sands. Last vacation? :

[Soundwave]: ... :

[Frenzy]: Ha! :

[Soundwave]: Soundwave. Never agree- :

[Rumble]: You're taking a vacation, Boss. :

[Soundwave]: Decepticon cause. Priority. :

[Rumble]: Nope. Frenzy asked Megatron this morning. He said because Starscream is, and I quote, 'off doing Primus-only-knows-what with his Trine,' that you can take a vacation. He strongly recommended it, and added that you work too hard and he's worried your processor has started smoking lately. :

[Soundwave]: Lord Megatron. Said no such thing. :

[Rumble]: You want the recording? :

[Soundwave]: ... Vacation. Entitles what? :

[Frenzy]: *dances* YES! :

[Rumble]: Guys, guess what time it is? :

[Ravage]: If you say Adventure Time I'll bite you. :

[Rumble]: VACATION TIME!:

[Ravage]: ... oh goody. :

[Soundwave]: Ravage. Sentiments shared. :


	8. Post War Trials: Frenzy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frenzy has a crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Transformers, though I did create the three femmes.
> 
> [name]: bond talk
> 
> "spoken Cybertronian"
> 
> name: comm talk

If Rumble would stop complaining about the unfairness of his existence, Frenzy might actually enjoy his own. Things weren't nearly as bad as Rumble was constantly making them out to be.

Everyone they cared about was online.

The war was over.

They didn't have to work.

Their teacher was a gorgeous femme.

Frenzy couldn't remember her designation, just her shortened designation, (humans call it a "nickname," which makes absolutely no sense. Why is a shortened name Nick's name? Anyways...) CT. When she first told him and Rumble that he'd immediately thought of the name Skywarp gave Thundercracker, TC, and wondered if the femme knew about that or not.

CT was light silver with black highlights. Not too flashy. She had little audial fins, and a silver visor. Her form was slender, and she had little black winglets (like that Autobot inventor's... Tirejack was it?), and clawed servos. He wondered why an Autobot would have clawed servos, but didn't think it would be wise to ask (they looked very sharp).

"Frenzy!" Her melodic shout jolted him out of his dazed staring.

"Yeah CT? What's up?" He leaned back in his seat with a smirk.

"The ceiling," came her deadpan response. "Now, I'd like to see you after class to discuss something with you." Her voice was carefully neutral, and Frenzy wondered if he'd finally managed to charm the lovely femme.

"Course CT, whatever yah say." Let the femme think she had power, he'd soon show her who the real boss was.

Her expression didn't change, but it felt like she was glowering at him. Why would she glower? Had his charm worn off somehow?

[Rumble]: You are so dead Frenzy. :

[Frenzy]: What makes you say that? She's smitten with me. :

CT briefly glanced at Rumble as he started choking, but didn't stop her lengthy monologue about spacebridge mechanics.

[Frenzy]: What the frag bro? :

The quite buzzer sounded before Rumble could answer, and he stumbled out of the class still choking, though now it sounded suspiciously more like laughter than anything else.

[Rumble]: I'll tell Soundwave to start preparing for your funeral. :

Frenzy merely shook his head, he'd show his ignorant twin. He was a femme's mech, they all loved him!

"Frenzy" CT began, after making sure the door was closed, "I would like to discuss your lack of attention during my classes. Even Rumble, who has made it very clear that he does not want to be here, pays more attention than you."

"Well, yah see, I always get so distracted by your beauty that I can't focus on anything else." He smirked a bit at her blank expression.

He had her now. She was so surprised a mech like him would go for her he'd thrown her for a loop.

Then she started laughing, and his smile faded.

"What? What'd I say?" He demanded as she doubled over, her cooling fans whirring loudly.

"You-" She choked out, "-you can't... pay attention... because... you're too busy... staring at me?"

She was starting to calm down a bit.

"Frenzy... let me make this clear. I... am your teacher. I am nothing... but your teacher, and will at most be a friend. Never... anything more."

He didn't get it.

Was she... rejecting him?

No.

She couldn't be! But the word friend echoed around his helm, taunting him.

"Why the frag not?" He almost cringed at how pathetic he sounded.

She gave him a funny smile, "Because I'm with someone else. It'd be a bit rude to go out with two bots at once, don't you think?"

"So... it's not me?" Did that mean that his mechliness was not at fault here? It was simply because there was already another bot in the picture that she wasn't falling helm over pedes for him, right?

He thought he saw the hint of a smirk, but it was too brief to be sure. "Of course, Frenzy, it has nothing to do with you at all," she said reassuringly.

"Okay. Good. For you, I mean. I'll just, yeah. Was the all you wanted to talk about?" Now maybe he could go prank someone and try to forget this whole endeavor. Or maybe he could convince Rumble to help him find out who CT's mech was, and get him out of the picture.

"Of course. Have a nice cycle, Frenzy." He missed her smile as he bolted for the door.

[Rumble]: So bro, you offline from embarrassment or what? :

As he raced out of the school building a scowl lit Frenzy's features.

[Frenzy]: Course not you dolt. She's with someone else, that's why she's not interested. :

[Rumble]: Course she is. :

[Frenzy]: That's what she said! :

[Rumble]: The humans have a word that I think is rather fitting for such a situation. :

[Frenzy]: Oh yeah? :

[Rumble]: Yeah bro. You've been cockblocked. :

-_-_-_-_-Sucky Transition-_-_-_-_-

Frequency: Hey CT, you done teaching those two runts yet? 

Impact: Now now Que, they're not that bad. Though... Frenzy did admit he wasn't paying attention because he was too busy staring at me.

Frequency: Typical mechling. What'd you say?

Impact: I told him I was already with someone.

Frequency: Oh. So you and Ja-

Impact: Of course not. We're friends. I just didn't want to break the poor thing's spark. He looked devastated when I started laughing.

Frequency: Of course he did. If one of the most gorgeous femmes on Cybertron started laughing at me when I admitted I liked her I'd be pretty devastated too.

Impact: Well, his brother seemed to be having a good laugh about it.

Frequency: Course he was. That's what siblings do! You wanna go drag Specs away from that blasted mech of hers and tell her about it?

Spectrum: Tell me what?

Frequency: Speaking of Unicron...

Spectrum: Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny. Tell me what? 

Frequency: CT just turned down Frenzy, one of the little terrors she has to teach. 

Spectrum: ...I believe the humans call it "cockblocked."

Frequency: What does a rooster barrier have to do with anything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, that ending is horrible.
> 
> If you don't understand why Frequency though a cockblock was equivalent to a rooster barrier... you're on your own. (JK I'll explain it)
> 
> So... yeah. Frenzy thinks he's a total femme's-mech, and the femmes don't seem to agree.
> 
> (btw CT is Impact, in the comm. conversation Frequency cays "Hey, CT..."  
> and 'Impact' answers. hope that clears things up XD)
> 
> Mechling- Mech youngling
> 
> Youngling- a Cybertronian teenager
> 
> I'm not going to clarify who CT's mech is, I'll just say his full name was (sort of) mentioned in this.


	9. Post War Trials: Ravage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ravage has her quiet time interrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [name]: bond talk :
> 
> "Spoken Cybertronian"

Ravage purred in satisfaction. She had managed to get the cycle off, and she was the only one at home.

No Frenzy and Rumble running amok and pulling pranks.

No Ratbat asking irritatingly innocent questions.

No Laserbeak and Buzzsaw sitting on a shelf somewhere creeping everyone out.

Not even Soundwave was home to bother her with some menial task.

It was quiet.

It was bliss.

It was setting her sensors on edge.

Ravage had not had such peace in millions of vorns, and it was making her tense.

There. Was. Nothing.

She had once heard a human tell another that she hated silence because it was deafening. At the time Ravage had dismissed such a comment as typical human nonsense, but now she understood.

The silence can close in one you, it can suffocate you. The silence is an oppressive being, subtly drowning you.

A quiet squeak echoed around the house as Ravage shifted uneasily, suddenly wishing that her family was here. She would never tell them this, but she loved them all dearly.

Until witnessing the humans interacting with their families, Ravage had never understood what it was she had with her creator and siblings. Most Cybertronians don't have families in the human sense. The caste system had meant that once a bot was created they were immediately sent to their designated job. There they would be mentored until they were deemed ready to work on their own, and after that they were, for all intents and purposes, alone. There were no "parents," no "siblings," nothing. Sure, most bots developed friends, but they rarely knew anyone that had been there at the time of their creation.

Ravage had always had Soundwave there. He was her creator, her advisor, her mentor. He was her foundation even more than she was his. During the war they had shared burdens in a way that the younger ones couldn't.

She had done the same for her younger siblings. They had always talked to her when they were too nervous to go to Soundwave, for fear of disappointing him or otherwise. She remembered all the times she had gotten them out of trouble with Soundwave none the wiser with a certain fondness and exasperation. If only she had a credit for every time she'd saved their crazy afts… but then, they'd done the same for her. All throughout the war they'd been there. Distracting Autobots so she could escape, helping her on missions, spying on their comrades for Soundwave, they'd been there.

As she thought of her family Ravage found herself relaxing, no longer quite so uneasy in the ominous silence.

There was a faint hiss as the front door slid open, and Ravage stealthily got up and glided to the entry hall, cautiously peering around the door in case of an intruder. Old habits die hard, and had it been any of her family not only would there have been considerably more noise, but she'd have sensed them through the bond.

A searing pain in her nose caused her to leap back, barely containing a yelp. She pressed herself flat to the floor, ready to pounce as soon as the intruder rounded the corner.

[Ravage]: Intruder at the house.:

A multitude of emotions filtered over the bond, concern being the most prominent.

[Soundwave]: Ravage. Fall back. ETA. One breem.

[Frenzy]: Is it a Bot? Or a Con? :

A blaster appeared around the corner and started firing at where Ravage would be were she not crouched down.

[Ratbat]: I though there weren't any more 'Bot or 'Cons? :

Suddenly there were no more shots, and a figure slowly started to edge around the corner.

[Laserbeak]: Frenzy meant, is there a faction that this intruder may have previously belonged to, and if so, then which one is it. :

[Frenzy]: My way was shorter. :

[Rumble]: But obviously not as clear, else Batty'd have understood. :

[Frenzy]: Mute it Rummy. :

As enough of the mech, for that much at least was clear, came into sight Ravage leapt at him.

[Ravage]: Mute it. I need to concentrate.

Snarling and clawing Ravage latched onto the mystery mech, forgoing ranged weapons in such closed quarters.

[Ratbat]: But Soundwave said to fall back. :

[Ravage]: It's just one mech, and I refuse to let him desecrate our home. :

The mech was frantically trying to get a grip on Ravage's writhing form as he stumbled around the small hallway, shouts of pain flowing across Ravage's audios like music.

[Ravage]: This mech broke in. For that, he will pay. :

[Frenzy]: Well, at least save me a piece. :

[Buzzsaw]: Aren't you and Rumble in school? :

[Rumble]: Not anymore! :

Everyone could feel Rumble's glee at having a legitimate reason to escape his personal Pit.

[Frenzy]: Slagger took off as soon as you said "intruder." :

The mech slammed Ravage into the walls of the hallway, trying desperately to escape her vicious assault, when a searing pain caused Ravage to lose her grip. She was flung to the floor with a crash, and she briefly saw another mech holding a rifle at the end of the hall by the entryway.

[Ravage]: There are two now. :

She could feel the energon pooling around her.

[Soundwave]: Ravage. ETA. Now. :

There was a scream and the mech with the rifle fell to the ground clawing at his helm, and Ravage hear an identical sound from the mech behind her. Soundwave came striding around the corner, not even pausing as he saw Ravage. He gently picked her up and, without jostling her too much, headed outside to their transport vehicle.

[Soundwave]: Status. Taking Ravage to medic. Frenzy. Rumble. Laserbeak. Buzzsaw. Ratbat. Operation. Interrogation. :

Enthusiasm and glee filtered down the link as Ravage's vision started fading.

[Frenzy]: You got it Boss-Mech! :

[Rumble]: Can't wait. :

[Laserbeak]: What is Ravage's status? :

[Soundwave]: Sta- :

Everything faded out.

-_-_-_- A While Later-_-_-_-

There were noises. Loud noises. They hurt her processor. Why couldn't she see anything? Her optics flickered on, and the first thing Ravage noticed was the ceiling. It wasn't her ceiling. It was orange. There were no sctatches, scorch marks, or splattered liquids on this ceiling. Where was she?

Then she remembered.

Stupid. She was stupid. Why had she thought she could take on a fully grown, unknown mech? Especially since she hadn't know if he had abckup? Sure she'd survived a war, but overconfidence gets you nowhere.

Stupid.

The noises slowly became voices, and the voices became words.

"I cannot allow so many of you to see her at once! This is a medical center not a daycare!" That voice was the loudest. The medic? Not the Autobot's CMO, but a different one. Perhaps on of the Neutrals that'd come in.

"Oh yeah wise mech? How 'bout I-" Ah, Frenzy. You always were quick to threaten others.

"What is going on here!?" That voice was familliar, but Ravage couldn't quite place it.

"M-medic R-ratchet! Wh-what a s-surprise!" A small smirk formed on Ravage's faceplates. Ah, _that_ medic, yes. She liked him.

"Yeah, yeah you weren't expecting me. What exactly is going on here?" She really liked him.

"These mechs all wish to see the patient-"

"Ravage." Just from hearing him Ravage could tell that Soundwave's patience was running quite dry.

"They can see her." Apparently Ratchet could tell too.

"But-"

"No. Buts. Let them in." He sounded like a scary fellow. Interesting quality in a medic.

The door to her room opened and her family filed in. Ratbat, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Rumble, Frenzy, and Soundwave.

Soundwave firmly shut the door on the medics in the hallway and quietly turned to Ravage. All her siblings gathered around (and on) her berth.

She looked around at them all, taking in their expressions and basking in the emotions coming through the bond.

[Soundwave]: Ravage. We are here. :

[Frenzy]: You silly cat. Don't do something so stupid again unless I'm there to see it, alright? :

Laserbeak shoved him off the berth.

Ravage smiled. With her family, she felt safe.


	10. Post War Trials: Buzzsaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buzzsaw makes some new friends in unexpected places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, Blaster is G1 cartoon Blaster... I looked as his TF Wiki page, and all his other personalities were really weird. So. He's a relaxed (but competent), fun-loving, hip, musical-y inclined, brightly coloured Autobot (I can't remember if he has an accent or not...). His cassettes are mentioned, but do not make an appearance. (so sorry if I totally botch him)
> 
> "Spoken Cybertronian"
> 
> name: comm talk
> 
> [name]: bond talk

He came online feeling like he was being crushed. His cooling fans were struggling to get enough air.

Onlining his optics, he saw why.

Ravage was sitting on him.

Her head was next to his, and she was crouched on his back.

"Good morning Buzzsaw," she purred.

What?

Did Ravage just… purr?

The optic he could see gleamed with perverse joy.

"You forgot, didn't you?" He could feel her amused excitement, and it made him nervous.

"Forgot what?" He managed to croak out, barely managing to get enough air to speak under Ravage's weight.

She snorted derisively before flowing off his back, allowing him to frantically cycle air in an attempt to cool off his overheating systems. He watched as she stretched, cables flexing under her armor, leisurely curling her tail over her back, and felt a twinge of envy at her flexibility.

He stretched his wings, and the feeling quickly fled.

Ravage slowly turned to him, tail twitching with glee, and he swear he saw her smirk, before she said, "Today is you first day of work, Buzzsaw. You get to work with Blaster until everyone gets used to the idea of peace. After that, you can work with whomever you chose, but just as Soundwave is stuck with Blaster's brats– sorry, precious cassettes –Blaster will be stuck with you and Laserbeak."

He stared blankly, racking his processor to see if he could recall this being mentioned before now. He briefly recalled being assigned a job, but hadn't really been paying attention because Rumble had just been told he was going to school and was bemoaning his fate rather loudly to anyone and everyone within audio shot.

"Frag it all..." he muttered, wondering what the Autobot communications expert would have him doing. If he was anything like Soundwave, he'd be all business.

"Oh, by the way..." could that cat possibly sound any smugger? "Your shift starts in about one breem, and you're supposed to meet Blaster at the Autobot Communication Center."

Buzzsaw looked up at Ravage in despair, "But that's all the way across Iacon!"

She smirked. Again. "Skywarp has to go there too. If you hurry, and ask nicely, then I bet he'd warp you there."

The Earth Decepticons all lived relatively close to each other, and the Elite Trine were basically their neighbors.

With a glare Buzzsaw quickly flew outside just in time to see Skywarp exit his house. Why he bothered leaving when he could warp, Buzzsaw didn't know, but was grateful nonetheless.

He flew over to hover in front of Skywarp, "What do you want Beaky?"

"I am Buzzsaw." He looked nothing like Laserbeak!

"Whatever, look, I'm gonna be late if you don't move, so move!"

"I am also, as you say, running late. Would you mind if I accompanied you to the Autobot Communications Center?"

Skywarp looked annoyed and skeptical, "One of Soundwave's brats is running late? I thought you guys were super organized spies or whatever?"

"We-"

"Nevermind. I'll take you. Here," he held out an arm for Buzzsaw to land on (much like Megatron was so fond of doing for Laserbeak, not that he'd ever admit it), "just don't purge on me, alright?"

"Alright. Wait why-"

"Good."

Then everything went black, and Buzzsaw felt like he was in a container Devestator had decided to use as a maraca, all his concerns fading as he did everything he could to keep hold of Skywarp's arm.

The sudden light and lack of shaking threw Buzzsaw off, and he almost toppled off Skywarp's arm. He managed to focus, and looked up to see Skywarp giving him an odd look. "Have you ever warped before?" he asked, sounding oddly curious.

"I don't think so." Why was this a concern?

"Well... you might feel random bouts of nausea and dizziness during the next few joors then. Just thought I should warn you. It's perfectly normal, by the way. Just let your boss know." Did Skywarp sound... concerned? For someone other than himself? Strange.

"Thank you. For the... ride... and for the warning. I will inform Blaster." Or not. Idly Buzzsaw wondered what Blaster would do if he suddenly purged on him before taking into account how mad Soundwave would be and discarding the idea.

"Yeah, well, I can't remember actually talking to you before so... yeah. Go. Shoo. I think we're both gonna be late." Skywarp didn't sound all that repentant.

"Thank you." Buzzsaw nodded to Skywarp before going to take off, suddenly remembering that he didn't know where he was supposed to meet Blaster, and settling sullenly back on Skywarp's arm.

He must have looked rather defeated, because Skywarp took pity on him, "Do you have any idea where you're supposed to go?"

If ever there was a time Buzzsaw had been embarrassed, it was now. "No. When I was told where and with whom I would be working I was doing my best to ignore Rumble, and wasn't paying attention."

Skywarp grinned as he started walking, "Well, if I remember correctly Rumble has to go to school now, don't he? I'd be complaining too if I had to go back to school after everything I've been through. As it is, I'm stuck with Prowl learning about rules and laws and slag like that."

Buzzsaw looked at Skywarp, incredulous, "You? Got stuck with Prowl? Well, I guess my job, whatever the details may be, isn't so bad then."

Skywarp merely laughed, "Au contraire, my fellow flightee, 'tis not so bad. I actually like it. I'm working with Sideswipe, and we spend our breaks figuring out how to prank bots in ways that don't fall under any of the rules. It's hysterically funny seeing Prowl's helm smoke whenever one of us asks him a weird question. Just think, during the war we could have taken him out in every battle by shouting illogical things at him."

...That was indeed a strange thing to consider.

"I almost feel sorry for him." Almost. Buzzsaw had a feeling it was Prowl who'd assigned him to work with Blaster, and he was still slightly resentful. He'd much rather work with Soundwave.

"Don't. We're helping him come up with so many new rules we may have to increase the database's memory space." Skywarp sounded immensely proud of this fact, and Buzzsaw couldn't hold it against him. The database was huge. To fill it up was actually a pretty impressive achievement.

"Here we are." Skywarp paused briefly and looked at a camera placed above the door. "Helloooooo! Anybot hoooome? I brought a friend! I heard he was supposed to be working here."

Buzzsaw and Skywarp both looked expectantly at the door, waiting for it to open.

Nothing happened.

They looked at each other briefly before simultaneously shrugging, "Oh well," Skywarp said, "guess you can come work with me today."

The door almost flew open.

"That's not very nice," Skywarp looked like he was pouting (considering the structure of a Cybertronian face this is an impressive feat).

Blaster appeared in the doorway, and Buzzsaw could feel Skywarp tense. "You were supposed to be here almost a whole breem ago! Not cool little mech. Not cool."

Buzzsaw and Skywarp merely looked at him, this was the mech they'd heard so much about? The mech that could go pede to pede with Soundwave? Buzzsaw could already tell that this mech was more of a slang using music guru than the Bot's TIC, and that mech's name translated to some kind of Earth music genre in English.

Blaster held his servos out wide, "What, you mechs never met me before?"

Again with the stares.

"No," Skywarp sounded like he was trying very hard to be nice, "we actually have not met you in a situation that didn't require us shooting at you, and vice versa."

Blaster smirked, and Skywarp tensed even more, "Well now, that's no good! My name's Blaster," he held out a servo, "who might you be?"

Skywarp hesitantly shook the offered servo, and Buzzsaw touched a wingtip to it. "I'm Skywarp, and the pigeon here is Buzzsaw."

"I thought I always looked more like a falcon," Buzzsaw muttered, shooting a withering glare at Skywarp (who stoutly refused to wither).

Acting as though he hadn't heard Buzzsaw, Blaster gestured to the room beyond the doorway, "Wanna come in? That is, if you're not worried about your boss given ya slag for being so late." This last part was directed at Skywarp who, apparently just realizing exactly how late he was, motioned fratically for Buzzsaw to get off his arm so he could warp away.

Buzzsaw glided over to Blaster's shoulder, ignoring the unimpressed look sent his way, and watched as Skywarp dissappeared with in a purple flash accompanied by a loud *crack*.

Great. Now he was alone with this Autobot. This... loud... brightly colored... Autobot. He looked like he would match the walls of the Ark quite nicely.

"So, little mech, now that you're finally here," Buzzsaw resolutely ignored the pointed look sent his way, "we can get down to business. I already sent Laserbeak off, so now I gotta brief you separately. We're just doing surveillance around the city to make sure that there all the debris has been cleared and that there ain't any bodies lying around for the poor civvies to find. I got Laserbeak covering the Northern sector, you can cover the Southern. Got it?"

Buzzsaw nodded, that sounded ridiculously easy and very, very dull. "Objective. Confirmed. Surveillance of Southern Iacon."

Blaster gave him an odd look, before walking across the room to an open window. "Off ya go then, little mech. Let me know if you see anything, and I do mean anything, strange."

"Affirmative." Again with the odd look from Blaster.

"Ya know, ya don't have to talk like that." So that was it. Buzzsaw hardly even noticed that his way of speaking mimicked Soundwave's when around those he didn't trust. His was the only one that did. Ravage and Laserbeak didn't talk much to anyone not in their little family, and Rumble and Frenzy's method of speaking could be considered an entirely different dialect, what with all the swearing they normally did. Buzzsaw had developed it to keep with the idea that Ravage, Laserbeak, and himself were all mere drones, and that the only reason Rumble and Frenzy were different was because they had been dropped during the creation process. It kept them safe from the Bots, Neutrals, and stupider Decepticons.

"Apologies. Speech method. Habit developed during war for safety reasons." It had the added benefit of having most mechs think that he was stupid, and it would often make any jobs he received that much easier.

"I get it little mech, but the fact is ya don't have to keep talking like that anymore. We're all on the same side now."

Buzzsaw shot Blaster a look. "Fact. There are still Autobots that see Decepticons as a threat. Otherwise. I wouldn't be stationed with you, or your cassettes with Soundwave. Speech method. Proven way of staying safe. Speech method. Will remain. Thanks. For trying to reach out. Fact. You were Soundwave's rival. Fact. Will be hard to trust you, despite truce. Fact. Will stay in contact." Buzzsaw took off through the window, glad to finally be flying again and away from Blaster.

Iacon was huge. Buzzsaw hadn't been online before the war, but even he could tell that it had once been an impressive city. There were lots of ruins in various states of repair, and the jagged edges of once soaring structures gave the impression of large, serrated teeth rising from the still smoking ground.

Eerie appearances aside, the job was peaceful and relaxing. He had started at the center line of Iacon, and was flying back and forth across the city in rows steadily heading south. There was hardly anything to report. A toppled building blocking a main road here, a gunmetal grey body in an alley there, and very little in between. Blaster always responded quickly, and politely to his comms, and sounded oddly thoughtful during the first few updates. Whether or not he was still thinking about what Buzzsaw had said to him was uncertain, but it sounded like he was.

To pass the time Buzzsaw would occasionally listen in on some of the conversations flowing over the comm lines, and while most of them were boring, there was one that caught his attention. It was between three femmes, one of which he recognized as Rumble and Frenzy's teacher from their (not-so-flattering and very-flattering) descriptions.

Frequency: Hey CT, you done teaching those two runts yet? 

Impact: Now now Que, they're not that bad. Though... Frenzy did admit he wasn't paying attention because he was too busy staring at me.

Oh Primus, had he really? Buzzsaw idly wondered what Soundwave would think of that.

Frequency: Typical mechling. What'd you say?

Do you expect her to have said yes?

Impact: I told him I was already with someone.  
Frequency: Oh. So you and Ja-

Impact: Of course not. We're friends. I just didn't want to break the poor thing's spark. He looked devastated when I started laughing.

Buzzsaw winced in sympathy for his elder sibling.

Frequency: Of course he did. If one of the most gorgeous femmes on Cybertron started laughing at me when I admitted I liked her I'd be pretty devastated too.

More like one of the only femmes on Cybertron.

Impact: Well, his brother seemed to be having a good laugh too.

It was probably the highlight of Rumble's entire cycle.

Frequency: Course he was. That's what sibling do! You wanna go drag Specs away from that blasted mech of hers and tell her about it?

Spectrum: Tell me what?

Frequency: Speaking of Unicron...

Spectrum: Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny. Tell me what?

Frequency: CT just turned down Frenzy, one of the little terrors she has to teach.

Spectrum: ...I believe the humans call it "cockblocked."

Frequency: What does a rooster barrier have to do with anything?

Buzzsaw burst out laughing, and quickly landed on the jagged edge of an abandoned building to stabilize himself. His choked laughter echoed quietly around the interior of the building, and it was a while before he managed to calm himself.

Rooster barrier.

He slowly calmed his systems. If she had not been to Earth, he could see no way she'd know the true meaning behind the phrase. Though... how the other two femmes knew was suspicious, and he contemplated comming Blaster to ask, but thought better of it.

He knew someone better.

Buzzsaw: Skywarp?

There was a brief pause.

Skywarp: What you want Beaky?

Buzzsaw: I'm Buzzsaw.

Skywarp: Whatever. What do you want.

Buzzsaw: Do you know of two femmes who go by Spectrum and Impact?

Skywarp: Yeah, why?

Buzzsaw: They know of Earth phrases, and it seemed odd. I did not wish to inform Blaster that I'd been listening in on their conversation, so I thought you would be able to help.

Skywarp: Well, I know that Spectrum is friends with Prowl. Exactly how close they are, I really don't want to know. Isn't Impact Frenzy and Rumble's instructor?

Buzzsaw: Yes.

Skywarp: I hear she's an Autobot explosives technician. Does that help?

Buzzsaw: Immensely. Thank you.

Skywarp: Your'e welcome. I gotta go though, Sideswipe and I are gonna paint Ironhide pink and show Chromia some image captures.

Buzzsaw: Testing the rules?

Skywarp: Testing the Autobots is more like it! See you later Buzzer.

Buzzsaw: Until we meet again, Skywarp.

Skywarp: Primus, you're so formal. Loosen up a bit Buzzer. BYE!

Buzzsaw flinched at the volume of Skywarp's farewell, before taking off again and continuing his surveillance.

[Laserbeak]: Have you finished yet?:

Buzzsaw frowned. Should he reply? Laserbeak had gone to work without him. He rolled his optics, and relented with a sigh.

[Buzzsaw]: No.:

There was an almost tangible silence.

[Laserbeak]: Would you like assistance?:

Buzzsaw briefly contemplated Laserbeak's offer, taking a moment to bask in the silence above Iacon.

[Buzzsaw]: No, thank you. Your assistance is not necessary.:

Buzzsaw could sense hesitation through the bond.

[Laserbeak]: Blaster wants me to help you.:

An irritated grumble rose in Buzzsaw's chassis. Damn that Autobot. There was just something about him that always managed to rub Buzzsaw the wrong way.

[Buzzsaw]: I am almost finished. Surely he can wait.:

More hesitation.

[Laserbeak]: He is quite adamant about my helping you.:

A loud crack echoed around the desolate buildings, and Buzzsaw paused, hovering, as he tried to locate the source and any possible threats.

Nothing.

[Buzzsaw]: How far are you from my location?:

A flash drew his attention to a precariously balanced building, and he watched as it slowly toppled over.

[Laserbeak]: I'm here.:

Buzzsaw looked up to see Laserbeak come to a stop next to him. Sneaky glitch. She'd have 'helped' whether he wanted it or not.

Might as well make the best of it.

[Buzzsaw]: Can you continue surveying my sector? I'm going to go see if there was anyone down there when the building collapsed.:

Laserbeak looked down at the building, dust billowing higher and higher.

[Laserbeak]: Confirmed. Don't hesitate to ask for help though.

[Buzzsaw]: Of course.

Buzzsaw dove and angled himself so that he came down in a spiral just wider than the perimeter of the collapsed building. His optics struggled to see through all the dust.

Where was the source of that flash?

Buzzsaw: Blaster. We may have a situation.

He decided he could forgo his rigid speech patterns for this, if just a bit.

Blaster: What's up little mech?

What a poor choice of words.

Buzzsaw: Nothing is "up" Blaster. A building has collapsed in area 197-A4. No casualties yet found. No survivors either. Not sure there was anyone in the area to begin with, but am heading in to confirm.

Blaster: I'm sending a team to your position. Careful, little mech. 

Buzzsaw: Of course.

As if he wouldn't be careful. He'd infiltrated bases for millions of vorns, he knew when and how to be careful.

Buzzsaw quietly landed on one of the taller pieces of rubble and surveyed the area. Gliding down he started flying back and forth over what was left of the building, hoping he would hear someone, but at the same time desperately hoping he wouldn't.

Blaster: The response team is almost there little mech, ETA one breem.

Buzzsaw: Affirmative. I've yet to find anything but rubble.

Blaster: Keep looking till the team gets there. Then you can come back. Laserbeak's finished surveying the Southern Sector.

Buzzsaw: Affirmative.

A quiet tapping caught his attention, and he flew over to check it out.

Following the sound, Buzzsaw wove his way around the large sheets of siding and mangled support structure of the building, almost crawling in some places. Finally, he reached the area where the tapping was loudest, and found nothing.

There was nothing he could see that would be able to make any kind of noise. He had to be missing something.

"Is... anybot there?" His vocalizer spat static, the dust from the building having partially clogged his voice box, and he coughed in an effort to clear it.

"Here." Buzzsaw barely heard the voice, but he hopped carefully over to a sheet of metal it seemed to originate from.

"I'm... back here." The voice wavered, and Buzzsaw slowly managed to pry back the sheet of metal.

There was a chunk of metal leaning against a support beam, and a youngling crawled out from under it.

"Careful, you don't want to damage yourself," Buzzsaw hopped over to steady the youngling as it tried to stand. It looked like a young seeker, its frame caked in dust with several large dents and cracks, energon leaking slowly out of many of them.

"Who're you?" The youngling sounded exhausted, and Buzzsaw managed to sit him down so he could start cleaning him off.

"My designation is Buzzsaw. What is yours?"

"Radial. Seeker mechling." Radial's optics were flickering with a lack of energy.

"Here," Buzzsaw handed Radial a highly condensed field ration (that he wasn't technically supposed to have) and helped him drink it. "What are you doing way out here?" Buzzsaw gently prompted, hoping the response team would hurry the frag up already, and started some basic field repairs.

"Was exploring, trying to find a safe place," came the muttered response, and Buzzsaw looked up to see Radial's optics flickering even more.

Blaster: Buzzsaw... are... repeat...where...you?

Why could there never be decent reception when it was actually needed?

Buzzsaw: Exact location. Unknown. Status. With a youngling.

Blaster: ... noise... response... find you.:

Buzzsaw: Confirmed.

Buzzsaw looked up and screeched as loud as he could, and Radial jumped in surprise.

"The frag are you doing?" He muttered sullenly, watching suspiciously and flinching again as Buzzsaw repeated the process.

He paused briefly to look at Radial, "How else is anyone going to find us?"

Radial looked surprised. "Why would anyone be looking?" He sounded genuinely curious, though Buzzsaw couldn't imagine why.

"Why wouldn't they?" Buzzsaw was starting to suspect that Radial was on his own, but let the mechling answer.

"Nobody knows 'bout me. Why bother looking for something you doesn't know could exist?" Suspicions confirmed.

Buzzsaw let loose a particularly loud screech, and a voice echoed through the rubble to them, "Would yah stop with the fragging screeching? We know where yah are, and yer maken my audios leak!"

Snorting in contempt for the anonymous mech, Buzzsaw started repairing Radial again. "I cannot answer you last question, but know that you will not be forgotten again. I will ensure you are taken care of." Ignoring Radials dumfounded look, and the little voice in his processor asking him what the frag he was doing, Buzzsaw continued, "I know a few mechs that should be able to look after you, if that's not a problem." He looked Radial in the optic, almost wincing at the cracks and fluids leaking from them.

"N-no. That shouldn't be a p-problem," Radial stammered, probably never having considered finding caretakers after all he'd been through.

Buzzsaw started to smile, but hurridly did his best to cover Radial with his wings as a loud crack sounded behind them. Looking over his shoulder in irritation, Buzzsaw saw that the response team had managed to clear a path through all the rubble to their position. A blue pair of optics looked down at him and Radial, and Buzzsaw heard Radial's quite whimper at the sight of the larger mech.

Buzzsaw protectively flared out his wings, shielding Radial from the large mech and quietly sending him a comm.

Buzzsaw: The mechling is seriously injured, if you are not a medic I will continue to repair him here until one arrives.

The mech looked surprised, as though he hadn't expected Buzzsaw to stay with Radial, or communicate with him at all. Shaking his head, the mech turned around and began clearing away more of the debris around them.

To be honest, Buzzsaw was tired of all the horrors that the war had caused, and while it would take him a long time to trust the Autobots, he would do all he could to help the young that had been caught amongst the fighting.

Buzzsaw turned back to Radial, and quietly did his best to repair the poor mechling's injuries. Eventually another mech managed to get to them, and this one immediately strode over to where Buzzsaw and Radial were huddled. He spoke none too gently to Radial, and ignored his frightened expression in favor of getting straight to repairs. Buzzsaw quietly reassured Radial, and did his best to distract him until the medic decided it was safe enough to move him.

[Rumble]: So, Buzzer, Beaky tells us you're gonna be late. Wanna elaborate?

[Buzzsaw]: No. Leave me alone. I'm busy.

Buzzsaw almost felt bad as the others recoiled at his sharp tone, but then Radial called out to him and any regret he felt immediately disappeared.

Buzzsaw stayed with Radial the whole way to the Medical Center. Radial looked over at him more than once, and he was happy to provide the mechling any support he could.

He waited patiently throughout Radial's repairs, and Laserbeak came by to visit, tentatively asking what had happened after she left. He told her, trying to convey why he'd felt the need to stay with Radial, but she interrupted him, saying she understood. As she left, Buzzsaw pondered her statement. How could she understand? Sure, they'd all seen the horrible things that happened during the war, but he couldn't remember any of them seeing any injured younglings (other than each other) before.

Shortly after one of the medic's assistants came out and informed him that Radial would be fine, Buzzsaw commed Skywarp, only slightly hesitant.

Buzzsaw: Skywarp. I have a request.

Skywarp: What kind of request Buzzer?

Buzzsaw: I recently rescued a seeker mechling, and would like to introduce him to you and your trine-mates.

Buzzsaw could practically feel Skywarp's shock over the comm.

Skywarp: What?

Buzzsaw: You heard me. 

Skywarp: ...yeah... I did... but... a youngling? A seeker youngling? I didn't- We didn't-

Skywarp suddenly cut off, and Buzzsaw was worried something'd happened until the line was hurriedly re-established.

Skywarp: TC and Screamer would love to meet this youngling. If necessary, he can stay with us. Do you know his designation?

Buzzsaw: Of course. The mechling's designation is Radial.

Skywarp: Let one of us know when you leave the Med Center. That's where you are, right?

Buzzsaw: Yes.

Skywarp: Alright then, let me know before you come over with the mechling, and we'll meet you outside.

Buzzsaw: Thank you Skywarp.

Skywarp: No, Buzzer, thank you.

Left to contemplate Skywarp's strange tone and tangible excitement, Buzzsaw quietly sat in the waiting room for several joors, occasionally slipping into a light recharge.

He came to and blearily looked around as the medic and his assistants all quietly filed out of Radial's room, the medic coming over to inform Buzzsaw of the situation.

"The patient-"

"Radial." Buzzsaw hated when medics didn't refer to their patients by their designations as if they weren't thinking feeling Cybertronians, and instead were merely patients, or, even worse, numbers.

The medic glared at Buzzsaw for the interruption before continuing, "-Radial, will be able to leave in about a breem. He is currently being checked over by an assistant for anything we may have missed, and to ensure everything is integrating properly. You may see him, but stay out of the assistant's way. "

With a nod to the medic, Buzzsaw made his way to Radial's room and quietly slid in with a bit of apprehension. The last time he'd been in the Med Center was after Ravage was attacked. That had been terrifying, and he took a moment to calm down and reassure himself that Ravage was fine. She was at home, enjoying her time off and resting. It was not Ravage on the med berth, the medical equipment was not struggling to keep her alive. She was fine. She was fine.

"Buzzsaw.." Radial's rough voice helped bring Buzzsaw out of his quickly worsening memories, and he hopped onto a chair beside Radial's berth. "What're you doing here?"

"I've been here the whole time." As if he would leave Radial here.

"Why?" The poor mechling, automatically assuming he was to be alone again.

"I have some friends I would like to introduce you to, and I wanted to make sure you were alright." That, and he didn't quite trust Autobot medics yet.

"Oh." Radial settled down, and watched the medic's assistant as he checked all the monitors and left without a word. "It's been a while since... since anyone did anything like that for me." Radial looked down at his servos, gently running his fingers over the dull weld marks.

Buzzsaw's spark went out to the mech in sympathy, and he carefully hopped onto the med berth next to Radial. "I spoke to a friend of mine," a very recently made friend, Buzzsaw though with an internal laugh, "that would be happy to let you stay with him." At Radial's sad look, Buzzsaw hurried to explain his reasoning, "He's a seeker too, and while I'm sure it would be alright if you wanted to stay with me instead, I live with a very rowdy group and it would not exactly be the safest place for you. My siblings aren't exactly known for their kindness." He managed to imagine a quiet Rumble and Frenzy, but the image was quickly destroyed by another imaginary Rumble and Frenzy coming in and obliterating the whole scene riding a snarling Ravage.

Buzzsaw shook his head, hoping that would get Rumble and Frenzy's infectious madness out of his processor.

"You have siblings?" Buzzsaw looked up quickly at Radial's surprised tone, and smiled at the shocked expression on the mechling's faceplates.

"Yes. I have five siblings. I am actually the second youngest. There are Ravage, Rumble and Frenzy, Laserbeak, myself, and Ratbat along with Soundwave, our creator." Buzzsaw wondered a click too late if it was unwise to mention the fact that his creator was still online, or his siblings, but at Radial's wondering expression the worry faded.

"I had a sister. She went offline a long time ago. She was protecting me, actually. From some scavengers." Radial's voice wavered, and a fresh wave of sympathy washed over Buzzsaw. "Her designation was Audial."

Buzzsaw had to strain to hear the last part, it was said very quietly and with a world of sadness.

"If you are feeling well enough, we can go to my friend's house, and you can decide who you would like to stay with." Hopefully being outside would cheer Radial up.

Radial looked up, hope in his optics, "We can leave?"

Buzzsaw nodded, and Radial slowly sat up with Buzzsaw's assistance. Even more slowly, Radial slid off the med berth and walked over to the door. Buzzsaw followed, and signed Radial out at he slowly made his way to the elevator. Buzzsaw slid in just as the doors were closing, and it was the two of them and a medic in the elevator as it descended.

The medic paid them no attention, quietly frowning at the datapad in his servo and muttering to himself.

Buzzsaw and Radial got off, and headed outside. "Do you think you can fly?" Buzzsaw was worried transforming would be too much for the young mech.

Radial shot him a slightly offended look, "Of course I can fly."

Buzzsaw had to resist the urge to roll his optics. Seekers. "I mean, do you think you can fly hallway across Iacon after just having major repairs done?"

Radial looked uncertain, "I can try." He slowly folded down into a sleek Cybertronian jet-form, "if we don't go too fast I'll be fine." As if Buzzsaw could fly that fast, he wasn't a jet. His alt-mode was a stationary object for Primus' sake!

However, "Follow me," was all that he said before taking off and lazily circling the Med Center to gain altitude. Radial kept close, and seemed to be doing well. As soon as they were higher than most of the buildings and ruins, Buzzsaw headed off towards the Earth Decepticon's sector with a quick glance to make sure Radial was following.

Buzzsaw: We're coming, Skywarp. We might be a while, but we're coming.

Skywarp: Gotcha Buzzer. See you and the runt soon. 

A quick glance confirmed that Radial was gliding just behind Buzzsaw, engines quietly humming with power. They flew in relative silence, Radial occasionally asking a question or two about some of the mechs and buildings that caught his interest, but remaining quiet for the most part.

As his house came into view Buzzsaw felt a surge of relief. He was finally home. Looking at his internal clock Buzzsaw started as he realized he'd been away for almost two whole cylces. He'd been in the Med Center a lot longer than he thought.

"This is it," he called back to Radial. Slowly he began to descend, keeping an optic on Radial to make sure he wasn't having too much trouble.

They landed without incident, and Radial slowly transformed and looked around, his optics wide. Buzzsaw wondered what he was thinking, but before he could ask Skywarp came outside.

"Hey Buzzer! What's up? Have a good flight? You do know you missed a whole day of work right? Prowl was gonna freak on you, but I told him what happened and he was cool with it. Is this Radial?" Buzzsaw stared in shocked surprise at Skywarp's barrage of questions. Since when was Skywarp so chatty?

"I am fine. The flight was pleasant." It was nice to be able to fly slowly without worrying about being shot at (or late). "I am aware that I missed work, but I honestly don't care." No, he still didn't like Blaster. "Thank you for informing Prowl of what happened." It saved Buzzsaw the processor ache of doing it himself. "Yes, this is Radial." Glancing over at Radial, Buzzsaw found him looking at Skywarp with apprehension.

"Radial, this is Skywarp." Radial glanced at Buzzsaw before focusing on Skywarp again.

"Is he... safe?" While Buzzsaw paused, trying to understand exactly what Radial meant by that, Skywarp slowly got on his knees and held out his servos in a non-threatening gesture.

"Radial, I'm about as safe as you can get. Even if I weren't, my Trine Mates would be." Skywarp jerked his head back towards the house and Radial looked surprised to see Thundercracker and Starscream standing just outside the door, watching the whole scene with interest.

At Radial's look, they both started walking over to where Skywarp was still kneeling in front of Radial.

"If you chose to stay with us, or with Buzzsaw and his family, or even with someone else entirely, we will be here for you. That is what seekers do." Thundercracker's deep voice seemed to relax Radial just as much as what he was actually saying.

Starscrem was eyeing Radial with interest. "How old are you, youngling? I do not remember anyone being sparked before the war, or it's beginning stages, that could have grown to be as young as you are now."

Radial looked surprised at the random question, though he answered promptly. "I'm around 4 hundred vorns, sir."

Rolling his optics Starscream said, "Call me Starscream please. Sir is..." he paused, trying to figure out how to convey his dislike of the word coming from Radial.

"It's too formal!" Skywarp butted in with a grin. "You can call him Screamer, Star, Screcher, Screamy, Twinkle, Schemer, Smarty Pedes..." Skywarp trailed off with mischievous smirk, smiling broadly at Starscream's horrified expression.

"You little glitch" he shrieked, living upto his name and diving at Skywarp, starting to wrestle his impertinent Trine Mate.

Thundercracker looked on with good humor and walked over to kneel next to Radial, "If we're too strange for you, you don't have to stay with us, though you may find Buzzsaw's family to be far stranger than ours." Thundercracker paused before smiling at Radial and holding out a servo, "I am Thundercracker, by the way. Though you can call me TC. It is considerably shorter."

Radial looked at Thundercracker, slightly taller than the mechling even when kneeling down, and carefully shook the offered servo, "Okay, TC." He said TC with some hesitation, as if not sure of what to make of the strange name. "Are they hurting each other?" He asked, looking at Skywarp and Starscream with concern evident in his voice, and Thudercracker laughed.

"Oh no, if they were fighting you would know. This," he waved a servo at the two seekers still flopping about, "is nothing. We rarely ever fight, not for real at least." He looked at Skywarp and Starscream with a fondness that was easy to see.

Radial looked between Thundercracker, Buzzsaw, and Skywarp and Starscream several times with uncertainty.

"You won't get in trouble for looking after me, will you?" Radial looked like he knew the answer already, and dreaded hearing it out loud.

Thundercracker only smiled, "We might, but I honestly doubt that Megatron, or any of the Autobots, would be willing to go against my Trine, as well as Buzzsaw's family. We are a force to be reckoned with, certainly." Then, as if realizing exactly what it was Radial had said, he asked in a surprisingly soft tone, "You wish to stay with us?" He gestured to himself, Skywarp and Starscream; Starscream currently muttering obscenities at Skywarp, who was happily sitting on him.

Radial's optic dimmed in surprise before he smiled and nodded shyly. "I'd like that," he said, and yelped as Skywarp appeared in front of him with a flash and grabbed him, spinning him around and hugging him.

"Yay! The runt's staying!" Skywarp cheered, not breaking stride as he spun around, and around.

"You idiot!" Starscream strode over and grabbed Skywarp, barely managing to stop the larger mech's joyous spinning. "What if you hurt him!? He did just come back from the Med Center you know!"

Skywarp had the grace to look embarrassed before holding Radial out at arm's length. "You alright, Runty?" He asked with concern, but smiled at Radial's happily dazed expression.

"Can we do that again?" He asked, somewhat dizzily.

Starscream quickly deflated, Thundercracker heartily (or is it sparktily?) laughed, and Skywarp instantly complied, much to Radial's delight.

Looking at the four seekers, none of which he'd ever seen so happy before (and he'd known three of them for several million vorns), Buzzsaw realized that it was moments like this that made all the unpleasant things worth it.

[Frenzy]: The frag you so cheerful about Buzzer?:

Buzzsaw smiled at Frenzy's petulant voice, remembering a certain conversation he'd heard earlier.

[Buzzsaw]: No much Frenzy. I do have a question though. Are you moping because I'm happy, or because your instructor rejected you?

Instantly several voices were clamoring about in his processor, demanding to know about Frenzy's rejection, and why he'd had to be rejected in the first place. Then, cutting softly through the noise, came Soundwave, speaking only to Buzzsaw.

[Soundwave]: Buzzsaw. Is doing well?:

Soundwave sounded both concerned and proud of his second youngest creation.

Looking again at the new family in front of him, currently teamed up against Thundercracker in an epic tickle fight, Buzzsaw gleefully sent his creator a live feed of what he was seeing.

[Buzzsaw]: I'm not sure I've ever been better.:

Hearing Soundwave's rare laughter over the bond, Buzzsaw was certain this was the happiest he'd been in a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't hate Blaster! I swear! I just needed an Autobot for Buzzer to hate and he fit...
> 
> Questions about some of the more obscure things?
> 
> The reason Buzzsaw didn't actually get sick is (in my mind) because warp-sickness is like seasickness. Some get it really bad, and some don't. There is no choice or control over it at all. Buzzsaw's just lucky.


	11. Post War Trials: Laserbeak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laserbeak ponders and stops paying attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [bot]: bond talk:
> 
> "normal, spoken Cybertronian"
> 
> bot: comm talk
> 
> *Warning Message*

Her creator was Soundwave.

Out of all the TIC's cassettes she was Megatron's favourite.

Chances of her being sentient were small, and she was undoubtedly a mech.

That was about it. Few knew she was not a mere drone, and even fewer knew she was a femme. Laserbeak liked it that way. She was content to watch everything, always hanging back and never participating. That was her way. She learned so much by standing back. It was part of what made her such a good intelligence agent during the war.

She knew several of the Autobots had stated relationships now that the war was over.

Prowl, Wheeljack, Ratchet, Perceptor... quite a few of them had managed to find counterparts (be they temporary of permanent) to spend time with.

She knew about Frenzy's infatuation with his tutor, and Rumble's dislike of his existence in general.

Of course, any normal mech would accept being rejected and move on. Not Frenzy. He insisted that Impact was infatuated with his "mechliness" and was only going out with the other guy (whom Frenzy had yet to figure out the identity of) because she felt sorry for him.

Rumble, of course, was still pouting about being sent to school. Now though, he could also pout about Frenzy's incessant pestering and questions about how to get Impact away from her mech.

She knew of Ravage's deep seated (but never spoken) fondness for her siblings and Soundwave.

It had become almost glaringly obvious after she'd been attacked. Her new favourite habit was lounging in the game center where the family usually hung out and stretching out across the unfortunate sibling she wanted to snuggle with. She did the same to Soudnwave, but she'd had that habit for as long as any of her siblings could remember.

She knew Optimus Prime and Elita One were expecting a sparkling.

Of course, the fact that Jazz had been dancing through the med-bay singing "Oppy and Lita have a bun in the oven!" wasn't exactly inconspicuous, but few bots knew what it meant to have a bun in the oven. Those that did know weren't saying anything (Megatron and Optimus' orders) so the "secret" was staying quiet.

She knew Megatron was desperately lonely, even if he'd never admit it.

She often saw him brooding after meeting with Optimus Prime and his officers, all his officers. That meant the femmes too. Megatron actually seemed to get slightly depressed after those meetings. Not very noticeable to those that didn't know him, but Laserbeak and her family had been working with him since before the war and knew his moods almost like they knew their own.

She knew that everyone desperately wanted the alliance to work out, but that at the same time everyone was having a very hard time working together. Except, apparently, for Sideswip and Skywarp. But most bots were of the opinion that neither of those two had ever really been sane and that their friendship was expected and to be avoided at all costs, lest you be unfortunate enough to draw their attention.

How Buzzsaw had managed to befriend Skywarp, Laserbeak doubted she'd ever really figure out.

Though bringing him and his Trine a youngling probably helped a lot.

The one bot she had a feeling she'd never understand was, ironically, herself.

Sure, she had her own personality and quirks, but sometimes she completely surprised herself. After the war ended, she had learned she like dancing.

She, the dreaded Laserbeak, liked to dance.

There were many other occasions that had resulted in an unexpected facet in her personality being revealed, and they unnerved her. The other bots? She could figure them out, watch them, learn who they were. Unfortunately, she had yet to managed to observe herself with the same detachment she could apply to others.

One such facet was causing a few more problems than the others, however, and as she flew to the pre-arranged meeting site she wondered, as she always did before these meetings, what she was doing.

If Soundwave or her siblings ever found out there would be the Pit to pay, especially if they found out how long it'd been going on.

So focused on her internal conundrum was she, that she actually shrieked when something tore through her wing, agony blinding her and causing her to spin out of control towards the distant ground.

She struggled to stop her downward spiral, but the pain coming from her wing was making ever movement excruciating.

[Soundwave]: Laserbeak! Status?

She could feel the surprise and concern emanating from Soundwave.

[Soundwave]: Laserbeak! Status!?

[Laserbeak]: Damaged. Impact unavoidable. Sorry, Soundwave.:

Desperately she commed the one mech she knew would be nearby.

Laserbeak: Bluestreak. Status. Damaged. Wing. Shot. Requireassistanceplease...

She could feel alarm over the comm. line.

Bluestreak: Hang on Laserbeak I'm on my way.

The last thing she saw was a dull flash before pain enveloped her and everything went black.

-_-Ominous Transition-_-

The first thing she noticed was the lack of things to be noticed.

There were no ruins.

No toppled buildings.

No clouds of dust or pollution.

Nothing.

Just sky.

What the frag?

Warnings started scrolling across her line of vision, and she did her best to ignore them. Surely someone would be able to find her before those became a concern?

Then her audios came online.

"-ver wake the frag up? It's been ages! Think something important got busted?"

Oh yeah. She'd been shot. Why didn't anything hurt? The distinct lack of pain either meant she'd been repaired, or she'd lost so much energon her pain receptors had shut off.

"Of course not you glitch-helm! My shot was perfect! You were the frag-tard that didn't catch it like you were supposed to!"

Chances of it being the first option were rapidly dwindling. It didn't seem like any of her captors were smart enough to repair a light bulb much less a Cybertronian.

"Why don't you shut the frag up and focus on getting it back online?"

At least they didn't know she was a femme.

A shadow fell across her vision, and it took a moment for her optics to focus on the figure above her.

The fact that they were both cracked didn't really help.

The mech was, perhaps, larger then Soundwave, and far less friendly looking. (Considering her creator's reputation and appearance, that was really saying something.) From what she could tell, his alt-mode was some kind of construction vehicle. His paint was faded and covered in scratches, dents, and rust.

"It's awake."

He sounded surprised.

[Soundwave]: Laserbeak! Status?

Soundwave's voice broke through her still muddled thoughts.

[Laserbeak]: Severely damaged. Position. Unknown. My PPS is broken. There are two mech with me. They seem like scavengers.

"Hey. Spy-Bot. Get up." A pede to her side quickly drew her attention back to the present as her pain receptors flared weakly before going back offline.

The mech glared down at her, servos on his hips.

Laserbeak decided to call him Loomer. All he seemed to do was loom over her.

The other mech peered down at her from his precarious perch on Loomer's shoulder. He didn't appear to be much bigger than a minibot.

"You sure it ain't broken?" His voice grated at her audials, and Laserbeak dubbed him Shriek.

She briefly contemplated her sparkling-like tendency to assign random nick-names to mechs before pushing the wayward thought to the back of her processor, dismissing it as nothing more that a result of the massive amounts of energon she'd undoubtedly lost.

Loomer was doing his best to loom even more, even with Shriek on his shoulder to screw with his equilibrium sensors.

"It's not," Loomer said with a surprising amount of confidence. "And," he crouched down next to Laserbeak causing Shriek to squawk and topple off of Loomer, "if it wants to remain un-broken, it will get up. Now." He was doing a good job ignoring Shriek, who was flailing about, trying to right himself and somehow failing spectacularly.

Prowl: Laserbeak. Soundwave and Bluestreak have informed us of your situation. We're closing in on your position. Please don't move.

"I said move, Spy-Bot."

Prowl: Repeat. We are closing in on your position. Do not move, Laserbeak.

"Last chance, Spy-Bot. You move now, or you never move again."

Before her processor could overheat trying to decide who she should listen to, Loomer staggered backwards with a bellow as a hole was ripped through his shoulder, easily throwing Shriek off.

She saw Shriek glance at Loomer before trying to run away. A shot ripped through his leg, and he fell to the ground screaming.

A small black blurr leaped over her followed quickly by two larger red and yellow blurs. She managed to see Ravage, Sunstreaker, and Sideswipe rip into Loomer and Shriek. Ravage savagely tore into Shriek when he made a pathetic attempt to crawl away, while Sunstreaker and Sideswipe easily took down Loomer by dismembering him.

They'd probably survive. You know, so they could be interrogated later.

Looking up Laserbeak saw three seekers in the sky above her, and then Bluestreak, Soundwave, Ratchet, and Prowl came into view around her just as another set of warnings came up and started flashing red.

*Warning. Coolant Loss- Critical. Systems- Melting.*

*Warning. Energon loss- Critical. Stasis Lock- Initiated.*

*Warning. Spark Chamber- Breached. Contaminants- Detected.*

*Stasis Lock- Initiated.*

She caught a brief glimpse of Bluestreak's horrified expression before everything once again went black.

-_-Ominous Transition Número Dos-_-

Laserbeak decided she hated the med-bay. Aside from the brig in Decepticon Headquarters (that the Autobots were currently unaware of) the med-bay was the most depressing place in all of Iacon. Even the ruins were better than the med-bay, because if you looked hard enough you could see a special beauty in the looming structures and twisted metal. The med-bay though? Nope. It was all dull colours and painfully clean smells punctuated by the moans of injured bots, muttering and orders of grumpy medics, and incessant beeping of terrifying medical machines with screens full of meaningless information that was somehow related to a bot's state of well-being.

Horrible.

Laerbeak just lay on the med berth for a while, going through her emotions and memories, trying to figure out what exactly had happened.

She'd been going to meet Bluestreak, that much wasn't new.

What was new was being shot at and bot-napped on the way to their meeting spot.

Laserbeak winced as a ghost of pain flitted over her wing where she'd been shot.

Then she'd crashed, only to wake up in some Primus forsaken place far from anything remotely resembling civilization, with her captors apparently oblivious to her status and obviously not prepared for a rescue party of the firepower that had come after her.

To be honest, she was incredibly surprised that the mechs she remembered seeing had all come to rescue her.

Bluestreak, Soundwave, and her sibling had been expected.

Prowl, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, Ratchet, and the Elite Trine had definitely not been.

Before she could ponder it further Ratchet came in, and he seemed unsurprised to find her online.

He studied her, as if looking for something, before turning away and calling resignedly through the door, "She's online, you can come in now."

All of a sudden mechs were coming into her room, and she fought back a squawk of surprise.

Rumble and Frenzy were first (obviously), followed by Buzzsaw, Soundwave, Ravage, and Bluestreak. She looked past them and managed to see the Elite Trine, Prowl, Jazz, Sideswipe, and a tiny bit of yellow that had to be Sunstreaker before the door closed.

There was a brief awkward silence before Rumble and Frenzy jumped onto the berth next to her. "The frag were you thinking Beaky! You know better than to and get yourself shot when we're not nearby! What if those idiot had actually been smart? What if they'd knocked you so far offline we couldn't feel you? What-"

"Enough. Laserbeak. Aware of errors. Does not need you reminding her." Soundwave cut through Frenzy's rant with ease of practice, but it didn't stop her from feeling guilty. She hadn't been thinking. She was one of the few bots that hoped everything was alright now that the war was over, but that was no reason to let her guard down so much. She was getting sloppy, and this whole fiasco was her fault. Laserbeak flinched as the worry, fear, and anger from her family finally made it past her blocks.

"Hey now, it wasn't entirely her fault. She was coming to see me, and if our factions were actually as friendly as we pretended to be for the neutrals and civvies then we wouldn't have felt the need to meet so fragging far away, so don't you go placing all the blame on her!" Bluestreak's angry voice stopped her spiral downwards into the vast pit of remorse and self-pity, and she looked up at him in surprise and gratitude.

Bluestreak smiled down at her and rubbed her head (right on that spot she really liked) and she gently pressed into the freely given comfort.

However she regretfully ducked her head away to peer over the side of the berth when Frenzy fell off it in what she assumed was surprise.

[Laserbeak]: Frenzy... alright?:

Frenzy was looking up at her with a dazed expression, so Rumble answered for him.

"Exactly how long have you been meeting Little Boy Blue, Beaky?" Wincing at the accusation in his voice, Laserbeak moved closer to Bluestreak as his engine rumbled angrily.

"She'd been meeting me since before the war ended, and before you get mad, she never betrayed any of you," he glanced at Ratchet, who was also glaring angrily at the duo, "and I never betrayed the Bots. We met by accident, but I don't regret the times we met afterwards that were most definitely not accidents."

"Inquiry." Laserbeak couldn't bring herself to look up at Soundwave, fearing the disappointed expression she knew was surely adorning his faceplates (despite the battle mask and visor). "Laserbeak and Bluestreak. Happy after meetings?"

What? That wasn't what she expected to hear. She expected orders to stay away from Bluestreak, not if she was happy seeing him.

"Yes." They answered at the same time, and smiled quickly at each other.

"It was nice to be able to talk to someone about things, and not worry about seeing them everyday or telling the others on the Ark. It was also nice to know that Decepticons were just like us, despite the animosity between our factions, and that there might be hope for a peaceful end to the war." At everyone's baffled expressions, Bluestreak seemed to lose some of his confidence, and Laserbeak felt the need to speak up.

"Meetings with Bluestreak, always beneficial for both parties, despite the dangers... I know I was more relaxed and cheerful after them, and Bluestreak, from what I gathered, was too." She glanced up at him when he gently put a hand on her back, and chirred affectionately at him when he winked at her.

"Primus I think I'm gonna purge," Rumble looked rather sick at their familiarity with each other, and quickly hopped off the berth to sit next to Ravage, who, along with Buzzsaw, had yet to voice an opinion.

Ratchet moved a bit, somehow drawing everyone's attention with the simple action. "You're not," he paused, as if the words were painful to say, "together, are you?"

Looking at each other in surprise Laserbeak and Bluestreak started laughing. Despite the pain of her recent repairs flaring up, Laserbeak laughed hysterically right alongside Bluestreak until warnings for overheating systems started popping up.

Bluestreak, reduced to kneeling next to her berth with the force of his laughter, tried to explain that they were merely good friends, but ended up laughing even harder.

"I think that answers the question," came Ratchet's wry response, and Laserbeak could feel tiny threads of relief through the bond.

All of a sudden Ravage, shrugging off Rumble, leapt onto Laserbeak's berth and crouched directly in front of Bluestreak.

For his part, Bluestreak stopped laughing remarkably quickly and stared up at Ravage from his spot on the floor without so much as twitching. Ravage growled at him, snapped at him, hissed at him, even, and still he didn't flinch.

Satisfied, Ravage sat back and nuzzled Laserbeak.

[Ravage]: I like him.

Everyone that could have heard Ravage stared at her incredulously. Laserbeak quickly overcame her shock and returned the nuzzling, happy that at least one of her family was willing to accept her unusual friendship. Of course, out of all her siblings, Ravage was the one who'd spent the most time on the Ark (after Laserbeak), and thus the most likely to understand.

Soundwave stepped forward and held out an arm, and Laserbeak unsteadily hopped onto it, her injuries preventing her from being her usual, graceful self. He slowly raised his arm so that Laserbeak could look him in the optics (for his cassettes, the visor did nothing to hide his emotions and expressions). "Laserbeak. Trusts Autobot Bluestreak?"

Laserbeak stared back without flinching, "Yes."

Soundwave stared at her for a moment more, and while she knew he wasn't completely satisfied, he would allow the answer for now.

"Cassettes. Laserbeak exempt. Return home."

Rumble and Frenzy started protesting, but Soundwave cut them off with a firm look and they slouched out of the room, muttering obscenities under their breath. Ravage followed with a respectful nod to Ratchet, something that surprised him more than any one else. Soundwave carefully lowered his arm, and allowed Laserbeak to hop off before he too left. Buzzsaw flew down and landed next to her on the berth, looking at her thoughtfully.

[Buzzsaw]: So this is why you understand. Good luck, Laserbeak.:

Laserbeak watched him fly out of the room, confusion only leaving her when she saw the mechling sitting on Skywarp's lap. She briefly remembered asking Buzzsaw about that day while he'd been waiting in the med-bay, and his confusion when she'd cut him off before he could explain why he'd felt the need to help the youngling. She smiled at the look of joy on the mechling's face when Buzzsaw landed on his shoulder.

Looking at the two mechs left in the room, Laserbeak had to laugh at their completely different expressions. Bluestreak, of course, knew of the bond she shared with her family and was looking at her with fond amusement. Ratchet however, was looking a little uneasy at the obviously affectionate interactions between her and her various family members. When he saw her looking at him, however, he shook himself a bit and, with a nod to both of them, started to leave. Then he turned back to her with a glare, "Make sure you don't do anything too strenuous, and if you do anything to aggravate your injuries I will personally reformat you into a cuckoo clock, army of dedicated mechs aside." Then he left with the air of someone who has seen crazy things and was relieved to finally be able to leave.

Bluestreak sat on the end of her berth, and Laserbeak rested her helm on his thigh, "Can you believe they though we were a couple?"

She looked up at him and snorted derisively. "Not that it's not a nice thought, but I'd have figure the whole size difference thing would make it obvious we aren't a couple."

Few would have detected the edge of sorrow to her words, but Bluestreak had become too familiar with her over the vorns to miss it.

He smiled sadly down at her, "Awww, come on now LB. I didn't mean it like that! I'm sure we'll find someone for you. After all," amusement filled his optics, "Blaster does have cassettes of his own."

Laserbeak gave him a horrified look, "Them?! As if! Those immature sparklings would hardly be able to stand someone of my obvious intelligence, and besides, none of the idiots can fly. How am I supposed to leisurely fly around Iacon showing off my partner when they can't get more than double their own height off the ground?"

Bluestreak laughed at her indignant expression and easy dismissal of Blaster's cassettes, "Well," he said slyly, leaving no room for doubt as to what he was going to talk about.

Laserbeak huffed and looked away, her irritated posture not fooling either of them. As Bluestreak laughingly babbled on about how sexy Blaster's cassettes were, Laserbeak realized she knew exactly what she was doing when she went to meet Bluestreak once every few cycles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I got the Autobots written out OK.
> 
> Just in case you missed it, Bluestreak and Laserbeak are *not* romantically involved. They are merely very good friends that can complain about the stupidity of their factions and say ridiculous things to each other without fear of being judged for it or having their secrets spilled.


	12. Post War Trials: Soundwave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave goes on an unexpected adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Warning for rather extreme violence & Cybertronian gore, cold-spark-ted-ness, and Soundwave kicking aft***
> 
> If you don't like violence, I suggest you don't read.
> 
> [name]: bond talk
> 
> "normal, spoken Cybertronian"

Soundwave had never been so frustrated with a simple camera before. Nothing he seemed to do would get the damn thing to work, and out of his family he was easily the best at repairs.

Of course, that didn't mean he was a slouch when it came to all the other aspects of his job, after all, someone had had to teach his creations how to do their jobs.

[Laserbeak]: Soundwave, you really should have let one of us come with you. It's not safe to be on the outskirts of Iacon by yourself, what if the mechs that came after Ravage and I come after you?:

A wave of rage washed over Soundwave, and he actually had to pause what he was doing to get control of himself. His visor flashed an even deeper red as he struggled to push plans of torture and interrogation out of his processor. He was not angry at his cassettes, but at those that dared harm his beloved creations.

[Soundwave]: Two instances. Unrelated. Mechs that shot you down. Unaware of your status. Mechs that targeted Ravage. Completely aware of her status. Possible connections between two parties. Few.:

It was a clear dismissal, and yet Laserbeak still let not only her unease, but the unease of all his creations at his current situation, echo down their bonds before completely withdrawing.

A loud crash echoed through the desolate building Soundwave was in, and he quickly resumed his task, suddenly very aware of exactly how far from any other bot he could possibly call on for assistance he was. He wasn't afraid, just... uneasy. He quietly cursed his creations for their distraction and concern. Their emotions were clearly influencing him, and, in this case, it was a decidedly unhelpful influence.

The building around him groaned, and another crash echoed desolately around him. He pushed the noises to the back of his processor, cataloguing them as the falling rubble of an obviously decrepit building.

With his control solely focused on the stubbornly malfunctioning camera, Soundwave easily lost track of time. In his determined state he had no idea exactly how long he was working on the camera, all he knew was that when it finally flared to life, it was jet black and obviously night. So far from the budding civilization that was the center of Iacon was he that no light reached him from the many nightclubs or security outposts that were scattered all throughout the growing city.

The building creaked again, and this time Soudwave looked around him, noting the debris scattered around him. He quietly groaned as he finally stood up, joints loudly protesting the movement. He wistfully remembered a time when he could spend whole cycles doing nothing but maintenance work and still be able to go out and DJ at the nearest nightclub afterwards.

A flicker of movement caught his optic, and he stretched his scanners out, briefly wondering why none of his creations had come out looking for him.

Nothing came up on his scanners, and he considered an entirely implausible reason for his continued isolation.

They'd listened to him. All the vorns of trying to get them to realize that he'd been online and fully functional without them and was more than competent when it came to defending himself were finally, finally, paying off.

[Soundwave]: Camera repairs. Complete. Status. Fully functional.:

There was another flicker in his peripheral vision, and Soundwave redoubled his scans, cursing himself for being so nervous of mere shadows.

[Rumble]: About slagging time boss. What the frag took you so long?:

Again, nothing showed up on any of his scans. Soundwave contemplated using his telepathy to search the area, knowing nothing online would be able to hide, before dismissing the idea. It left his physical body far too vulnerable, even in the supposedly empty ruins of a building there were many things that could do him considerable harm if he wasn't careful.

[Soundwave]: Camera had been tampered with.

He felt alarm flow through the bond, and not just from Rumble.

[Soundwave]: Enough. Facts. Concerning. Reality. Will be carefully. Status-:

He saw a shadow move. He saw it. Nothing appeared on his scanners, but he saw it move.

He sighed, ignoring the fact that he desperately wished he wasn't quite so stubborn. He quietly vowed to place more trust in his cassettes in the future.

The shadows around him started moving, and he powered up his weapons.

That was, if he survived to see the future.

: -May require assistance.:

The shadows flitted towards him, and with nothing showing up on his scans and a building very close to toppling over on him, he exhaled in defeat before firing his Sonic Cannon at everything that moved.

It didn't do much good. The shadows kept coming, their near invisible shapes dancing around his blasts, always getting closer to him.

[Soundwave]: Change of plans. Do not come here. Stay safe.:

He took a deep intake, slowly pushing all his emotions to the back of his processor.

He looked at his love for his creation. Yes, he realized, it was love. He, the Decepticon TIC, felt love. It was a soft, beautiful thing that came from countless cycles of teaching them everything and answering their seemingly endless questions. It was a love that came from compassion, and almost constant interaction. It was a love that he would do everything in his power to protect and keep safe. A humourless smile graced his faceplates, not that anyone would have been able to see it even if there was light to see by considering he had his battle mask in place. Gently, ever so gently, he placed his love with the rest of his emotions, and powered down that part of his processor, effectively rendering himself emotionless.

With calculated precision he closed his ends of the bonds he had with his creations. They would not distract him, or feel his injuries. They wouldn't not know what he was about to do.

They would be safe.

The shadows were close now, close enough to see their outlines in the glow of his visor. He powered it down along with his optics, letting the sounds of the building and the almost imperceptible shuffling of feet and hiss of hydraulics filter through his hyper-sensitive audios.

His targets finally clear to him, he struck. Despite his bulky frame, he moved freely, gracefully, and brutally. His time as a lower class mech before the war had taught him many things, and fighting was, after communications, the thing he'd been best at.

The shadows finally made noise, screaming in pain and fury. The sounds of their limbs ripping from their bodies, every cable snapping and tearing, every drop of fluid splattering across himself and his surrounding, every curse and whimper that he could so clearly hear, everything, energised him.

A deadly smile lit his face as the joys of such fighting overcame him, his emotional blocks flawed for the fact that they couldn't block what he hadn't felt in millions of vorns. True battle-lust. He'd held so much back against the Autobots, but here? He revelled in the feeling of pure energy flowing through him, and as more and more bots fell before him he heard less and less of them skulking about in the ruins around him.

He carelessly shoved his hand through the chestplates of the bot in front of him, stepping forward to reach through all the cables and struts blocking his way, and broke through the bot's spark casing. At the agonized scream a laugh finally escaped him, cold, cruel, and a sound none of the bots present would ever forget; Soundwave casually closed his servo on the mech's spark, bracing himself against the bot's convulsing body, before violently ripping it out; if he let them out of the building online, that is.

Soundwave onlined his visor, hardly surprised to find he could barely see though it for all the energon covering it. He activated his optics and flipped up the visor, staring emotionlessly at the spark he held in his energon soaked servos. With a smirk, he threw it at the nearest online bot, optics flashing as the femme dropped all her weapon to catch the fragile ball of energy. He activated his Sonic Cannon, tweaking the frequencies a bit, before shooting a single pulse at the femme.

It connected with the spark cradled so delicately between her servos, and Soundwave quickly ducked behind the nearest piece of rubble, not needing to watch to know what would happen.

A wave of blue energy passed by him, searing everything it touched, and he heard several of his remaining attackers brief screams before they all cut off as the blue energy reached those unfortunate enough to be caught in the wave.

As soon as everything cooled off a bit, still sizzling against the cool night air, Soundwave stepped out from behind his piece of rubble, coldly appraising the damage around him in the faint light of the approaching dawn. Everything that the blue energy had touched was welded together, and the limbs strewn across the floor before the wave were now discoloured little puddles.

Letting his scanners lose he detected no energy signatures, but he'd expected that. Throughout the entire night he hadn't been able to detect a single one of his attacker's spark energies.

Striding through the carnage Soundwave paused briefly before the camera he'd originally come to repair, or rather, what was left of it. Staring at the sad little off-grey-puddle that was the whole reason for his being in this nightmare of a building, Soundwave felt only unbridled anger towards his attackers. They'd undoubtedly sabotaged his camera, and after all the hard work he'd put into its repairs, this was how it repaid him? By being stupid enough to get caught in the blue energy and melt?

The brief thought that he was low on energon and not thinking straight crossed his processor, but he pushed it aside. He had to make sure the building was truly empty; after all, it wouldn't do for their to be any survivors to tell others of his long-hidden talents.

Walking carefully around the melted remains of the level he'd been working on, Soundwave found no survivors, and there were no pedeprints in the still slightly soft, hot floor to indicate that any of his attackers had managed to survive the wave of blue energy and get this far.

Movement to his right immediately drew his attention, and Soundwave was quick to shoot the retreating form of a femme as she ran away. He watched as her frame, quickly turning the gunmetal grey of a sparkless Cybertronian frame, crumpled against the cooling ground.

An anguished scream echoed around the empty ruins, the mangled structures making it hard to pinpoint the origin of the noise.

Pedesteps sounded, steadily getting louder, and Soundwave barely managed to duck in time to avoid the lithe frame that flew at him from a hole in the ceiling.

Rolling to the side and priming his Sonic Cannon Soudwave quickly realised that his attacker wasn't interested in him. She instead rushed over to the recently greyed corpse, and promptly began sobbing over it.

How incredibly foolish.

Soundwave quietly got to his pedes and, Sonic Cannon still ready to fire, cautiously made his way to the femme.

She looked up at him when he stopped behind her, "You gonna offline me too?" Her voice was hoarse from sobbing and obviously filled with grief.

Soundwave couldn't find it in him to care, his emotions were still relatively locked away.

"Negative." He almost laughed at her relieved smile. "Prisoners need to be online for proper interrogation." Not phased by her now horrified expression Soundwave backhanded her hard enough to knock out her equilibrium sensors before grabbing her by the neck and choking her, halting the flow of energon to her processor.

She struggled, desperately scrabbling at his arm with her pathetically weak servos. Despite his numerous injuries, he didn't even flinch. Just calmly stared at her until she ceased struggling. Checking to make sure she was merely in temporary stasis Soundwave hacked into her systems and, after making short work of her firewalls, put her in medical-induced stasis-lock using codes he'd long ago stolen from Hook.

He slung her over his shoulder and debated bringing the offline body with him before deciding he might as well. Even if nothing useful could be garnered from the frame, Shockwave was always looking for new things to play with.

Since it was still relatively dark and the daily workshift had yet to start, there were few bots out to witness the frightening sight of the Decepticon TIC covered in vital fluids and body parts, sporting various injuries of his own, carrying two bodies through Southern Iacon.

Soundwave made his way to the Decepticon Headquarters, ignoring the terrified glances of all he passed in favour of trying to get his broken comm. line to work without use of his servos. He'd not even realised it was broken until he'd failed to contact Headquarters.

He was reluctant to make contact with his cassettes in his current state, hoping they would not try to track him down while his emotions were locked away and he was carting around two bodies.

The guards unfortunate enough to have the night shift at the main entrance of Headquarters quickly found themselves terrified out of their sparkcases as they spotted Soundwave coming towards them.

"C-com-mander S-soundwave! D-do you req-quire a-assitance?" Ignoring the trembling guards, Soundwave strode past them, not even acknowledging their presence as he normally would have, something that, were his emotions functioning, he knew he'd feel remotely sorry for. As it was, the guards were left outside wondering what on Cybertron had just happened.

Starscream, in all his arrogant, flamboyant glory, strutted around a corner flanked by the ever gloomy Thundercracker, a prancing Skywapr, and their recently acquired mechling, all of whom stopped in the middle of the hallway out of what Soundwave assumed was shock.

Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but they'd stopped right in the middle of the hallway, and Soundwave was not in an accommodating mood.

"Suggestion. Move." Skywarp flinched at the undisguised malice and quickly drew to the side of the hall with Radial and Thundercracker. Starscream, optics flitting about Soundwave's frame, carefully noticing everything and putting the information away for later consideration, nodded carefully before stepping aside.

Soundwave barely waited for him to move before shouldering by him and heading to Megatron's meeting room. It was attached to his office, and Soundwave knew that if he wasn't recharging he'd be there.

There were no guards outside the door to Megatron's meeting room, as usual. When once asked why he'd dismantled the mech foolish enough to have asked, all the while explaining that if his door was any different than the others it would be more obvious than painting "Megatron's Office" in neon lettering across the door, and that much easier for his enemies to find him.

That explanation, mind you, was given during the early stages of the war. Back when he actually had enemies that hired assassins and the like. Now Megatron did not have guards because he simply didn't like the idea of his bots wasting their time standing outside a door when he was perfectly capable of defending himself. He figured if he couldn't take down the incompetent intruders that he now had to deal with then a couple of mere guards certainly wouldn't be able to either.

Managing to reign in his irritation over his encounter with Starscream and the mech's blatant curiosity, Soundwave calmly dropped the offline body in order to knock on the door. He grimaced in distaste at the state his servos were in, watching with morbid fascination as the congealed energon slowly slid off the cables in his digit when he flexed them.

The door hissed open, and Megatron started in obvious surprise at the state of the mech before him. His optics widened as he stared at Soundwave, his blatant disbelief more than evident in his posture and expression.

"Soundwave," Megatron looked unsure of how exactly to proceed, glancing down at the charred, grey body on the floor and the dull, violet one on his shoulder with confusion. "I thought you were repairing a camera?" His tone indicated that he had absolutely no idea what could have possibly happened to have this result, and he gesture Soundwave through the door. Stooping to pick up the offline frame, Soundwave made his way into his Lord's meeting room.

Normally he would respectfully wait for Megatron to ask what had happened before giving a full report, but he figured Megatron's slightly rhetorical statement/inquiry was good enough.

So he explained everything. How he'd been repairing the camera, how he'd noticed it'd obviously been sabotaged. He mentioned the shadows he'd seen, and how they didn't appear on any of his scanners. He told of the fight, not bothering to go into much detail since the end result was rather obvious. Megatron asked few questions, and listened intently throughout Soundwave's report. Once Soundwave had finished, Megatron called the Combaticons to the meeting room, his frighteningly calm voice stopping any protests.

In the time it took the Combaticons to arrive neither Soundwave nor Megatron said anything, the former content with the silence, and the latter busy mulling over all that he'd been told.

A loud knock signalled the arrival of the Combaticons, and they all filled in quietly, somehow sensing that this was not the time for joking around. They were obviously surprised at the scene that greeted them, what with Megatron appearing to be the one deep in though with Soundwave covered in gore and injuries, it looked to them as if their commanders had swapped bodies. Wisely not saying anything along the lines of what they were thinking, they Combaticons waited for their orders.

"Blastoff, Brawl, take the offline frame to Shockwave. Onslaught, Vortex, take the femme to the solitary cells in the brig, and make sure she stays there until Soundwave, Starscream or I come down. Swindle, inform Hook that Soundwave will be arriving shortly." The Combaticons all bowed respectfully to Megatron before heading off to complete their assigned tasks. Blastoff and Vortex took their temporary charges from Soundwave with no small amount of trepidation, undoubtedly afraid of the frightening figure the TIC currently was. Not that he was ever really not frightening, now he was merely exponentially more so that ever before.

Once the Combaticons had left Megatron focused on Soudnwave, looking for some kind of answer to all the questions he now had. "What do you think, Soundwave?"

Unsure of what was being asked of himself, Soundwave stayed quiet. Patiently waiting for Megatron to gather his thoughts.

"Do you have any idea what brought this on? Why it seems to be just you and your cassettes that are being targeted?" For that, Soundwave had no answer.

He didn't need one. All he knew was that when he found whoever was responsible for what was happening to him and his cassettes, he'd very much enjoy having a long discussion with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angry Soundwave was surprisingly fun and easy to write. Perhaps that's a bad thing.
> 
> Comments? Critiques? Favourite/Hated moments? Blatant (or not so blatant) things that don't add up? (I try to avoid those, but sometimes I miss them)


	13. Abandoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor TF:Animated Soundwave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is kind of depressing.

He was alone, having sent his companions out to find a new hiding place, and, maybe, another Cybertronian left on this world like him.

Why his master had abandoned him, he didn't know. All he knew was that he had failed, and then everyone had left.

He supposed it was punishment for failing to please his master, but, having never met his master faceplate to faceplate, he didn't know for sure.

His master had given him life. He'd come online knowing what his purpose was and whom he served. He'd tried to achieve the directive to the best of his abilities, but it hadn't been enough. That accursed techno-organic femme and her ridiculous allies had made a fool of him. Luckily one of his companions had managed to carry him away before the femme's allies could get him.

Now he was alone but for his companions on this isolated world.

Forgotten.

He didn't know what to do.

His knowledge was limited by what he could learn on this world, and by what his master had taught him.

All he knew was there was a planet out there that he should be trying to get to; he knew not where it was, or even what it was called, only that it would be a far better home than this one.

Unfortunately he had no way of acquiring the Knowledge necessary to get there without being assaulted by the native life forms of this world, and considering the nature of his directive and how close he'd come to achieving it, he doubted that was likely to change any time soon.

So he remained, constantly searching for energy and new places to hide.

Abandoned.


	14. Blue Laser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laserbeak, meet Bluestreak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This relationship is first brought up in Laserbeak's Post War Trial short. I'm kind of fond of it.  
> If you care to notice specifics, a bot (small 'b') refers to any Cybertronian, and a Bot (big 'B') refers to an Autobot.  
> "Spoken Cybertronian"  
> [name]:bond talk:

It was a routine infiltration. In through the vents. Wander around gathering information. Remain undetected. Get out and report back to Soundwave and Megatron.

That was it.

That was all she had to do.

Unfortunately, nothing was ever that easy.

She'd been floating through the ventilation system, not concerned with gathering information after sitting in on the weekly officer's meeting, when she heard it.

Crying.

It was hard to hear over the humming of the fans and talking Autobots, but Laserbeak had audios designed for picking up conversations three rooms away through blast doors. She followed the crying without much trouble, and paused above what appeared to be somebot's room.

Peering down through the ventilation grate into a dark room, Laserbeak managed to make out the faint shape of an Autobot curled up on his berth. Every few clicks his shoulders would shudder and a muffled sob would echo around the room.

Not quite sure what to do, Laserbeak looked down at the Autobot for several breems.

What should she do? Never before had she been in such a situation. Should she... comfort the Autobot?

[Soundwave]: Laserbeak. Status?

Startled out of her conflicted thoughts Laserbeak almost gave away her cover, but she quickly backed away from the sobbing Autobot and headed towards the Ark's exit.

[Laserbeak]: Mission complete. En route now.

[Soundwave]: Confirmed. Will await your arrival. Stay safe.

Smiling a bit at her creator's concern, Laserbeak stealthily made her way out of the Ark and headed back to the Nemesis, doing her best to put the incident with that Autobot out of her processor.

-_-A While Later-_-

Since that one strange mission Laserbeak had not been near that Autobot's quarters again, nor had she heard him crying.

This time, she was at the Ark to try out one of Megatron's newest strategies. She would infiltrate the Ark during a battle, and watch how the Autobots operated post-battle. After identifying all the key mechs, she would report back and those mechs would become primary targets. She would continue doing this until either the plan worked and the Autobots were defeated, or until Megatron came up with something else and scrapped the current plan.

She was lurking in the vents above the med-bay when all the Autobots started piling in. The medic, (was it Hatchet?) started shouting orders and the injured were quickly sorted. Most of the Bots weren't too injured, and were sent into the hallway to wait.

The more seriously injured Bots were all in the med-bay being repaired. Laserbeak watched the medic and flashy-helmed mech as they worked together to quickly stabilize the worst of the injuries and move them to berths in the far corners of the room, presumably so they wouldn't get in the way. Once moved, another mech was called in, assessed, and repaired. If his injuries were too serious, he'd be put in stasis and moved to the back of the med-bay (once stabilized) with the others, if not, the damage was efficiently repaired and he was sent out.

Laserbeak watched this going on for several joors before deciding to see what the other Autobots were doing.

Skulking through the vents Laserbeak managed to locate and observe almost every single Autobot that she knew wasn't still in the med-bay.

The Prime was still pacing in his room.

The SIC and TIC were both going over the battle.

The recently repaired/not too damaged Bots were wandering the Ark or chatting in the rec room.

The Dinobots were in their cavernous rooms, complaining about always being left out.

Laserbeak decided not to think of what was most likely going on aboard the Nemesis, seeing as the Autobots appeared to have won the battle.

One Autobot seemed to be acting strangely, and she'd seen him all around the Ark.

He was mostly grey, had two doorwings, a red chevron, and was currently muttering to himself while wandering around the rarely used sectors of the Ark.

Laserbeak followed him, wondering if he was secretly some kind of mastermind that was muttering plans to destroy her faction, when he started heading towards the soldier's quarters. His muttering hardly slowed as he stopped before a door and punched in the entry code.

As soon as the door closed the Autobot collapsed and cradled his helm in his hands.

Laserbeak looked around in surprise, recognizing the room the Autobot had entered. Was this the Autobot she'd seen weeping all those cycles ago?

Slowly she backed away, still unsure of the conflicting emotions that arose whenever she saw the Autobot like this.

-_-Time Passes-_-

For some reason, after seeing that Autobot break down again, Laserbeak became determined to find out what she could about him.

In addition to her usual information gathering Laserbeak watched this Autobot interact with the others. She wanted to get a sense of who he was before even considering doing anything stupid... like talk to the poor thing.

He was the best sniper on the Ark, possibly in the entire Autobot armada.

Everybody seemed to like him.

His designation was Bluestreak, and Laserbeak, once looked up what the frag a blue-streak was, found it to be a very suitable name.

Bluestreak did indeed talk up a blue-streak.

Not many mechs seemd to recognize the coping technique for what it was, but Laserbeak did. She understood all too well the things the war did to bots. Soundwave did his best to protect her and her siblings from the worst of it, but they still saw things on missions. Horrible things. Things that would often result in them spending the next few cycles huddled next to Soundwave. It was like Rumble and Frenzy with their pranks and foolishness. They needed something to occupy their processors so they wouldn't think about all the horrible things they'd done and seen, and it was the same for Bluestreak with his incessant talking.

This poor Autobot seemed young. It was doubtful he had anyone as close to him as Soundwave was to Laserbeak and her siblings. What horrors had this Autobot seen? Did he have anyone to help him?

This went on for some time. She would come to the Ark and observe, making sure to get enough information to keep Megatron happy, but if she had time she would watch Bluestreak.

She felt more and more sorry for the poor mech with every visit.

She was sitting in the vent above his room, watching him clean his rifle, when a loud boom echoed throughout the base, and the Ark shuddered with the force of the explosion.

"Nobody panic. We are not under attack. One of Wheeljack's experiments went awry again. Would the emergency response team please report to Wheeljack's lab. Thank you."

Unfortunately, the unexpected explosion knocked Laserbeak off balance, and she fell onto the grate. The grate was not designed to bear such weight, and collapsed, dropping her to the floor of the Autobot's room with a sharp crack.

The Autobot sat up quickly and turned to look at Laserbeak. Their optics locked, and for a breem neither of them moved.

Then the Autobot whipped out another large rifle and pointed it at Laserbeak's chassis, and for the first time in a while, she was scared.

"What are you doing here? Why are you here? Nevermind. I know what you're doing here. Spying, aren't you? What else would one of Soundwave's drones be doing in the Ark? You're gathering information on us all so you can offline us while we recharge! I should shoot you. I could. I'm the best sniper on the Ark. You know. I really should shoot you. For spying. Were you-" The Autobot paused his startlingly long tirade to glare at Laserbeak, "-were you spying on me?"

The Autobot strode across the room and grabbed Laserbeak by the neck before she could escape, pinning her to the floor. "How much did you see? Are you going to tell anyone?"

Laserbeak managed to let out a weak croak, and the Autobot loosened his grip.

"Answer me." Laserbeak looked up into the icy optics of this strange Autobot, and saw fear. It was hard to see, but it was there. All of Laserbeak's fear drained out of her. Poor Autobot.

"No." The Autobot looked surprised by her firm statement, and his grip loosened even more.

Almost frantically cycling air Laserbeak calmly looked the Autobot in the optics, "I will not tell anyone of what I saw if you do not want me to." If she was going to tell anyone, she'd have done it the first time she saw the Autobot's weakness.

"Why not?" The Bot's suspicious voice brought her back to the reality of her situation.

"My superiors do not need to know." Looking surprised by her simple, but obviously truthful answer, the Autobot sat back on his pedes.

Getting up from her position on the floor, Laserbeak looked up at the Autobot. He seemed fine now, but who knew what he was hiding.

They sat there.

Doing nothing.

For who knows how long.

Bluestreak simply stared at her, expression blank, for several breems. Laserbeak struggled not to fidget, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was making her uncomfortable.

Then a siren went off.

"All on duty Autobots report to the entrance of the Ark. Repeat. All on duty Autobots report to the entrance of the Ark."

Bluestreak looked to the door of his room, and Laserbeak activated her thrusters and shot up into the ventilation system. She heard Bluestreak shout something, but she was too far away to make out what he was saying.

She made her way through the vents as quickly as she could while still being quiet, and carefully surveyed the entrance of the Ark through a ventilation grate.

There were Autobots everywhere.

As she was sitting there, contemplating her situation, Optimus Prime himself came out with the SIC and TIC at his sides.

"Autobots, you know the situation. Prowl will brief you on the way there. Roll out!"

Ah, so that was the infamous Prowl. Laserbeak watched the black and white doorwinged mech as he sped off with the rest of the Autobots. He's the one nobody seemed to like.

Laserbeak smiled to herself. If only they knew how much Starscream hated him for always foiling his plans, and for making him look like a fool. If it weren't for Prowl, Starscream would be far more respected, and chances are the Decepticons would be exponentially more successful than they were now.

Her optics roved over they convoy as it got smaller and smaller, and she managed to pick out Bluestreak. He was right behind those two Jet-Judo-ing twins. The ones all of the seekers despised. He seemed to be friends with those two, somehow.

[Soundwave]: Laserbeak. Status?:

A quick glance and scan confirmed she was alone.

[Laserbeak]: Watching the Autobots leave the Ark.:

There was a pause, and Laserbeak could imagine Megatron's glee.

They would finally be putting his master plan into action.

After cycles of gathering information, Megatron had finally decided to begin what he called "The Autobot's Destruction and Annihilation (version? ... in the millions)".

[Soundwave]: Orders. Remain at Ark. Watch aftermath. Monitor Autobot response to absence of key mechs.:

[Laserbeak]: Orders confirmed.:

So she waited. She knew that the Autobots left to guard the Ark would be anxiously pacing, fidgeting, listening to the battle, or preparing for the return of their comrades.

Laserbeak stayed above the entrance of the Ark so that, when the Autobots that'd fought returned, she'd be able to see who had been injured and if the plan was working.

She quietly contemplated checking on her siblings through their bond, just to make sure they were alright.

Cautiously she felt around-

-and was met with a wave of agony.

She almost screeched at the pain now flowing through the bond.

Struggling, she managed to replace her block and nearly sighed in relief once it was firmly in place.

Desperate to know who'd been injured, but not willing to risk distracting anyone when the battle could still be going on, Laserbeak waited for the Autobots to return in tense silence.

Eventually the sound of engines could be heard, and Skyfire came in, hurriedly landing at the Ark's entrance. Laserbeak heard a voice giving orders, but it didn't sound like Ratchet.

Sure enough, it was the Prime himself giving orders, despite the fact that he only had one arm.

As Laserbeak watched; Prowl, the TIC, and Ratchet, were removed carefully but quickly from Skyfire and rushed in the direction of the medbay.

Laserbeak followed through the vents, processor split between wanting to see how successful the master plan had been so far and who the Decepticons should target next, and wanting to check in on her siblings to make sure they were alright.

Laserbeak paused in one of the vents and took a rare moment to let her emotions wash over her.

The fear for her family.

The pain of not knowing if everyone was alright.

The overwhelming worry that it was somehow her fault.

She should have been there, fighting with her faction. Not wasting time on the Ark.

Slowly she managed to reign her emotions in, and with a deep intake, Laserbeak managed to force herself to move on towards the medbay. She had a mission. Her siblings may have gotten seriously injured for this mission. She was not going to let them down because of her ridiculous emotions.

Laserbeak recorded the Autobots hurrying about the med-bay, far less organized and more concerned than they'd been when Ratchet was functional, with a grim satisfaction. The mech with flashing helm-fins was steadily repairing Prowl, his white paintjob spattered in energon and other vital fluids. The little yellow minbot, Stumblebee perhaps, was doing his best to repair the TIC. The green one, the one always bringing random creatures aboard the Ark, was repairing Ratchet.

Pulling up the files she'd managed to download from Teletraan-1 on the green mech and Stumblebot, Laserbeak was surprised to see that they were both Special-Ops mechs. Briefly wondering why there weren't any Decepticons specifically designated and trained as Special-Operations bots, Laserbeak glanced about the medbay once more before making her way to the hall just outside the med-bay.

Sure enough, there was quite a line of mechs waiting to receive medical treatment. It seemed as though evey mech that'd gone to the battle had received some kind of injury. Most of them seemed relatively minor, and there were a few mechs doing their best to put temporary patches on the worst of them.

Laserbeak filed their appearances away for later target consideration.

[Soundwave]: Laserbeak. Report ready?:

Megatron must be in a bad mood, asking for a report so soon after the battle.

[Laserbeak]: Observations made and recorded. Report. Not yet written.:

Laserbeak started organizing the recordings she'd made and attaching notes for Soundwave, and was quickly finished. It was sloppy, and not of the quality that she usually turned in, but Soundwave usually edited her reports before sending them to Megatron regardless.

[Laserbeak]: Report. Sent. Status. Not as nice as normal due to lack of time. Apologies.:

[Soundwave]: Report received.:

Laserbeak prodded him cautiously through their bond.

[Laserbeak]: Everyone... alright?:

She felt Soundwave tense, and panic gripped her spark.

They had to be alright.

She hadn't felt any of her siblings go offline.

They had to be okay.

[Soundwave]: Status. Ravage. Functional. Rumble and Frenzy. Minor injuries. Buzzsaw. Damaged wing. Ratbat. Severely injured.:

No.

Not Ratbat.

Everyone else's injuries were standard for a confrontation with the Autobots.

But Ratbat's?

Though they'd never admit it, all of her siblings (herself and Soundwave included) were fiercely protective of their youngest family member. He was perhaps the most innocent Decepticon in the entire faction, and they all did their best to make sure he had a half descent upbringing, despite the war.

Laserbeak felt cold, impassionate rage steal over her.

[Laserbeak]: Who? Why? I can deal with them. They wont see it coming.

They will know what it means to try offlining one of Soundwave's cassettes.

[Soundwave]: Grey Praxian sniper. Designation. Bluestreak.:

Laserbeak's thoughts of sabotage and torture screeched to a halt.

Bluestreak?

He'd done this?

Conflicting emotions clouded her processor, and Laserbeak struggled to hide them from Soundwave.

[Laserbeak]: Target received. Orders?:

[Soundwave]: Suggest. Laserbeak deal with mech as she wishes. Ratbat. Requires repairs. Laserbeak. Will return to Nemesis when finished.:

Soundwave withdrew, and Laserbeak was left, sitting in the vents, wondering what the frag had just happened.

Soundwave was leaving her to her own devices aboard the Ark?

He always had a mission. Some kind of agenda. Always. That's why he's the TIC.

He was probably just concerned about Ratbat. That had to be it.

Quickly making her way to Bluestreak's room, Laserbeak settled down to wait. She thought of all the things she could do. All the ways she could hurt him. Such things were usually left to Rumble and Frenzy, but she could do a considerable amount of damage when she put her processor to it. She could break him. She'd watched him enough to know exactly how to do it, too.

It wasn't until the door slid open and Bluestreak actually stumbled in and collapsed on his berth with a shudder and quiet sob that Laserbeak realized she would never be able to do any of the vindictive things she was thinking of.

After waiting a click to make sure no other Autobots were close enough to hear, Laserbeak quietly descended from the vents, taking care to be silent.

However, her efforts were wasted when Bluestreak slowly sat up and leaned back against a wall. His optics alighted on her, and despite his exhaustion and unstable emotions Bluestreak managed to whip out his precious rifle and focus on Laserbeak.

"What do you want Birdy?"

As if that was the magic phrase, a wave of indignation and anger flowed through Laserbeak, and before she could stop herself she'd hopped onto the edge of Bluestreak's berth and was screeching at him.

"What do I want? What do I want? How about some remorse? Some sorrow, or regret? You seem to have enough of it for yourself, but when you shoot a mechling vorns younger than yourself out of the sky and greviously injure him all you can ask when you see his sister is what do you want? I want to see you, a Primus-fragging Autobot, show some of that compassion everyone seems to think is a trait all Autobots are sparked with. You ignorant, selfish, conceited, self-absorbed retard! What the frag do you think I want!?

Bristling with rage and indignation, Laserbeak glowered at Bluestreak who, for his part, looked beyond shocked.

"Nothing to say for youself?" She could feel her optics getting darker in anger.

His mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. Bluestreak, the mech that never shut up, was speechless. Laserbeak had a feeling that if the situation were different, she'd find it amusing, but all she felt was contempt. Bluestreak was just another Autobot. He could preach freedom and kindness all cycle, every cycle, but when it came down to it, he'd offline a Con without a second thought just like the others.

"Bluestreak?" Laserbeak glared at the door, and the nosy Autobot on the other side, entirely fed up with Autobots in general.

"You alright Blue? I thought I heard shouting." Snorting in contempt, Laserbeak shot a parting glare at Bluestreak before flying out through the vent. She wouldn't physically harm him, that would give away her presence, but she would leave him with her anger. Let him have nightmares about that.

-_- More Time Passes-_-

She hadn't been sent back to the Ark since she'd yelled at Bluestreak, something she wasn't entirely sure she was grateful for. Laserbeak had almost forgotten how horrible it was aboard the Nemesis, trapped underwater in close quarters with the other Decepticons. She spent most of her time spying on everyone through the ventilation system of the Nemesis and collecting blackmail material. She still wasn't sure why the Nemesis had a ventilation system, but it was the best way to get around while avoiding all the larger, less stable Decepticons.

Because of the space, or rather, lack of space, in the vents, Laserbeak and her siblings were the only bots other than the Reflector components that could fit even reasonably comfortably.

Or so she thought.

One cycle, as she was wandering through the vents on the lower levels (these levels were often flooded and thus rarely used) she heard a splash.

Normally this wouldn't be a concern, but after the splash she heard an engine rumble angrily, and engine she recognized from her time on the Ark.

Carefully stretching her sensors out in the direction of the splash she quickly detected multiple energy signatures and immediately informed Soundwave.

[Laserbeak]: Unknown energy signatures detected on lower levels. Autobot Sunstreaker identified. Moving in to confirm other identities.:

[Soundwave]: Understood. Proceed carefully.:

Creeping quietly along the vents, Laserbeak managed to get within optic range of the intruders. Looking down through a grate she saw Sunstreaker, almost waist deep in the murky ocean water and radiating fury; Sideswipe, poking a discoloured patch on the wall; Jazz, looking around with a frown; and Bluestreak, almost vibrating with nervous energy.

[Laserbeak]: Four Autobots sighted. Designations Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Jazz, and Blustreak. Possibly more aboard. Orders?:

Just then Laserbeak heard something shuffling in the vent ahead of her, and looked up to see Stumblebee round a bend in the vents. He noticed her, and stopped in shock. While tapping comm. lines was Buzzsaw's speciality, she could still detect them at close range, and as soon as she felt one open between Stumblebee and Jazz she started backing up, hoping to reach a branch in the vents before one of the Bots started shooting at her.

She heard Jazz swear and a shot ripped through space in front of her, and she looked up to see Stumblebee pull out a blaster. Quickly running out of options, Laserbeak shot at the vents just in front of Stumblebee as a warning before taking off down a side vent.

[Soundwave]: Decepticons en route. Status?:

The bottom of the vents in front of Laserbeak were ripped away and black servos attached to red arms blocked the way forwards.

Fragging Sideswipe.

Desperately backpedaling, Laserbeak tried to avoid the waiting servos, but merely managed to slow down enough that the impact didn't hurt.

The servos quickly grabbed her and pulled her through the hole in the vents, and she hissed as her wing caught on the rough edges of the ragged hole.

A blaster was shoved into her faceplates, and she felt Soundwave's muted panic through their bond as he accessed her optics via her surveillance programming.

[Soundwave]: Laserbeak!

"So, Beaky, thought you could get away with spying on us, did you?" Sideswipe sounded smug.

For some reason, Laserbeak decided to throw caution to the pit. Fragging Autobots were always messing everything up. All she'd wanted was some peace and quite, and instead she got captured in her own fragging base.

[Laserbeak]: Will stall Autobots. Worry not.

"Yes. Please accept my most sincere apologies for happening upon you and your comrades while you were slinking about the Decepticon base."

She felt Soundwave's shock, knowing he hadn't expected her to ever reveal the fact she could speak to the Autobots, or for her to be so blatantly angry.

The servos around her loosened their grip.

"What?" She felt her frustration spike at the obviously confused inquiry. What was it with Autobots and their lack of comprehension abilities? Was she not speaking Standard Cybertronian!?

"You know, I would have thought that the Autobots would send a quieter group to infiltrate out base. You lot stand out quite a bit against the walls, not to mention the fact that tall, bright, and obnoxiously yellow obviously doesn't want to be here." She heard snort of muffled laughter from behind her, and the blaster was moved enough that she could see Sunstreaker's furious expression, and Bluestreak's frantic motions for her to shut up.

"Obnoxiously yellow?" Oh Primus, if she weren't so slagged off Laserbeak thought she might have actually been scared.

"Yes. Your paint hurts my processor, especially when you're on the Nemesis where, as you can see, everything is purple. On the Ark, your paint may be less noticeable because the walls are optic-watering orange and you fit right in, but here on the Nemesis your lack of taste is blatantly obvious. I'd have thought an artist such as yourself would know that bright yellow and dark purple don't go well together, but apparently I was mistaken."

She expected rage, swinging fists, sudden pain, anything but the hysterical laughter that assaulted her audios.

She looked over at Jazz in astonishment, completely taken aback by his reaction.

She looked up at Sideswipe in confusion, for a moment united by their common confusion, "What did I say?"

He looked down at her, equally puzzled, and shrugged his shoulders.

Sunstreaker, who had, for a moment, looked completely dumbfounded and furious, was now watching Jazz with trepidation.

"Um... guys?" Everyone turned to stare at Bluestreak, and he fidgeted, obviously uncomfortable with the sudden attention. Everyone except, apparently, Jazz, who'd moved to lean against a wall to support himself while he laughed.

Bluestreak flashed a worried glance at Laserbeak, "Maybe we should get out of here."

"But we just got here!" Bluestreak flinched at Sunstreaker's shout, and Laserbeak ruthlessly suppressed the sympathy that welled up.

He continued on despite the yellow twin's obvious disapproval, "Yeah, but we got Laserbeak. That means Soundwave knows we're here, and if Soundwave knows-"

-an angry shout echoed around the hall-

"-everyone knows," Blustreak finished grimly.

A loud splash had everyone whirling about, only to see Stumblebee straining to keep his helm completely above the water level. "Hey guys," he said sheepishly, "Blue's right. We gotta go."

Finally having stopped laughing, Jazz shoved himself off the wall, "Right, you heard Bumblebee, we'd better split."

Laserbeak filed the yellow minibot's actual designation in her memory banks.

Sunstreaker glared at Laserbeak, "What about the bird?"

Jazz looked thoughtfully at Laserbeak before nodding decisively, "We take her with us."

What? No.

Bluestreak looked like he was about to say something, but Laserbeak bit one of Sideswipe's servos and he reflexively dropped her. She landed in the water with a splash and immediately activated her thrusters, shooting away from the group of Autobots right as the Conehead Trine slid into sight.

She didn't pause as the sounds of blaster-fire echoed through the water, she didn't pause when she heard the shouts of pain coming from the hallway behind her, she just focused on getting away.

-_-Yet Another Transition-_-

Megatron had, to say the least, not been pleased that the Autobots had not only infiltrated the Nemesis, but that the Decepticons hadn't been made aware of the nefarious act until Laserbeak stumbled upon them.

Megatron had blamed Soundwave at first, security did fall under his job parameters, but then Soundwave pointed out the obvious disrepair that section of the Nemesis and how it would be almost impossible to place cameras when there was ocean water flooding the halls and wildlife living there. Thus, the blame fell on Starscream, who was responsible for the upkeep of the base. One shouting match later and the bottom levels of the Nemesis were being cleaned and repaired by everyone that could be spared.

The Autobots had gotten away. Laserbeak wasn't sure how she felt about that, but she didn't have time to think about it because Megatron wanted to know what was happening on the Ark and she was (obviously) the one sent to spy on the Bots.

The Master Plan had, for some unfathomable reason, been scrapped. Laserbeak made her way into the Ark's ventilation system undetected and began her routine surveillance, not really worried about being discovered.

She was deep within the Ark when everything started to shake, but Laserbeak didn't even pause. She expected it to be just another of Wheeljack's inventions gone wrong, but when the Ark continued to shake and the alarm started screaming away, she knew she had to get out.

She waited until the Dinobots all piled out before making a break for it, only slightly concerned. Then the speakers crackled to life, "Attention all Autobots. Please exit the Ark. There has been a minor earthquake and it appears to have destabilized something. Please exit the Ark."

Oh slag. Laserbeak quickly flew through the vents, how was she supposed to get out of the Ark with all the Autobots undoubtedly waiting right outside the entrance?

The vent ahead of her buckled, cutting her off, and Laserbeak quickly dove through a grate.

Right into the hallway outside the soldier's quarters.

One of the doors hissed open ahead of her, and she froze. When Bluestreak stepped out carrying a pile of datapads Laserbeak almost sighed in relief. Not only was she marginally sure he wouldn't shoot her, but his servos were full of datapads he considered important enough to save.

Then he subspaced them, saw her, and whipped out is rifle.

This was getting repetitive.

A crack appeared in the ceiling, and they both looked at each other uncertainly before Bluestreak subspaced his rifle.

"Follow me," he gestured for her to stay behind him and took off down the hallway. No really knowing what else she could do, Laserbeak did as he said and hoped that when they got outside the Autobots wouldn't shoot her if Bluestreak was in front of her.

A large piece of the ceiling fell onto the ground in front of Bluestreak, but he simply vaulted over it. Laserbeak did her best to keep from hitting the walls and ceiling as they made their way to the Ark's entrance. Then Bluestreak stopped, and Laserbeak barely managed to stop before running into him.

"Transform." He looked down at her, as if he expected her to follow such an compromising order without question.

Despite the fact that the Ark was still shaking and the floor was covered in bits of debris, she took the time to glare at him. "Why?"

He looked in the direction of the Ark with worry, "I can subspace you and none of the Autobots will know and then I can let you out once I'm alone."

That was a very stupid plan.

A large crack echoed around the hallway and a piece of the ceiling landed next to her.

Of course it was her only option.

She looked Bluestreak in the optics, hoping that her look conveyed how much she disliked his plan and how much she was trusting him before she quickly transformed. He grabbed her, and with a flick of his wrist everything went black.

-_-Not Too Long Later-_-

All of her sensors protested as they were simultaneously overwhelmed by data streaming in.

[Soundwave]: Laserbeak! Status!?

She managed to sort all the data and looked around in confusion. Where was she?

[Laserbeak]: I'm fine.:

She appeared to be in a large clearing. Startlingly large trees bordered the small space she found herself in, and moss covered the ground. As she looked around, she saw Bluestreak sitting back against one of the wider looking trees, staring at her.

[Soundwave]: Define fine.:

[Laserbeak]: Fully functional.:

"Why did I do that?" Laserbeak didn't know how to answer his confused inquiry, so she remained silent.

"I helped you, a Decepticon, get out of the Ark, past all of my comrades, when you had obviously been spying on us. What is wrong with me?" Laserbeak frowned at that last part.

"Nothing is wrong with you." Why would something be wrong with him?

"But I helped you!" He sounded genuinely distressed at this admission.

Laserbeak hopped over to him. "Do you regret saving me?"

"No." The answer, immediate and firm, seemed to surprise him. "I don't regret it." He said more softly, looking away from her.

Laserbeak carefully hopped onto his pede, "Why not?"

Looking down at her in surprise, Bluestreak paused before answering, as if debating something internally, "You- You're not-" he frowned down at her, "-you're not what I thought you were."

She frowned right back, "What's that supposed to mean?"

He stared pensively at her, "You're not a drone."

She huffed and looked away. That really didn't help.

He was still staring at her. "Everyone always calls you and your... siblings? 'Soundwave's drone's,' but you're not. You're like, his creations or something, aren't you? You called Ratbat your sibling. The only other siblings I know are Sides and Sunny, and they're really close. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, having to fight so much and all. And you have so many siblings to worry about too! There're... what... five siblings for you? And Soundwave? Who happens to be the TIC and Chief Communication Officer of the entire Decepticon Armada? And has always been a huge target? That must be awful."

He paused, frowning thoughtfully, "How old are you? I mean, were you created before the war started?"

Still reeling from Bluestreak's remarkably thoughtful observations, Laserbeak took a moment to gather her thoughts. Should she tell him the truth? Yes, he already knew more than any other Cybertronian currently online (outside their family), but should she give him more information?

He gave her a small smile, as if sensing her thoughts, "I won't tell," he said, sounding very sincere, "if I was going to hurt you I'd have left you on the Ark."

Grimacing at the reminder Laserbeak shuffled nervously, not sure how she felt now that she owed an Autobot. "I was sparked after the fall of Polyhex." She flinched at Bluestreak's surprised gasp, what would he do now? Would he turn her over to the Autobots and tell them she was barely more than a sparkling? That she couldn't be trusted to make her own decisions because she was too young? That Soundwave was an unfit creator and she couldn't see him again?

"Do you- I mean- does Soundwave ever, you know, tell you about before the war?" She looked up at him in surprise. Where was the horror? The distain? The anger?

He smiled sadly down at her, "I figure you're about as safe as you can possibly get with Soundwave, he's a strong mech and seems to have Megatron's favour, I won't tell. I wouldn't want you to be stuck with us 'Bots, you'd hate it. And... since you'd be kind of defecting there'd be a lot of problems and stuff you'd have to go through... You're better off where you are." Bluestreak fiddles with a small branch for a moment, looking pensive. "Do you want me to tell you about Before the War?"

Soundwave hardly ever spoke of the time Before the Great War, and while Ravage occasionally made a wistful comment, and she'd managed to hack the history files once, that was about it.

She looked nervously up at Bluestreak. "I'd like that. Nobody ever talks about it on the Nemesis. Megatron doesn't like it, and not many mechs are willing to talk to us because they think we report everything back to Soundwave, who reports back to Megatron."

He grabbed something out of his subspace and held it before her, pushing a small button on it's side. An image appeared above it. There was a femme and a mech standing on what looked like a balcony overlooking a beautiful city. There was a small youngling hugging the pedes of the femme, and everyone was smiling at each other.

It was the happiest Laserbeak had ever seen anyone in her existence.

"This is me and my creators, we were vising friends, they were the one that took this." Bluestreak took a deep intake, servo flexing around the image display, "this was the cycle before the bombings," he said quietly.

Laserbeak open her mouth to say something, anything, to help Bluestreak, but then she felt several someones shove through the blocks on her bond.

[Rumble]: Where the frag are you!? You disappear for a few joors and all you tell us is that you're "fully functional!?" What the frag Beaky!?:

[Frenzy]: You'd better get your aft back to the Nemesis this fragging instant Beaky!:

Laserbeak could feel guilt welling up. Here she was, playing nice with an Autobot, while her family was worrying about her. Carefully hiding her emotions from Rumble and Frenzy, she looked up at Bluestreak. "I have to go." She didn't want to leave him alone here, not after he'd helped her and been so nice to her.

[Laserbeak]: En route.:

He laughed a bit, "I guess your family wants you to come back."

She grimaced, "More like demanded, with a lot more profanity."

He ruefully shook his helm, "Sounds like something Sides or Sunny would do to each other." Then he hesitated, "Do you- I mean- Do you want to meet up? Later? It can be closer to the Nemesis, but it'd be nice to talk to you again. I cold tell you about Cybertron. Show you some more images. It's nice, to not have to worry about you making fun of me or anything, or telling the other Autobots."

What? Bluestreak wanted to talk to her? She'd never had anything like this happen to her before. "I think that would be alright. I'll contact you, okay?"

Relief crossed his face, "Alright. I know you know where my room is, so you can always drop by. Just make sure I'm alone first."

She snorted, "As if I'd just drop in when another Autobot was there. That woulbe be one of the dumbest things I could possibly do. 'Oh hello Autobot, I'd like to talk to Bluestreak, so if you don't mind, there's the door." She stopped, hoping she hadn't just accidentally insulted Bluestreak, but she needn't have worried.

He was laughing. "Primus, what I wouldn't give to see that actually happen. I bet the Bot's face would be priceless!"

She laughed at that image too, before hopping off of Bluestreak onto the grass. "I'd better go. I said I was heading towards the Nemesis already."

[Frenzy]: You within optic range yet Beaky?:

Bluestreak rolled his optics, "From what I've seen of Rumble and Frenzy, they're definitely not the most patient of mechs."

[Laserbeak]: I'm coming, I'm coming.:

"You have no idea," she said, "and you should be extremely grateful for that." She took flight, pausing briefly to hover in front of Bluestreak. "Until next time." She hoped that they'd both still be online then.

He nodded, "Until next time."

She rose quickly above the trees, circling the clearing once before heading towards the Nemesis.

Primus above, what was she going to tell Soundwave?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really *get* Bluestreak, so if he's OOC feel free to let me know and I'll do my best to fix him.  
> Flames will be used to make tea.


	15. Everyday Observations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave contemplates.

I watch.

I observe.

But I never, interact.

Why would I?

My comrades are not the kind to engage in small talk or relax simply for pleasures sake.

There is always a motive.

A favour, usually.

A swapped shift.

Blackmail material.

Assistance with a punishment task.

My creations seem to have worked around this standard of interaction.

They are known to be my symbiotes, and thus under my protection.

However, they are also small enough to get into all kinds of trouble, and skilled enough to direct the evidence elsewhere.

They do not often swap favours.

They annoy everyone, and when it seems someone will finally brave retaliation, they set someone up.

Lord Megatron, never one to see the subtle things that my creations do that would condemn them, takes the bait and blames the wrong Con.

And thus my creations are temporarily safe once again.

Leaving me to watch. Observe. And never break the seemingly endless cycle that is a Decepticon's existence.


	16. Guess What Time It Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frenzy has an idea. It's not very popular.

[Soundwave]: Negative. Soundwave. Does not need a vacation. :

[Frenzy]: Come on Boss! It'll be fun! :

[Soundwave]: Soundwave. Does not require 'fun.' :

[Frenzy]: *sigh* Fine. Let's make a deal, shall we? :

[Soundwave]: Soundwave. Not promising anything. :

[Frenzy]: Bah... okay. If you can tell me the last time you had a vacation, with no hesitation, then I'll stop bothering you. :

[Soundwave]: Pre-War. Visited Blaster for Steeljaw's creation day. :

[Frenzy]: That's not a vacation! That's a day trip! And he was a business partner back then! :

[Soundwave]: Semantics. :

[Frenzy]: The deal still sands. Last vacation? :

[Soundwave]: ... :

[Frenzy]: Ha! :

[Soundwave]: Soundwave. Never agree- :

[Rumble]: You're taking a vacation, Boss. :

[Soundwave]: Decepticon cause. Priority. :

[Rumble]: Nope. Frenzy asked Megatron this morning. He said because Starscream is, and I quote, 'off doing Primus-only-knows-what with his Trine,' that you can take a vacation. He strongly recommended it, and added that you work too hard and he's worried your processor has started smoking lately. :

[Soundwave]: Lord Megatron. Said no such thing. :

[Rumble]: You want the recording? :

[Soundwave]: ... Vacation. Entitles what? :

[Frenzy]: *dances* YES! :

[Rumble]: Guys, guess what time it is? :

[Ravage]: If you say Adventure Time I'll bite you. :

[Rumble]: VACATION TIME!:

[Ravage]: ... oh goody. :

[Soundwave]: Ravage. Sentiments shared. :


	17. Commonly Colourful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's something... red... going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer. I do not have ownership of Transformers.   
> [name]:bond talk:

Why did I have sparklings?

"But creato-or," Frenzy looks up at me with a carefully crafted expression of mournful displeasure, "I don't want to go spy on the Autobots!"

It's all I can do not to just throw the little irritant out of the Nemesis and refuse to let him in.

Instead, I merely heave a quiet, obviously restrained, sigh.

"Inquiry. Why not?"

Frenzy glares at me, as if the reason should be obvious.

"It's too colourful."

Then he starts pouting.

I can only stare.

"What?"

Frenzy rolls his optics at my intelligent inquiry, an action he obviously picked up from those primitive humans.

"Everything there, _everyone_ there, has either red, orange, or yellow somewhere on them, and the exceptions make up for it by being annoying."

I'm about to tell Frenzy he's wrong when what he said actually sinks in. There are a disproportionately large amount of Autobots with those colours, and the entire Ark itself is an processor-ache inducing orange.

In fact, I look down at my paintjob, noticing the yellow that contrasts adequately with the blue, and recalling that my visor is, in fact, red, there are also a fair number of Decepticons with one of those colours somewhere on their person as well.

Strange.

At least the Decepticon sigil is purple.

I look up to see Frenzy looking at me with a raised optic ridge, no doubt wondering why I'm taking so long to respond.

"Frenzy. Will spy on Autobots." Frenzy throws his arms up in exasperation, pausing when I continue, "Frenzy. Will not be punished if some Autobots are mysteriously repainted." He looks at me with undisguised surprise and glee, "Frenzy. Must not get caught." He jumps on me and hugs me as well as he can considering our size difference, ignoring my warning in favour of leaving as soon as he can.

I sigh and walk over to my desk, accessing the Nemesis' database to look over the files of Autobots and Decepticons currently online.

As I scan them I notice that every Cybertronian with a faction has red somewhere. Red optics. Red visor. Red faction sigil.

[Frenzy]: Hey boss, I'm sending you some images of Ironhide. Guess what colour I painted him?:

I pause, starting when I realize how long I've been going through files looking for someone witout the colour red, orange, or yellow on them.

Then I sigh as Frenzy's question registers.

[Soundwave]: Frenzy. Painted Ironhide green?:

I hear the smirk in his voice.

[Frenzy]: Nope. Purple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once read a fic that mentioned this (Mirage went insane and painted everyone a different colour) and as soon as I find it again I'll credit it. However, this twist on the idea/observation is mine.
> 
> It's supposed to be funny/ironic Ironhide is purple because, as far as I can remember, there are no purple Autobots, and purple is the colour of the Decepticon insignia/sigil and thus it would be horrible for Ironhide to be painted purple.
> 
> Also, Frenzy probably used a disgusting purple, so it's even worse.


	18. Very Superstitious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was "superstitious."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying something new for this chapter.  
> Normal font is Frenzy.  
>  _Italicized font is Buzzsaw._

Poke. "Hey."

Poke. "Hey."

Poke. "He-"

_Snarl. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FRENZY?"_

Smirk. "No need to be so touchy, Buzzer."

_Glare. "Then stop poking my wings you smarmy little glitch."_

Comically hurt expression. "You wound me with your cruelty, Buzzer."

_Huff. "Yeah, right."_

_Suspicious glare. "What do you want, Frenzy?"_

Sly grin. "Do you know what day it is today?"

_Confused. "Friday?"_

Go-on gesture.

_"...a Friday in June?"_

Exasperated sigh. "Primus, Buzzsaw, you can be so thick sometimes."

_Glare. "Enlighten me, midget."_

Dramatic gesture. "Today is not only Friday, my dear buzzer, but it is Friday the Thirteenth **and** it's a full moon tonight!"

_Blank stare. "What's your point?"_

Deflate. "How are we related? Seriously?"

_Snort. "As if you don't know, midget."_

Pout. "Not a midget."

_Optic roll. "Keep telling yourself that."_

Haughty expression. "Maybe I will."

...

Unamused glare. "Stop distracting me."

_Disdainful wing flick. "It's not that hard."_

Twitch. "So, you gonna help me prank some fleshies or not?"

_Pause. "What?"_

Full-frame sigh. "It's Friday the Thirteenth Buzzsaw! All the superstitious fleshies are practically primed for pranking!"

_Thoughtful expression. "Your ability to alliterate is outstanding."_

_Cruel smirk. "Now go away."_

Pitiful expression. "But Buzzsaw-"

_Wince. "Your high-pitched wining will not endear me to you."_

Sigh. "Fine. I'll go ask Ravage."

_Choked laughter. "Good luck with that."_

Lightbulb expression. "Holy Primus. Ravage is a giant black cat."

_Uncomprehending stare. "So...?"_

Gleeful laughter. "So! If I can get Ravage to help me... the possibilities are **endless!"**

_Sigh. "Primus help us all."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> Sorry for any and all grammatical errors.


	19. Unexpected Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave makes an unexpected friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all you mature people, it's not _that_ kind of bonding.

Soundwave wasn't quite sure how he got to be here, sitting with the Second in Command of the Autobot Faction, Prowl, and drinking copious amounts of highgrade around a rather large fire in the middle of a forest at night.

"-nd then Wheeljack, Wheeljack, gets mad and starts chasing the twins around the Ark like a mad mech! I tried to ask them what had happened, but the twins ran me over before I could get an answer! I spent the next cycle in the med bay getting the tire marks stripped from my chassis!"

But then again, complaining about their respective sets of twins had brought them together like nothing else ever would.

Soundwave snorted, downing the rest of his cube in one go. "Rumble and Frenzy once filled Megatron's fusion cannon with orange paint." At Prowl's unimpressed look Soundwave elaborated, "Permanent, neon, sparkly, optic-watering, orange paint that had to be removed with acid."

Prowl lifted his cube in silent respect before emptying it and throwing it onto the ever growing pile.

For a moment they were silent, caught up in whatever thoughts their over-energized processors deemed important.

"I wonder what would happen," Soundwave looked up as Prowl broke the companionable silence, "if we took a break and left the others to deal with the twins."

Soundwave tilted his helm, considering. "They would not last." He said with confidence. "I cannot imagine any of the Decepticons managing to catch Rumble or Frenzy, much less properly punish them."

Prowl smirked, "I have a feeling Sideswipe and Sunstreaker would end up offline if I were to leave for too long. Prime's patience may be legendary, but when it comes to the twins he's more than happy to dump everything on me. He wouldn't last more than a few cycles."

Silence once again descended over the small clearing, the only noise coming from the crackling fire and gently rustling leaves.

"So..." Prowl grabbed another cube and twirled it absentmindedly, staring into the depths of the fire before looking up at Soundwave with a sly grin on his usually stoic face, "where do you want to go?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	20. Pranked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave has an unfortunate incident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd person PoV... PoV character could be any Con you wish really (except Soundwave).

It's all you can do not to stare.

That would just make everything worse.

You try not to look at the obnoxious, fluorescent pink paint as it slowly drips down onto the floor with soft plops, wincing every time the quiet sound echoes around the even quieter command center.

You do your best to keep your attention from being drawn to the tiny little sparkles that have stuck to the paint, their shiny colours reflecting a faint rainbow on the dull purple walls of the Nemesis.

Then the pink and reflective rainbow mass takes a step forwards, only to stop as the paint and sparkles take the opportunity to slip into newly revealed joints and along cables and struts, steadily working their way deeper and deeper.

Honestly, you're surprised the target of Skywarp's latest prank hasn't said anything yet, and from the horrified silence laying heavily over the rest of the mechs in the command room, it's obvious everyone is just waiting for the inevitable fallout.

That's why, when the only obvious reaction is a clearly audible sigh, the urge to stare increases exponentially.

You'd never have though Soundwave would react so well to being pranked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> This is my first try with 2nd person PoV, so reviews would be much appreciated.


	21. Fun and Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shortest short to ever short.  
> Skywarp and either Frenzy or Rumble, you chose which one.

"SKYWARP!"

"You know what the humans say! It's all fun and games!"

"Until someone LOSES THEIR ARM YOU IDIOT!"


	22. Swimming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can heavy mechaniod beings learn to swim?   
> Someone has to try.

"Ravage, what are you doing?"

"Swimming."

"...I can see that."

"Then why did you ask."

"Because I want to know why you're swimming."

"Then you should have asked me, 'Ravage, why are you swimming,' as opposed to the question you actually voiced."

"Fine, jeez, Ravage. Why are you swimming."

"Practice."

"Practice?"

"Did I flinch?"

"No..."

"Then what is the issue?"

"Well..."

"As Cybertronians that can fight in space we are equally capable of fighting under water as well, yes?"

"Yes..."

"And we have to practice fighting in space before we can actually do it with any kind of skill, yes?"

"Yes..."

"So I'm practicing swimming, because how anyone expects me to fight underwater without being able to maneuver even reasonably well is beyond me, and thus, the practice."

"Can I ask another question?"

"You just did."

"... can I ask two more questions?"

"Yes."

"Why do you have inner tubes wrapped around your legs?"

"They provide floatation, and make moving harder, so when I take them off I will be more graceful."

"Okay... just... don't tell Soundwave."

"Should he not be aware of this?"

"Well, you look kind of-"

"Be careful of what you say next, Frenzy."

"-not fierce, and I don't think anyone would be able to take you seriously if they saw you swimming in circles around what to us is basically an over-large puddle with yellow inner tubes around your legs."

"Well then, don't tell anyone, deal?"

"Deal."

"Good."

"Of course, this means I won't be able to take you seriously after this."

"Like you did in the first place."

"... still. I'll take you even less seriously than before."

"We'll see who's taking who seriously when I kick your aft in the next underwater battle, little brother."

"Pfft. Like that's going to happen."

"We shall see, brother. We shall see."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	23. More Swimming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Swimming.  
> Guess what Frenzy did.

"YOU DID WHAT?!"

"C'mon Ravage! What did you expect me to do?"

"NOT TAKE PHOTOS OF ME PRACTICING SWIMMING AND SELL THEM!"

"Well, I did make a lot of credits.."

Ravage snarls at me, optics flashing furious red.

I laugh nervously. Last time she looked that mad was when the Autobots called her 'Kitten.'

"Ravage?"

An angry rumbling is emanating from her chassis.

"Uh... why are you looking at me like that?"

Her glare intensifies, wicked sharp denta flashing, sharp claws extending to click against the metal floors.

"So, maybe I screwed up a bit-"

She crouches down, powerful limbs coiling, muscle cables flexing as she prepares to rip me to shreds.

"-a lot! I screwed up a lot! I'm sorry! Maybe Megatron will see-"

The growling has somehow started to sound more vicious.

"-ndhe'llrecommendthateveryonedoitbecauseit'sabrilliantideaandthenyoucanwatcheveryoneelsewearingfloatytubesincudingme."

I hurry to appease Ravage before she actually mauls me, my words tumbling together quickly enough to make that Autobot (Zippy?) jealous.

She settles down, no longer prepared to spring, staring at me with slightly less rage than before.

"And, uh, since you've already gotten pretty good you probably will be able to watch and take photos of everyone else, and they'll probably look even more ridiculous because they're not nearly as graceful as you and it'd make awesome blackmail material."

A devious flare lights Ravage's optics just as the door swishes open and Soundwave walks in.

He stares at us, me still cowering slightly, and Ravage staring at me with an expression normally seen on the face of one about to cause enough mischief to make the target(s) wish for self-deactivation.

I can tell he really doesn't want to ask, but does anyways, stance slumped in defeat and prepared to cringe.

"Ravage. Frenzy. What are you doing?"

Ravage turns from me to Soundwave, that horrific look still on her faceplates, and evilly purrs to our creator, "We have a proposition that Megatron needs to hear."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"THIS IS RIDICULOUS!"

"SHUT UP STARSCREAM! AND STOP CLINGING TO ME FRAGGIT!"

I look back to the lakeside where Ravage sits, gleefully watching as every single Earthbound Decepticon flails about in the water, trying to figure out how to swim but not wanting to look like a complete idiot while doing so.

The only ones not flailing are Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Thundercracker, and Soundwave.

Buzzsaw is perched on Soundwave's helm and is staring at everyone will ill-disguised disgust. Laserbeak is happily sitting on Thundercracker's helm and watching Vortex try to use his helicopter propellers like that of a boat's, chirring softly as the furious mech refuses to admit defeat despite his multiple failures.

Soundwave and Thundercracker are both magically treading water, using a method known only to themselves and stubbornly refusing to tell.

"This could not possibly get any worse."

I look over at Rumble, flailing as he is next to Dead End, who looks mournfully at the smaller mech, "It can always get worse."

Rumble starts sputtering as a wave hits him right in the faceplates, "How could it possibly get any worse."

"AUTOBOTS, TRANSForm and..."

Dead Ends sighs, "That's how."

I look at the shore across from Ravage to see the Autobots standing on the beach, many are staring at us in amusement, but most just look confused.

Optimus leans down and whispers not-so-quietly to the Autobot SIC, who is staring at us in stupefied shock, small puffs of smoke can be clearly seen coming from his helm, "...Prowl, what are they doing?"

On the shore opposite the Autobots I can hear Ravage laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	24. Frenzy's Really Bad Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frenzy goes on an adventure.  
> Skywarp has a small part.  
> Thundercracker's aft is mentioned.

"HOLY SLAG!"

Frenzy let out a barely muffled laugh at the purple seeker's reaction.

Who knew flour could be such a useful substance?

[Rumble]: Hey, Frenzy.:

A quick peek up shows Rumble peering down at Frenzy through a ventilation grate.

[Frenzy]: You got that, right?:

Even from the floor it's easy to see Rumble rolling his optics, an expression he picked up from the humans.

[Rumble]: Obviously.:

"I"M GONNA TURN THOSE HALF-PINT SLAGGERS INTO SCRAP METAL!"

Frenzy winces as the surprisingly high-pitched voice grates at his audials.

[Frenzy]: Do you think he's related to Screamer? He does have the same frame type...:

Rumble stares thoughtfully at Skywarp.

[Rumble]: His aft is the same colour as TC's. Maybe he helped Screamer create him? He does seem a little young...:

Frenzy recoils, looking up at Rumble with a mixture of intrigue and disgust.

[Frenzy]: How do you know what colour Thundercracker's aft is?:

Skywarp screeches in pure anger, stomping a large, heeled pede on the ground before stalking off in a fury, flour swirling thicker around him with every movement.

[Rumble]: Come to think of it... flour is also the same colour as TC's aft...:

Frenzy shudders, doing his best to keep from thinking too much about Thundercracker's aft.

[Frenzy]: What're you gonna do? Make TC's Aft an official colour?:

A mischievous feeling flits over the bond, and Frenzy almost stalls.

[Frenzy]: You do know I was kidding, right?:

Rumble looks down, a full-blown smirk stretching his faceplates.

[Rumble]: Who needs to be as white as a sheet when you can be as white as TC's aft?:

Suddenly a loud stomping can be heard, and Frenzy freezes, slowly turning around as a little puff of white flour (he refuses to think of it as TC's Aft coloured flour) settles innocently on his helm.

"Uh, hey 'Warp! You're looking... pale... today."

Skywarp snarls, optics flashing a deep scarlet.

Frenzy starts back-pedalling, "You know, I think I saw, uh, Swindle, with some flour earlier, I'll go ask him if he knows who got you, so you can get them. Why are you looking at me like that? 'Warp?" Skywarp lunges forwards, "SKYWARP!"

Frenzy takes off, ignoring Rumble's hysterical laughter as it echoes mockingly over the bond.

Frenzy ducks, the feel of servos passing just above his helm making him speed up even more.

"COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE GLITCH!"

Frenzy winces at Skywarp's screech, the sound giving him even more motivation to run faster.

[Rumble]: Hey bro, you're fast as Blurr!:

Frenzy swings around the next corner, wincing as his arm is almost yanked out of it's socket as he grabs the wall and uses his momentum to pull ahead of Skywarp.

Hopefully he won't remember he can warp.

[Rumble]: Want some advice?:

Frenzy stumbles, almost tripping and only just managing to avoid Skywarp's servos again. Damn he's fast.

[Frenzy]: Either slag off or start helping. You're as useless as an Insecticon on the ceiling.:

Frenzy whips around the next corner in much the same manner as the first, ignoring the pain as his already aching shoulder is once again strained.

[Rumble]: Yeah, but I'm getting a truck-load of black-mail material. Anyways, my advice? Run in rectangles.:

Frenzy ducks again, almost stumbling as black servos scrape painfully against his back.

[Frenzy]: Rectangles?:

"STOP MOVING!"

Frenzy once again swings around a corner, not bothering to look back as he hears Skywarp slip and crash to the ground.

[Rumble]: He's not as fast around corners as you are.:

Crack.

Frenzy dives into a convenient side hall, optics wide in panic, as Skywarp appears in the middle of the hall ahead of him.

An wordless shriek of rage echoes after him, and he quickly hacks his way into the nearest room, sprinting across it and over some furniture into an adjacent room.

A shaky but hopeful ventilation leaves him as the door slides shut, and he looks around the room, curious as to where he managed to sprint to in his panic.

Two red optics light up the far end of the room, and Frenzy stares in horror as Motormaster slowly gets off his recharge berth and stares down at him with an infuriated expression.

[Rumble]: Hey, Sounders, if you don't get down to Motormaster's room A.S.A.P. you're gonna be picking up his cold grey pieces.:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote it originally while trying to logically add as many almost-cliché lines as possible.


	25. Paint Swap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frenzy and Rumble are sneaky little slaggers.

"Hey Frenzy."

I look over at my twin, grinning at the now red and black colour scheme, "Yeah, Rumble?"

Rumble returns my grin with a vicious smirk, "This is gonna be awesome."

I look down at my new blue and purple-ish paint job, "Damn slagging right it's gonna be awesome."

-.-.-.-.-.-.M.a.n.y.-.-.Y.e.a.r.s.-.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Hey Frenzy."

I merely groan, ignoring my obnoxious red twin.

"Hey Frenzy."

Would the energy required to roll away from my twin be worth it?

"Hey Frenzy."

Yes. Yes it would.

Unfortunately, the idiot stops me mid-roll and leans over me, insufferable smirk on his faceplates.

"Hey Frenzy."

I glare at him. "What?"

Somehow, his smirk gets bigger.

"You know how we just came out of stasis?"

My glare goes from angry to wary in less than a sparkpulse.

"Yeah."

Rumble lets my shoulder go, and I briefly flail about, my support lost.

"Wanna switch paint jobs again?"

I manage to steady myself, thinking the idea over.

Everyone has just come out of stasis, so they're all a little slower than usual, add that to the fact that no one is 100% sure if their memories are intact...

I look up and return the grin.

"Frag yeah."

-.-.-.-.-.-.N.e.x.t.- .- .B.a.t.t.l.e.- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .- .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"SOUNDWAVE!"

Everyone freezes, wondering why Starscream is bearing down furiously on the navy blue mech, wings vibrating with barely restrained fury.

"Query. Reason for anger?"

Starscream twitches, visibly refraining from launching himself at Soundwave.

"Would you care to explain," He says quietly, his voice managing to carry across the deathly silent battle field, "why your blasted cassettes have SWAPPED BODIES?"

Everyone turns to stare at me and Rumble.

I'm currently preparing to unleash my sonic scream, and Rumble has his pile drivers out and is warding away Bumblebee.

I see the Autobot SIC start twitching out of the corner of my optic.

[Frenzy]: Hey Rumble?:

Rumble takes an uneasy half-step towards me.

[Rumble]: Yeah Frenz?:

I key up my scream, steadily building up the charge for when everyone starts moving again.

[Frenzy]: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.:

Rumble tenses as Bumblebee voices what everyone seems to be thinking.

"I thought Frenzy was blue?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the RIRFIB TFWiki page. It never ceases to amuse.  
> What colour do you all see the twins as?


	26. Cat-Roots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ravage needs Laserbeak and Buzzsaw to help her out of an interesting situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this would never actually happen (like pretty much every other short I've written) but it's so funny to imagine.

"Hey, Beaky?"

Laserbeak looks down at me, her expression of confusion doubtlessly mirroring mine.

"She called you too?"

I nod confirmation, wondering what could have possibly happened to Ravage.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Shut up and help me you twit."

I can feel Laserbeak staring at me with disapproval.

"Buzzsaw..."

I flap a wing in her direction, waving off the reprimand I know is coming.

"Just give me a sec," I manage to get out between shaky intakes and laughter.

Ravage glares down at us from her position, and I barely manage to quell another wave of amusement.

No wonder she didn't ask the twins or Ratbat for help. They'd _never_ let her live this down, in their respective irritating and innocent ways.

"So, mind telling us how you got yourself stuck in a tree?"


	27. The Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ravage marks what is hers.

"Umm... Ravage?"

She freezes, staring at me like a deer in headlights.

"Yes, Rumble?"

I tilt my head, hoping the small angle change will help what I'm seeing make sense.

"What're you doing?"

Ravage rubs her helm against Soundwave's leg again, leaving tiny black scratches behind.

"Just marking my territory."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cat-Ravage is the best.  
> Thoughts?


	28. Alt-Mode Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave goes on a mission, but unfortunately one vital bit of Intel has been left out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure dialogue.
> 
> "spoken aloud"
> 
> [name]:bond talk:

"No. Way."

"What?"

"It's like, a boom box!"

"A what?"

"You know, one of those music player things from like, the 80s that could play like, cassette tapes and stuff!"

"How do you even know this?"

"I was studying and got bored, so I started looking up random stuff."

"Wow."

"Yeah. I taught myself half the Morse alphabet last week."

"Okay."

"I wonder what this symbol means?"

"You've got to be kidding."

"What?"

"Decepticon? Duh? Been here since the 80s? Whoever used to own this was probably some kind of nerdy alien obsessed weirdo."

"Yeah. Weren't they fighting against those famous guys?"

"The Autobots?"

"Yeah. Their symbol's a grumpy red face, right?"

"How do you not know this? You taught yourself Morse code, and yet you don't know about the intergalactic war that has been taking place on Earth for the last 30 years?"

"Ummm... I don't watch the news?"

"Why not?"

"It's depressing!"

"Right."

"So... tell me about these Autoboys?"

"They're called Autobots, and they're from this planet that's really far away-"

-.-.-.-.-.A.-.-.-.-.W.h.i.l.e.-.-.-.-.-.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

[Frenzy]: Yo, Boss, how's the mission going?:

"Yeah, there's this one guy, I think his name is Jazz, his voice is so sexy-"

[Soundwave]: Mission. Could be better.:

"-and there's these two guys, I think I heard someone say they're twins, and they can turn into Lamborghinis!"

"No way!"

"Way."

"That's so hot!"

"I know!"

[Frenzy]: Wow. That bad, huh?:

"I wonder if we could meet them?"

"That'd be amazing!"

"You think they'd let us, you know, touch them?"

"Maybe we could wash them?"

"Oh. My. God. That's brilliant! Then we wouldn't smudge their paint or anything!"

[Soundwave]: Worse.:

"I think one of them's like, a cop, right?"

"Yeah, Prowl or something."

"Uniform."

"Yes!"

[Frenzy]: You need to get a new alt-mode.:

"And we could totally take them this boom box and show it to them! They'd probably think it's so cute and retro!"

"That's brilliant!"

[Soundwave]: Alt-mode. Good for infiltration. Alt-mode. Small. Often unnoticed.:

"I wonder if we could get one of them to give us like, a ride or something."

"That would be stellar."

"I know right?"

[Frenzy]: It is good for that, yeah, but if you're going to keep that alt-mode then you should at least update it so you don't get idiots thinking you're "cute" and "retro" and a "collector's item.":

"Oh my gosh, I wonder if they can have, like, human forms?"

"I bet they'd be mega hotties."

"Super hotties."

"Ultra hotties."

[Soundwave]: Holomatter form. Adequate.:

"Oh my gosh, look at that guy. He's walking towards us!"

"He's so gorgeous."

"I know, and those red sunglasses totally suit him."

"Yeah, and a blue jacket with gold trim like that? I bet he's rich."

[Frenzy]: Yeah. Unless you're dealing with women.:

"Excuse me, ladies, but that would be mine."

"Oh, of course! We were just admiring it."

"It totally goes with your outfit! That's so hot."

"Umm... Thank you. Have a nice day."

"Oh my gosh, he thanked us!"

"I know! His voice? So dreamy."

[Soundwave]: Frenzy.:

"I'm going to be having some good dreams tonight, let me tell you."

"Same here! Maybe a few Autobots will join me and that gorgeous guy."

[Frenzy]: Uh, yeah?:

"Hey dad! Your meeting finally over?"

"Yeah, we've been waiting out here for ages!"

[Soundwave]: Proper intelligence required for successful infiltration.:

"Well, I'm sorry I took so long. I hope you weren't too bored?"

[Frenzy]: What're you talking about? I know that! I've known that since I could process what the words meant!:

"We found this cute little boom box, and this totally gorgeous guy came and picked it up not too long ago!"

[Soundwave]: Bring your daughter(s) to work day. Not appropriate day for intelligence gathering.:

"Well... that's nice darlings. Was he from my squadron?"

"Of course not! I said he was gorgeous, didn't I?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate titles could be "Damn It Frenzy," "Primus I Hate my Job," "When Things Go Wrong In The Most Annoying Ways," "Unexpected Things Suck," and "This is What I Get for Actually Liking my First Earth Alt-Mode."
> 
> I mean no offence to teenage girls.
> 
> *Spoliers for chapter*  
> Just in case it was unclear, it's an Autobot base, Soundwave's gathering intelligence, and is spotted by the two random girls that were brought to Bring-Your-Daughter(s)-to-Work Day, then turns his holoform on and rescues himself. He doesn't use the holoform to wander around and gather intelligence because nobody that works on the base would recognize him (which is a bad thing), and the Autobots would be able to tell it's not actually a human (hopefully they would be smart enough by now to recognize his alt-mode...).


	29. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frenzy and Rumble infiltrate the Ark. Laserbeak surprises them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _name: comm talk_  
>  [name]:bond talk:

He looked up! Who the frag looks _up?_

I start moving through the vents towards the entrance as fast as I can, Rumble right behind me and quietly swearing in languages I don't recognize. (I'm assuming it's swearing, because, you know, it's Rumble... it's not like he'd learn actual _words_ that could be _useful_ in really obscure languages.)

[Frenzy]: Sorry Beaky, we're gonna have to leave ahead of schedule and with a lot more noise than planned. Is it possible you could help us a bit more?:

I abruptly dive left, Rumble's swearing getting louder as he has to scramble to follow me. I honestly don't know where I'm going, hoping that my lack of direction will confuse the Autobots more than it's confusing me.

[Laserbeak]: Wheeljack's lab isn't far from your current position. I'm sure there's something in there you could use.:

I skid around another corner, shouting as I find myself sliding downwards. And echoing shout tells me Rumble has unwillingly followed me, and I can feel Laserbeak's irritation over the bond.

[Laserbeak]: Wheeljack's lab _wasn't_ very far from your location. You just hit the energon chute. You're going to be falling for a while now, since you're dropping about three levels via a very twisty and, really, quite stupidly designed chute.:

I swear as I hit the wall, sparks flying as I'm scraped against it at high speeds.

[Frenzy]: How is it possible the chute is this long when it's only dropping three levels?!:

I suddenly slow down as I hit an upward slope.

[Frenzy]: Nevermind...:

I'm about to sigh in relief as I come to a stop on a blessedly flat portion, but then something, most likely Rumble if the incoherent snarling is anything to go by, hits me from behind and we go plunging down again in a tangle of limbs.

[Laserbeak]: Yeah. Shame you can't fly. Good news is it looks like you've lost the Autobots. Bad news is the entrance is now locked down. Oh, by the way, I suggest you brace yourself.:

I don't have time to wonder about Laserbeak's warning as Rumble and I burst through a rectangular opening and slide across a dusty surface, only coming to a halt when we slam into the opposing wall.

My legs are up against the wall, pedes towards the ceiling, and Rumble is somehow underneath me face first on the ground.

[Rumble]: Thank for the advance warning, Beaky. Frenzy. If you don't get your aft off my back I'm gonna-:

[Frenzy]: You're gonna what? Spank it?:

Rumble snarls and surges off the ground, throwing me violently from his back and across the small room. I hit the wall with a thud and slide to the floor. Quickly getting up I brace for a follow up from Rumble, but he's staring past me in shock. I turn around slowly, ready for anything that might signal a trick on Rumble's part, but he doesn't move.

I finally turn all the way around to see what exactly has captured my twin's attention, and come face plate to faceplate with a massive pile of energon.

"Primus," I can't even see the top of the pile from where I'm standing it's so big. The dull glow from the cubes plays across my frame, and I turn to look at Rumble. "We have to tell Boss about this."

[Frenzy]: Hey beaky, you're never gonna guess what I found!:

First though, I get to brag to Laserbeak. I mean, come on! She's been stuck in the Ark for how long and she never found this place?

[Laserbeak]: A massive stockpile of energon?:

...Or maybe she did? But, why wouldn't she tell anyone?

Rumble and I exchange a glance full of mutual curiosity and suspicion.

[Rumble]: Yeah, Beaky, that's right. Why do you know of this and we don't?:

I walk along the pile of Energon, trying to see if there are any gaps in what must be a pile of hundreds of cubes brimming with energon.

[Laserbeak]: Because it's getting sent back to Cybertron. I reported to Soundwave, who reported to Shockwave. We are prepared to seize the cubes when the Autobots try to transport them, and distribute them as needed throughout the ranks.:

I pause, standing in front of a pile of Energon that could keep the Decepticons running for a long time (depending on how big the room is), and I have to wonder about that reasoning.

[Frenzy]: But, why not tell Megatron?:

An angry snort echoes across the bond.

[Laserbeak]: Maybe because he's insane?:

That brings me up short. Apparently Rumble's having a hard time comprehending it too.

[Rumble]: What?:

I hear Laserbeak mutter something about... not hiding the truth from us? What?

[Laserbeak]: Megatron is insane and power hungry. If he truly had Cybertron and its inhabitants in his best interests, we would have never attacked the Autobots upon leaving Cybertron. We still would have left, mind you, there was hardly anything left there for us, but we certainly wouldn't have attacked the Autobots. Following them would have been a much smarter course of action, Pit, we didn't even have to follow them! We could have gone a completely different direction to look for energy! It's not like every single other planet is a barren wasteland we can't possibly get energy from. And even now, Megatron is still Pit bent on destroying the Autobots when we could be co-operating! As it is, Prime is nearly desperate enough to negotiate a cease-fire or some kind of long-lasting truce that we could ask for Cybertron itself and he'd give it to us! And Megatron still won't stop this damn war! Starscream has the right idea, Megatron needs to be disposed of. All the officers have a plan, we're just waiting for this energon to be shipped out before we can move.:

I turn around slowly to look at Rumble. He's sitting on the floor with his helm in his hands, and I follow suit. How could Laserbeak and Soundwave have kept this from us? Something that is so important it will determine the future of our entire species?

[Rumble]: Why weren't we told.:

Laserbeak hesitates, and I can feel her uncertainty.

[Laserbeak]: You two are, unfortunately, most likely to be targets if Megatron chooses to act against Soundwave.:

What? Oh... oh.

[Rumble]: You serious?:

[Laserbeak]: Yeah. I don't think he likes your attitude.:

Rumble snorts.

[Rumble]: You mean our swag?:

Leave it to Rumble to make light of this so quickly. Might as well follow suit.

[Frenzy]: I don't know, bro. I usually think of it more as spunk.:

Rumble looks up at me incredulously.

[Rumble]: Spunk? Who are you? Someone's creator trying to sound cool?:

I glare at him.

[Frenzy]: Pfft. Spunk is way better than swag!:

An exasperated but relieved sigh filters through the bond.

[Laserbeak]: So... you two aren't mad?:

I pause to think about that, and answer as honestly as I can.

[Frenzy]: Well, you said you were doing to keep us safe, right? So, really, getting mad at you would be stupid since you were just looking out for us. Honestly, I've thought Megs was crazy for a while now. You should hear some of the things Rumble and I have called him...:

Rumble stands up slowly and walks back over to the chute entrance we slid out of.

[Rumble]: You really don't want to know, regardless of what Frenzy says. Now, I hate to break up the whole serious-revelation-and-subsequent-touchingly-honest-moment-where-everyone-realizes-they-really-do-love-each-other thing-:

[Laserbeak]: You've been watching too many movies lately, Rumble.:

[Rumble]:- but we still need to get out of the Ark.:

[Frenzy]: Yeah, we finished the original mission before we were spotted. We still need to report that part back to Megatron.:

Laserbeak withdraws a bit, and I can tell she's checking possible escape routes.

[Laserbeak]: Okay, you should be able to get to 'Jack's lab fairly easily now. I'll send you a map with the route highlighted.:

[Frenzy]: Thanks, Beaky.:

[Laserbeak]: No problem, brothers.:

[Rumble]: We have to go up that chute now, don't we?:

[Laserbeak]: Yup.:

[Frenzy]: Frag it!:

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I glance over my shoulder quickly, my momentum never slowing, in time to see Rumble round the corner after me. He almost loses his balance, sliding into the wall and stumbling, but he somehow managed to keep his pedes underneath him and follow me.

The entrance of the Ark is in sight, the painfully orange walls giving way to brilliant sunshine and soothing blue skies.

A slightly dusty red car sits idling just outside the entrance, and for a moment I fear it's an Autobot. Then I get a comm. request.

_Dead End: Why are you running? You are simply prolonging the inevitable._

I snarl, pushing myself to run faster. I can hear the wordless shouts of rage echoing from where the Autobots are stumbling around, blinded by the funny looking sphere I managed to snatch from Wheeljack's lab before Rumble and I were spotted. We don't know how long the effects last, or if any Autobots weren't affected.

Hence the running.

Rumble, ever the hacker, buts in on my comm. line.

_Rumble: Well, we were just trying out this "exercise" thing the humans do. You know, for fun. You have heard of fun, right?_

I burst out of the Ark and slide to a stop next to Dead End. He obligingly opens a door, and I climb in gratefully, ignoring his depressed sigh.

_Dead End: Of course I have heard of fun. I simply don't see the point in it. Why bother exerting so much energy when you are someday going to either offline or die?_

Frenzy slides to a halt next to Dead End's open door, quickly jumping in after me and sinking into the comfortable seats of Dead End's interior.

_Frenzy: Well, we'd rather not offline any time soon because we just got a whole lot of information from the Autobots that needs to be delivered to the officers back at HQ._

Dead End guns his engine, expertly speeding away from the Ark.

_Dead End: Really now? How do they not notice you guys? And isn't Laserbeak still in there? Why did you have to do this when she's still in there?_

Rumble and I exchange a glance. Dead End is taking an interest in something? Did something happen while we were in the Ark? This could be bad.

_Rumble: You're pretty inquisitive for a mech that doesn't care much for anything._

Dead End easily pulls onto a large human highway and starts speeding towards the extraction point where Astrotrain is going to meet us.

_Dead End: I'm just wondering how, if the Autobots still don't recognize your alt-modes, we haven't won this war already. I mean, can't you just go in and offline them all while they recharge? Or sedate them so we can offline them?_

I look thoughtfully at the Decepticon symbol imprinted on the center of Dead End's steering wheel. Maybe he's the smart Stunticon?

_Frenzy: Well, I think it's because Megatron's got a thing for Prime and wants to offline him himself in glorious combat, or some kind of weird slag like that._

Rumble shoots me a look.

[Rumble]: You know that's not the real reason.:

I avoid looking at him. No need to have Dead End suspicious of the Decepticon Command Staff. Not now.

[Frenzy]: Mute it.:

We spend the rest of the trip in silence. I wonder what Dead End's thinking. If he's half as smart as he just let on, then I don't doubt he can see the numerous flaws in my explanation. Luckily we make good time, and quickly pull up to the extraction point.

It's empty.

No Astrotrain within sight or scanner range.

Frag, is it too much to ask that we have at least one mission where something goes right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I have nothing against Megatron...)   
> And that ending, bleh.  
> Thoughts?


	30. Skagway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caves are found in stupidly remote places. Actual seriousness ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this a long time ago, it could be considered a sequel to "Surprise" if you squint.
> 
>  _name: comm talk._  
>  [name]: bond talk:

[Rumble]: Why, exactly, are we in Skagway, Alaska?:

I sigh again, looking around in irritation. The little town below us is hardly a concern, but Megatron's orders must be carried out.

Unfortunately he's going through a paranoid phase and doesn't trust anyone but me and my family (lucky us) hence the latest mission.

Shockwave, the _other_ mech currently trusted by our mighty leader, is coming to Earth. Apparently this warrants a secret laboratory, because every creepy scientist needs an equally creepy secret laboratory in some random-and-impossible-to-easily-get-to-and-stupidly-located-area-that-has-horrible-weather-and a-whole-fragging-mountain-range-in-it.

[Ravage]: Because we're competent, and we're apparently the only ones on this planet that are. Shut up.:

This little excursion, on top of the endless menial tasks that we had been receiving lately because "nobody else on this infernal planet can be trusted," are making us all very, very testy.

[Rumble]: Yeah, like you could be considered competent, Ravage. Have you forgotten yesterday? Frenzy and I had to dig you out of a snow bank. Can you get any less competent? It's a pile of _frozen water_ for Primus' sake!:

So to say that this mission was in anyway successful would be a lie, because, despite the fact that the last few days had been spent scouring every centimetre of the infernal rocks in this area, we had yet to find an area that Shockwave considered remotely _adequate._

That was the word he used. _Adequate._ As if finding a location to build a secret base inside of a mountain in this ridiculous landscape that was such a _stupid_ place to put anything that only a few thousand _humans_ dared live along this ridiculously named "Alaska Pan-Handle" was so damn easy that the energy rich locations we had found were merely _adequate._

Shockwave is such an aft. I'm totally with Starscream about this (fraggit, Megatron, why is he your SIC if you don't trust him?)

A private comm request comes up in the top right corner of my view, blinking slowly. It's very. Very. Annoying.

[Soundwave]: Enough. Focus. Complete mission. Then bicker. Energy. Must not be wasted.:

Even Soundwave was beginning to snap at us, something that almost never happens.

I accept the small request for a private comm, if only to stop the stupid alert from blinking at me.

_Laserbeak: Hey, Buzzsaw?_

She sounds excited. Maybe she shoved a human off a cliff and recorded it? (How many times does a human bounce before they go squish?)

_Buzzsaw: Yeah, Beaky?_

I look around for her, but can't see her anywhere, and none of my scanners register her spark signature. She can't have crashed. She wouldn't sound so happy if she'd crashed.

_Laserbeak: I found the perfect place for Shockwave's base!_

I stop my scanners, hovering in a rare calm spot.

_Buzzsaw: Seriously? This had better not be a joke, Beaky._

Her voice sounds angrily in my audio, the tone reminding me that, after so long searching for a suitable place, not even Frenzy would joke about finally finding it (and that Laserbeak is scary when she's mad).

_Laserbeak: I would not joke about this, Buzzsaw. Now get over here before I make you._

A small gust of wind propels me upwards, but I still can't detect Laserbeak's spark signature.

_Buzzsaw: Uh, Beaky? You're not reading on my scanners..._

I hear an irritated sigh.

_Laserbeak: We're sparkbound you twit._

Sure enough, I can vaguely feel Laserbeak's spark, and it seems to be quite a ways away from where everyone else is currently arguing.

_Buzzsaw: Right. Why aren't we communicating through the bond, then?_

Another sigh.

_Laserbeak: Because I don't want to._

I stop questioning her, she sounds _exceedingly_ irritated.

I pause, double checking the direction I can feel my sister's spark in, before diving towards it.

Cold air whistles past my audios as I plummet from the sky, and I slowly extend my wings halfway, allowing them to catch the air so I can slowly level off. I pass over the highway from Skagway into Canada, ignoring my family as I whip past them, and taking amusement in their surprise.

[Frenzy]: Uh, Buzzer? Where're you going?:

Laserbeak growls darkly at me.

_Laserbeak: Tell them and you'll suffer._

I nearly stall. Since when was Laserbeak one to issue threats? And to me of all mechs! I'm practically her twin!

[Buzzsaw]: I'm, uh, bored. Trying something new.:

I hear Laserbeak snort in derision.

_Laserbeak: That was pathetic. Even for you._

I growl back, whipping around and over a small mountain ridge and past a waterfall with ease, the water stirring in my wake.

_Buzzsaw: Well if I'd had a bit more warning, then I could have come up with a better excuse._

I can feel the worry over the bond from Soundwave and the others, and for a moment I forget my irritation.

[Buzzsaw]: Seriously, guys, I'm not crazy.:

Frenzy snickers.

[Frenzy]: No more than you were before, at least.:

I growl, but my words have succeeded in reassuring everyone of my sanity, and they leave me alone. Except for Laserbeak. She's still guiding me with her beacon of irritation and derision, though I'm surprised to feel a bit of awe there too.

I dive without hesitation into a hole in the side of a large cliff face, despite the fact that a normally sized human would have trouble fitting in it. I can barely avoid the rocks that feel like they're closing in on me, and I struggle to avoid crashing out of sheer panic. Flyers and enclosed spaces are not a good combination.

Though, for all that I'm currently furious with Laserbeak (other living beings in general, actually), I still trust her. She wouldn't lead me to a dead end.

I fly for a few more minutes, and just when I'm starting to have doubts about Laserbeak I soar out of the tunnel and into a giant cavern, and the awe makes sense. Some patches of the walls appear to be covered in luminescent organic creatures, enough that my sensetive optics can easily see around the massive cavern. I can even see a small trickle of water flowing down the walls and coming together through small trails carved in a thick layer of moss to converge in the center of the cavern to form a small lake. Despite being in Alaska, the cavern is quite warm, probably well insulated by Primus only knows how much rock.

I land on a small moss covered rock, and Laserbeak lands on one not too far from me, smugness radiating from every line on her frame.

_Laserbeak: Told you it'd be perfect._

I look at her, still mad she was so short with me, but I can understand wanting to keep this place to herself for just a bit longer. It's so peaceful.

_Buzzsaw: It is. Almost too perfect, really._

Laserbeak looks at me with a raised optic ridge, disbelief clearly evident.

_Laserbeak: Are you suggesting we continue to look for a place for Shockwave's lab, and keep this one to ourselves? Our own personal massive cavern in the middle of nowhere? Despite having searched so long for a place like this? We could finish this mission!_

I stare at her, irritation rising. Can't she see?

_Buzzsaw: Yes. That's exactly what I'm suggesting. Haven't you ever wanted somewhere to go, somewhere really far from everyone that you knew was safe? Giving this place to Shockwave would be a waste! Look at it!_

I stare around the massive space we're sitting in, suddenly feeling very small.

_Buzzsaw: Why should we give this up? Shockwave can wait. Even if we don't come here very often, it'd be nice to have a place to rendezvous if we ever needed to. A safe haven, if you would._

Laserbeak looks thoughtfully around the area, all her cynisisn gone as she seriously considers my idea.

_Laserbeak: And nobody but our family would know?_

I pause. Actually making this place a fit meeting place would take some time and materials, and while as Third in Command of the Decpticon Forces Soundwave would be able to get all the necessary materials, time is something he never had a lot of, even back when Megatron trusted others.

But really, we do need a place to fall back to in case something ever goes wrong. An eventuality that is sadly looking more and more certain as time passes.

_Buzzsaw: No. This place would be ours. It's hard to get to, the rocks block our signatures, and nobody that wanted to find us would be small enough to fit through that tiny crack except the Reflectors and Blaster's crew, and we'd detect them long before they got here. I'm sure we'll have a Pit of a time getting materials through, but we're all small enough to do it. Boss can stay on the Nemesis and keep attention off of us. If he ever has to come here, one of us can carry him in his alt-mode. We'll probably have to once we tell him about it, actually._

Laserbeak continues to survey the area, and I can tell she's coming up with all sorts of ways to make this place better. After spending so much time on the Ark she probably knows enough to be able to compare it to the Nemesis and make improvements to standard Decepticon engineering.

Rumble and Frenzy will probably do the most physical work, after all the pranks they pull and manual labour they've done as punishment they're surprisingly good at building things.

Ravage will make sure the area's secure, she's really good (anal really) about that kind of stuff.

Ratbat will work on hiding this place from humans, which is technically security, but he's really good at thinking on their level and finding ways to anticipate their moves and get rid of them. Probably because his intelligence is far from fully developed, and humans are generally a pretty stupid species...

I'll be able to implement all of Laserbeak's ideas to her specifications, and alter them as needed. After this mission she'll likely be reassigned to the Ark so she can continue monitoring the Autobots, and I know her well enough to make sure everything fits her requirements, regardless of any complications that may arise.

_Buzzsaw: Do you want to do the honours?_

Laserbeak smiles at me, the first genuine smile I've seen in a long, long time. Maybe something good has come out of Megatron's paranoia, for once.

[Laserbeak]: Hey guys, you'll never guess what we found.:


	31. Human Element: Road Testing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumble and Frenzy are not pleased with their latest mission. Neither is Soundwave, but it's harder to tell with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **[PoV Character]**  
>  -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- = brief time break
> 
> Additionally, I'm adding "Human Element:" to the front of all the chapters that fall within this AU, since it's kind of big now.

**[Frenzy]**

"This is stupid." I glare sullenly around the insurance office, doing my best to keep from touching any of the humans that are fragging _everywhere._

Soundwave looks down at me, obviously unsympathetic and close to getting fed up with my complaints. "Frenzy. Driver's licence is important in order to function in society."

I stare up at him out of the corner of my eye, knowing he's right, but not ready to admit it.

Fragging Megatron and his fragging plans. Make human holograms. Integrate with the humans for a while and learn about them. Make friends with the Autobot's pets so you can infiltrate their base! It'll be easy, humans are stupid!

Yeah fragging right! They may be stupid, but they're stupid _complicated!_ There are so many rules and "societal norms" that I'm already fed up with this mission, and we're not even two days in.

Rumble snickers, his amber eyes full of amusement. "C'mon Frenz, it won't be that bad! Besides, this way we'll be able to impress the ladies." He suggestively raises his eyebrows and lightly elbows my side. I growl at him, and a girl "our age" turns around from her place in front of us.

She glowers at Rumble, but, for some strange reason, smiles at me. "It won't be that bad, this is my second time, and it's really easy."

I stare at her, "That makes no sense at all."

She stares at me in confusion, "What do you mean?"

I huff, humans are so stupid. "You said 'it's really easy,' right?" She nods, still looking confused. I sigh, "So, it the test is _so easy,_ why are you taking it _twice?"_

She stares at me a moment more before her demeanour changes, she straightens up and her friendly expression goes cold. "There were a few details I had to work on. Parking and such."

Another girl, almost identical to the first but far stronger and tougher looking, walks up to the first and puts an arm around her shoulders with a snort. "Easy my ass little sis, you hit a car pulling out of the insurance company's parking lot."

The first girl snarls at the second, jerking away from her arm, "I'm not that much younger than you, oh dearest twin of mine, and it's not my fault that idiot was in my spot."

Rumble grins and steps forwards, "Now, now, ladies, not need to get testy." The first girl turns to glare at him, but the second one sizes him up. Rumble laughs nervously and backs up so he's behind me. "On second thought, do whatever you like."

Soundwave doesn't move, content to ignore us until we do something that'll _really_ make a scene.

The first girl tilts her head up and looks down her nose at her sister, "Just because you passed first try doesn't mean you're any better than me when it comes to driving."

The second girl laughs, hard. "Oh please, Sam, how do you think I paid for my car?"

Sam looks around the room nervously, "I know how you paid for the car, you _felon,"_ she hisses, "you and your street racing." She raises her voice to normal levels again, "Unfortunately for me appearances must be kept, can't have anyone," she pointedly looks around the room at all the workers, "thinking you're going to crash and actually use the insurance you're paying for, can we?"

"Next." Sam glares at her sister and walks up to the counter with a female I'm assuming is her mother, her sister skipping along backwards behind her, humming smugly.

Again. Humans are weird.

A worker a ways down the counter looks up, "Next." Rumble, Soundwave, and I walk over.

"I'm going to die," I moan, Rumble looks at me with a raised eyebrow and I expand, "of _boredom."_

He rolls his eyes, "Careful, someone might think you're talking about _actual_ death."

The lady helping us laughs nervously and hands Soundwave a bunch of papers. I ignore them until Soundwave slides one along the countertop in front of me. "Sign here." He says, pointing at a little box in the top right corner of the page. I glance over it, and flip a few pages back. All identical.

A grading sheet then. Awesome.

I sigh and neatly sign my human name in elegant script, just as I'd been forced to practice, _Ferris Wave._

I look over to see Rumble messily scribble his name, just as he'd refused to practice, _Rhen Wave._

I sigh again. Why Soundwave gave us names related to elements I'll never know, though I didn't protest much because I actually like the movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

A large man comes out and walks up to me, "Hello. You must be," he glances at a page on his clipboard, "Ferris. My name is Gary. I'll be your evaluator." He gestures towards the door. "Shall we begin?"

I hate him already.

We walk out to Soundwave's alt-mode, a far cry from his previous boom-box form. The instructor look surprised when I walk up to the deep blue 1975 mustang, but he quickly recovers and looks delighted instead.

I shrug and get in. Soundwave and Rumble go to "take a walk," but really they're just going to a secluded area so their holo-forms can dissipate. The range on them right now is absolutely criminal, and all of our real forms are either Soundwave (the car) or in Soundwave's trunk (as boom boxes of our own).

Gary taps on the driver window, and I reluctantly roll it down. "Can you put your high beams on please?"

I stare at him blankly, before Soundwave gives a mental sigh and practically shoves a file at me. I download it within a second, and turn on the high beams not two seconds after being asked. Then it's the turning signals, hazard lights (I didn't know 1975 mustangs had hazard lights...) and all the other stupid little things I'll never need to know because, really, as if I'd ever have to drive Soundwave.

Then Gary get in, Soundwave tilting towards his side as he settles clumsily in the passenger's seat. I can feel Soundwave disgust and annoyance spike before he blocks it from me.

This is going to be a long half an hour.

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**[Frenzy]**

I pull into the stall next to the one I started the damn test in, and turn off the engine. If there is anything else I have to do, I'm going to shoot Gary and forge a licence.

Gary writes down yet another thing on his/my grading sheet and mulls over it for a bit, and just when I'm about to crush the idiot's skull in, blood stains on Soundwave's interior be damned, he sighs and looks over at me. "So, there are a few things you need to work on."

I twitch, and Gary continues on, oblivious to his impending death. "It's not much, just a few shoulder checks that you missed when you were moving into the left turn lane." I grip Soundwave's steering wheel tightly, knowing he'd prefer the discomfort to a blown mission. "Also, when you did that 3-point turn? The turn was fine, but you didn't do a 360 degree check before backing up. Actually," he glances down at the grading sheet, "you only did a 360 check when you pulled out of the stall, and while that's good, you should do it every time you're about to back up. Kids don't care about cars you know, they're so focused on whatever they're doing they'll run right out behind you if you're not watching."

I'm not going to kill him. I'm not going to kill him.

"So, you did pretty good overall, but, you know the drill. See you in two weeks."

_I'm going to kill him._

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**[Rumble]**

Soundwave ended up having to forcibly calm Frenzy down. That was funny. Gary had no idea he was about to get brutally murdered!

Good times.

But, now it's my turn to take the test, and Soundwave's not my test vehicle because he's talking to Frenzy (more like sitting on him off in the woods really far away from Gary), so I'm on my own in a red Porsche 928. Yup. You heard me. I'm taking a road test in _Dead End._

Luckily, he's sedated, so his morbid griping won't blow our cover.

This is going to be amazing. Payback time, Gary.

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**[Rumble]**

We do all the stupid checks at the beginning, just like with Frenzy, and Gary tells me to pull out and turn left out of the parking lot, and then right onto the street. I do that. I don't hit anything. Not even the painfully slow senior humans crossing the sidewalk. Gary relaxes, and then I slowly turn right out onto the road.

The left side of the road.

Gary freezes, and I can see him debating whether or not to just write fail on my grading sheet (surprisingly, there is no short-hand for _drove on the wrong side of the road_ ) or to tell me to circle around the block and head back. "Turn left." He decided on the latter.

I turn right.

Gary freezes again. Once again desperately wondering what he can do.

"Turn right."

I turn left.

Gary looks at me nervously, but I look over at him with a cheerful smile before turning back to the road. I am the epitome of a good, albeit stupid and oblivious, student.

He probably thinks that I'm a good driver, that I just made a few mistakes (somehow) because Frenzy's a good driver, so I must be too.

Poor, poor Gary.

"Turn right."

I turn right.

Gary sighs in relief.

"Turn right."

I turn left.

He looks at me, and I can see a deeper worry beginning to grow. I keep up the act, happily smiling and quietly humming some popular upbeat song.

Gary turns to the road again, and nervously swallows. "Turn left."

I turn right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Way back when, my driving test was like poor Frenzy's, and my uncle's (waaaaaaay back when) was like Rumble's. No joke. It wasn't intentional either, he just gets really scattered sometimes. He wasn't quite that bad, but he got lost. Really lost. And ended up on a logging road.
> 
> Thoughts?


	32. Human Element: Letter Limits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumble hates applications (and for good reason).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same 'verse as "Road Testing" (It's why it says "Human Element:" in the chapter title now).  
> 

"This is ridiculous! I hate whoever made this fragging application!"

I look over at Rumble's angry shout, slightly concerned for his mental stability. Cursing an application form is a new low even for him.

"What's the problem Rumble?" I wander over to stare at the application he's filling out, some weird scholarship thing Soundwave wants him to apply for since he's tired of having to steal funds for us.

Rumble glares up at me, "This!" He waves angrily at the laptop screen (again, from Soundwave, something about making us appear 'normal'). "It wants me to enter my job title! My job is, word for word, Cashier/Customer Service Associate, but this stupid thing has an eighteen letter word limit! How do these idiots expect me to answer these questions when they keep giving me letter limits? Oh, and," Rumble quickly scrolls to another part of the application, "here? They want the name of your city, but there's a ten letter limit! Guess how many letters our city has? _Eleven._ We are _one fragging letter_ over the limit!"

I sigh and pull up a chair, ready to listen to Rumble rant about the stupidity of humans, and the overall incompetence of the species in general.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have had to fill out applications like that. It's what I was doing immediately before writing this, in fact.


	33. Unusual Hapenings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laserbeak and Bluestreak have some fun.  
> (The origin of their relationship is described in ch 14 "Blue Laser")

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _name: comm talk._  
>  "normal speech"

**[Laserbeak]**

"Bluebell." 

Bluestreak jumps, falling off his recharge berth with a clang. 

I snicker down at him, "Hey, Bluebell, I need your help with something." 

Bluestreak looks up at me, "Seriously?" He hisses incredulously. 

I smirk down at him, "Yup." 

He sighs and stands up, brushing imaginary dirt from his frame to cover his embarrassment over being so badly startled. "What do you need _help_ with?" 

I jump into his quarters and land soundlessly on his berth, "We need to prank the Aerialbots, and we have to do it before they leave the Ark." 

He stares down at me, "Umm, okay. Can I ask _why?"_

I chirp in amusement, "You just did, and yes. Rumble and Buzzsaw are _finally,"_ I roll my optics, "out of the Nemesis after spending Primus-only-knows how long stuck down there, _and_ they're having some quality time together. I'm not sure if the latter is good or bad, but they've been detected and I don't want anything to ruin their down time." 

It's not the whole truth, but it's close enough. 

Bluestreak sighs and looks down at me in resignation. "What's the plan?" 

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_Laserbeak: I can't believe you actually agreed to help me with this._

I look down at Bluestreak through the ventilation grate, watching him as he carefully places the paint/glitter bombs in the ceiling before putting the faux ceiling panels in place and quickly walking away. Once he's out of range I activate the motion sensors on the faux panels and settle down a bit, ready to record the Aerialbot's misfortune. 

_Bluestreak: And you're_ sure _the Aerialbots were the next mechs heading this way?_

I barely manage to repress a sigh, though I do double check my scanners, just to be safe. 

_Laserbeak: Yes, the Aerialbots are heading down the hallway now. Good thing you moved when you did._

I watch with glee as the Aerialbots make their way towards the entrance of the Ark, oblivious to the colourfully impending doom. 

Time seems to slow down as the sensors all activate, I rigged them to open the faux ceiling panels only once all five had been set off so the Aerialbots would get hit simultaneously, and Fireflight is the only one to look up as the paint/glitter bombs fall. The bombs hit their targets, and just as they burst open, horrifically bright sparkly paint exploding everywhere, time returns to normal. The pain completely coats the Aerialbots, and they're left standing just before the entrance in various states of shock. 

_Laserbeak: That was amazing. We should do this more often._

I can tell Bluestreak is thrilled that it worked, despite all the worrying he continues to do about being caught and the like. 

_Bluestreak: Yes it was. You're sure you disabled the cameras and everything, right?_

I silently scoff at the unintentional insult, as if I'd forget to loop the cameras for when Bluestreak was setting up the prank. I grew up with Rumble, Frenzy, and Skywarp for Primus' sake! 

_Laserbeak: No, Bluestreak. I completely forgot._

I can practically see Bluestreak wince at my caustic reply. 

_Bluestreak: Sorry, sorry, I just worry._

I follow the Aerialbots as they head towards the washracks, their furious swearing making me oddly happy. 

_Laserbeak: Yeah, I know. Wanna do another one later?_


	34. Human Element: The Perils of E-Mail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumble, Frenzy, and Soundwave, all learn something about humans they would have been more happy never, ever knowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Spoken aloud (can be Cybertronian or English)"  
> Part of the "Human Element AU" (*cough* see the chapter title *cough*) which is so named because I made their human names element-related.

"EEWWWWW!" 

I look over to see Rumble flinch away from his laptop, "Primus above that's _disgusting_ get it _away!"_

I walk over, curious as to what could have possibly provoked such a reaction from _Rumble_ of all mechs, and I see he's got an email open. 

It's not from anyone we know, and the title is "hey there, wanna meet up?" 

In the email itself is... 

Primus... 

"WHY WOULD YOU HAVE AN EMAIL LIKE THAT!?" 

Rumble's still resolutely _not_ staring at the screen, "I don't know! It was in my inbox and I thought one of the other 'Cons had been assigned to our mission and chose a really weird name so I opened it! I didn't _know_ that it had _this_ in it!" 

I shudder and turn away from the screen, "That's the most ridiculous excuse ever, though coming from you it's actually believable." 

Rumble glares at me, "Hey!" 

Just then Soundwave comes in, and Rumble and I freeze. He looks at us in confusion, and then ever so slowly turn to look at Rumble's laptop. He stares in shocked horror, and abruptly turns around and walks back out of the room without a word. 

I catch a glimpse of the screen in my peripheral vision, and follow Soundwave out of the room, "Block the sender, and next time you get an email from a random person _don't open it!"_

Even though I'm a room over I can hear Rumble's disgusted response, "How was I supposed to know it was from a porn star?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> I've had this happen to me :'( Poor, poor Rumble.


	35. Human Element: Licences and Little Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Semi-direct (as in 3 weeks later) sequel to "Road Testing."  
> Human Element AU.  
> Ravage sneaks in for no reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -.-.-.-.-.- = brief time break  
>  **[PoV Character]**  
>  "Spoken English"

**[Frenzy]**

"Why do we have to go through this _again?"_

I glare at Rumble sullenly, "Because getting a driver's licence is an important part of being a teenager and will allow a level of freedom previously unknown while also bestowing a great deal of unwanted responsibility on us at the exact same time." 

Soundwave hums quietly in approval at my automatic response. 

Rumble just sighs, "Humans suck." 

I look at the lady behind the counter from our spot in line, and I wait until right before she turns to us to straighten up and smile a smile that I _know_ freaks humans out. She turn, sees me, and freezes. A co-worker drops something, and she looks down for a second, enough time for me to return to my slouched/normal teenager position, and she looks at me warily before returning her attention to the next customer. 

Rumble nudges me, "Stop making all the humans paranoid you idiot." 

I glance around casually, "What're you talking about? I'm just being myself." 

Rumble scoffs, "Exactly." 

Soundwave glances down at us, "Behave." 

We both look up at him before sullenly turning away from each other. 

"Next." 

Soundwave nudges us, and we walk up to he female waiting behind the counter for us. Unfortunately it's not the human that I scared. Fortunately, she seems to know who we are already. 

"H-hello, Mr. Wave. Ferris. R-rhen." 

Rumble looks at the lady cheerfully, "Hello Miss! How are you doing today? I hope you're not as gloomy as the weather," he gestures out the window to the pouring rain streaming by, "that would be a shame! It's the first day of autumn! Season of warm colours! Cheer up Miss, I'm sure everything will get better!" 

The lady stares at Rumble, her eyes never leaving him as she cautiously hands over forms identical to the ones we got last time. 

I sigh and sign my name, ignoring Rumble as he cheerfully scribbles his. 

The lady smiles nervously as she takes the papers back, "Gary will be out in a minute, have a seat please." 

I can feel Rumble's glee leaking over our bond, and I sigh quietly. Hopefully Gary won't be too traumatised to test me after seeing Rumble again. 

I look up just as Gary comes out. He spots Rumble, and stops walking. Rumble stand up with a smile and strides over to Gary. 

Gary backs up a step nervously, "Y-you-" he points a shaky finger at Rumble, "-I refuse to test y-you!" 

Rumble smiles gently, "Come on, Gary, if the world can supposedly end in a day why can't I learn to drive in three weeks?" 

Gary shudders as Rumble mentions the world ending, and the lady that gave up the papers leans over to whisper something to him. Little does she know we can hear her, "Gary, if you pass them then we'll never have to see them again. Just make it through the next hour and a half, and you'll be fine." 

Rumble and I exchange a glance, and Gary twitches. 

He does his best to smile, "So, who's first?" 

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I sigh as Gary nervously asks me to do all the stupid checks to make sure I know how to use Soundwave's alt-mode. 

"Is your foot on the brake? Because the brake lights aren't on." 

I look out the window and back at Gary, "My foot's on the brake, Gray." 

He looks at me, then at the rear end of Soundwave's alt, then back at me. "Are you sure?" 

I glare at him, and he holds up his hands, "I'm just saying! Your brake light's aren't on! It's probably just a disconnected wire or something..." He trails off and pokes Soundwave, eliciting an angry roar of the engine. 

I sigh and rest my head in my hands, "Really, Sounders?" 

The engine dies down to a sullen grumble, and I can _feel_ Soundwave searching his systems for the problem. His satisfaction is obvious, and I hear a surprised "Oh!" from Gary. 

I look back at him, and he's looking at me with an expression that conveys complete terror, "They're working." 

I don't bother answering, and instead unlock the passenger's side door. Gary slowly walks around and carefully opens the door. He even more carefully settles his weight in the passenger's seat, though I can still feel Soundwave's disgust flare up briefly. 

Gary slowly puts his seatbelt on and settles down, "Alright, let's get started." 

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I slowly pull into the parking lot, reversing into a stall just outside the insurance building. Gary, much calmer now than he was at the beginning, smiles and looks over his/my grading sheet. "Okay, so, good news is you passed." Thank Primus, now I can _finally-_ wait. _Good_ news? As in, there's _bad_ news too? Sure enough, Gary's next words are, "Bad news is you still have a few things to work on." 

I twitch, and Gary continues on, oblivious to his rapidly approaching demise. 

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**[Rumble]**

I knew I should have gone first. Now I have to take the test in Dead End again, and Soundwave's off sitting on top of Frenzy once more. The insurance ladies were quite happy to let him calm down before filling out the rest of the paperwork and taking his photo. 

I wonder if there are any restrictions that can be placed on the licence, like medical ones. 

Perhaps Frenzy's apparent mental instability around Gary has its own shorthand? 

Despite how hilarious that would be, I regretfully doubt such shorthand's existence. 

I cheerfully bounce alongside Dead End (once again drugged up so as not to blow our cover), and watch as Gary approaches me warily. Maybe it's a good thing Frenzy went first. Now Gary's had a chance to calm down a bit. 

"Hello, Rhen," He says quietly before gesturing to Dead End, "let's start, shall we?" 

I smile and nod before happily opening the door and buckling in. We go through all the basic functions of Dead End, and I can honestly say I now know how to push all of his buttons, or, at least, the biggest and most obvious ones (I labelled them all earlier with pink duct tape and bright green Sharpie). 

I know Frenzy is normally the more cheerful and spastic one, but I find mentally torturing humans so much more fun than he does. What's more mentally painful than horribly contrasting neon colours? And on a sports car no less? 

Gary flinches when he sees my labels, and I quietly smile. 

Gary directs me out onto the main road, and I can tell he's prepared to leap out of Dead End should I drive on the wrong side of the road again. I subtly lock the doors and pull onto the correct side of the road. I can see Gary relax a bit, and start humming quietly, only to stop and look innocently at Gary when he stares. "Is there a problem, Gary?" 

He looks worried, but shakes his head anyways, "No. Turn left here." 

I turn left, and quietly make a good imitation (for a human) of a screeching tire. 

Garry looks at me again, and I stop just as he looks at me. "Seriously, Garry, is something wrong?" 

He shakes his head and grimaces, "No. When it's safe to do so, please pull over and park." 

I nod, remembering the instructions from what Frenzy told me of his test. 

As much as I want to scare Gary into having a heart attack, I don't want to fail the same day Frenzy passed. 

I'll settle for mental torture. 

I slow to a crawl, and then brake quickly as a small girl runs out in front of us chasing a black cat. I leap out of Dead End and tackle the girl just as she makes it onto the road, and shield her from oncoming traffic, curling myself around her. 

I hear screeching tires, and gather my holoform's energy in my back to try and protect the girl, but nothing hits me. I slowly uncurl, and look around at the mess of cars. Then I look down at the girl, and am surprised to see black hair, pale white skin, and glowing red eyes. "Good job brother," whispers the girl in Ravage's voice before her eyes fade to a dull amber, and I stare in surprise. What the frag? 

Gary stumbles over, "Oh my goodness, Rhen, you have amazing reflexes. Let's get this girl looked after and call an ambulance for everyone else, shall we?" 

I look up at him, still puzzling over why Ravage would do this, and nod. Gary offers the girl/Ravage a hand up, but she shies away from him and curls up into me. Gary stares at me for a moment before pulling out a cell phone and dialling 9-1-1. 

Then Gary walks back over, "We're not too far from the insurance agency. Once everything here is settled, how about we head back and fill out your forms." 

I stare at him, seriously? Just like that, I passed? 

I grin, and Gary looks nervous again. 

The girl/Ravage silently laughs as she picks up my thoughts, and I hers. 

I am _so_ holding this over Frenzy. 

Forever will I be able to tease him about getting my licence without so much as a single critique, and all because I saved a little girl. Granted, that girl was Ravage, but he doesn't need to know that. 

Ravage quietly laughs, and we happily imagine tormenting Frenzy until the end of his days. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rumble's original plan was to make his own soundtrack for the test, but decided against it. And then Ravage happened, so it wouldn't have mattered anyways.


	36. Human Element: Ruthenium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very short shorts about Ravage in my Human Element AU.  
> The following shorts are _not_ in chronological order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -.-.-.-.- =time break  
>  **[PoV Character]**  
>  "spoken aloud"

**[Frenzy]**

"This is stupid." 

I look over at Rumble with a smirk, "We're _are_ learning about human culture." 

He shoots me a _look,_ "Yeah, but this is basically pointless bickering!" 

Ravage's little human girl form turns around and shushes us, "At least their arguments are entertaining. Yours are boring." 

We all look back at the screen as one of the characters, a blue one named Caboose, shoots his commanding officer, Church, with a tank. _Accidentally._

The other person on their team, Tucker, shouts profanity-filled abuse at Caboose for killing their leader. 

I look down at Ravage, "Okay, we've never gone _that_ far, but this is hardly interesting." 

The little holoform manages to glare back at me with surprising anger, "Shut. Up. I like it. I'm watching it. You don't like it? _Go away."_

Rumble and I exchange a nervous glance once Ravage turns back to the T.V. 

Who'd have thought Ravage liked Red vs. Blue? 

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**[Rumble]**

"Umm... Ravage?" 

Her freakishly adorable face tilts back to look at me, "What?" 

I look obviously at her, laying on her back in the middle of our driveway and covered in happily purring cats. 

She glances down at the cats, and looks back at me with a blissful expression. "I am their _queen."_

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**[Frenzy]**

I look down at Ravage, examining her holoform with unusual intensity as something occurs to me. "Ravage?" 

She look up at me in irritation, "What?" 

I keep staring, taking in her big amber eyes, curly black hair, and exceeding pale skin. "Why's your holo a little human girl?" 

She focuses her full attention on me, "Excuse me?" 

I stare back unflinchingly, "You heard me. Why not a cat or something?" 

She looks back at me with an unreadable expression, and then, ever so slowly, a terrifying smile forms. "I am, as you so eloquently put it, a little human girl, because most human adults will see me as too young and innocent to do most of what I do. I am the perfect agent. Additionally," her smile softens, becoming one of amusement rather than evil, "I can't slap you without hands." 

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**[Rumble]**

I wince as Ravage glares up at Soundwave, "Really? You're naming my human form _Ruth?"_

Soundwave looks unperturbed. "Affirmative." 

She twitches, her black curls bouncing slightly, "What is it with you and choosing human names based on elements?" 

Rumble steps forwards, "Wait, Ruth is related to an element?" 

Ravage snorts, "Yes, you half-wit. Ruthenium. Atomic number 44. Group 8. Period 5. Weight, 101.07. Density in grams per centimetre cubed, 12.37. Melting point, in degrees Kelvin, 2607. Boiling point, also in degrees Kelvin, 4423. Electronegativity, 2.2. _Ruthenium."_

Soundwave looks impressed, while Rumble and I are staring at her in shock. "How-?" 

She stares at me, "Wikipedia." I continue to stare, and she sighs, "We _do_ have internet connection here, you know." 

Rumble giggles, "Whatever you say _Ruth."_ He continues to giggle as she pounces on him with a snarl. 

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**[Soundwave]**

"Hey, Ruth!" 

I look back at a girl that looks to be the same age as Ravage's holoform shouts at us while running towards us. Ravage sighs quietly, "Oh, _her."_

I stare down at her in amusement, but the human catches up to us before I can say anything. 

"Hi Ruth! I just wanted to say goodbye and I know we said goodbye in class but I also wanted to meet your dad and this looks like your dad and hello Ruth's dad it's nice to meet you I really like Ruth and we're good friends how are you?" 

I smile gently down at the girl, well aware of how easily frightened young human children are, "I am Sam. It's nice to meet you." 

Ravage slowly turns towards the girl, and I can see her mentally bringing up her human personality in order to civilly talk to the young girl. "Hey Rebecca," She says as she immerses herself fully in the personality, "this is my dad. His name's actually Samuel, but he likes Sam 'cause it's shorter." 

The newly designated Rebecca nods sagely, "Shorter names are always easier to remember and it's nice to meet you Sam though I think I'll still call you Ruth's dad, or could I call you Mr. Wave? Because calling you Sam seems kind of weird because you're not an adult I know really well and the other adults I don't know really well are all teachers and I call them by their last names so I feel like I should do the same to you." 

I keep smiling and nod, "You may call me Mr. Wave if you so wish." 

Rebecca smiles happily, and starts walking backwards, "Okay then, it was nice to meet you Mr. Wave I just wanted to say hi and I've gotta go because I have piano practice and I can't be late and my mom will get mad so bye and I'll see you tomorrow Ruth!" 

Ravage smiles and waves cheerfully after Rebecca, "By Becky!" 

We watch the small child run back to her obviously impatient mother before turning away and walking back to my alt-mode. Ravage disconnects from her Ruth personality once we're in my alt-mode and in no danger of having to talk to any more of her class mates. 

"Primus she's as bad as that Autobots gunner!" 

I look down at Ravage with a wry grin, "Ruth. Obviously counted as a friend. Ruth's behaviour. Indicated fondness for Rebecca. Ruth. Must expect affections directed at herself." 

Ravage scoffs, "Just because I can tolerate it as Ruth doesn't mean I like it as Ravage. The only reason I let Ruth like her is because she's actually pretty smart, despite being the human version of Bluestreak." 

I simply smile at her, "Suggestion. Don't let Rumble or Frenzy know." 

Ravage groans, "No need to tell me that. I'd never hear the end of it! Friends with a _human._ " 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	37. The Perils of Unauthorized Tree Climbing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prowl's not happy. Soudnwave's not happy. Rumble and Frenzy were happy, but now they're not. Megatron is the only one that ends up happy.  
> or  
> Why Small Decepticons Climbing Trees in Oregon (And Thus Close to the Ark) is a Bad Idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tree in question is a Redwood/Sequoia, and I know that they don't have very thick branches. Please pretend that, for the sake of this short, they do.
> 
>  _name: comm talk_  
>  -.-.-.-.-.-.- =time break

"Rumble, what are you doing?" 

From his perch several hundred feet in the air Rumble glares down at Frenzy. "What does it look like I'm doing you half-bit?" 

Frenzy stares carefully up at his seemingly insane twin, "Climbing a tree?" 

Rumble snorts and goes back to climbing, "You make it sound like you're not sure." 

Frenzy tilts his head sideways, as though that will help him understand what he's looking at, "I'm stuck on the 'why' part actually." 

Rumble scoffs, but doesn't stop climbing, "Why not?" 

After a moment Frenzy shrugs and starts climbing up after his brother. 

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Prowl didn't expect to actually find any Decepticons climbing trees, regardless of what the reports said. He honestly did not see why any Decepticon in their right processor would engage in such a ludicrous activity to begin with. 

That's why, upon arriving at the tree in question, he nearly locked-up when he saw that there were, in fact, two Decepticons bickering on rather slim branches several hundred feet above the ground. 

_Prowl: Prowl to the Ark._

Of course it would be these two, he thought resignedly. Out of all the Decepticons there are very few that would ever consider climbing a tree to be a suitable recreational activity, and even fewer that would actually be capable of it. 

_Sideswipe: Yo, Copper, what's up?_

Had the humans standing around been able to read Cybertronian body-language they would have all started running away at the very visible tension that came with the sound of Sideswipe's voice. 

_Prowl: Sideswipe. I was unaware you had the comms today._

Prowl stared up in silent fury at the two little Decepticons currently responsible for his situation, and he was oh-so-tempted to shoot them, tree be damned, when a giggling Frenzy threw a twig down in his direction. 

_Sideswipe: Yeah, well, I owed Blaster a favour. So? What's the situation? Are there really two 'Cons in a tree?_

Prowl ran plan after plan through his processors, trying almost desperately to find some way to make this day end. It was supposed to be his day off. Why couldn't he ever get a day where nothing strange or bad happened? Why? Was it really too much to ask? 

Then a grin that would have made every single Cybertronian, Autobot and Decepticon alike, run screaming in the opposite direction crossed his faceplates. 

_Prowl: Nevermind, Sideswipe. I will deal with the issue shortly._

He knew exactly who to call. 

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Soundwave was not pleased, to say the least. 

On a normal day he found that he could ignore Rumble and Frenzy semi-easily, despite their many antics. 

On a bad day he found locking them in a box strangely therapeutic. 

Today? No. Today was beyond bad. 

Getting a call from the Autobot Second in Command was not expected, but something he could deal with without having to stop what he was doing. 

Having that call turn out to be about his twins climbing a tree in the same human-state as the Autobot base like those freakishly hairy primates _and_ _then_ have to stop filling out the endless piles of datapads shoved onto him by both Megatron _and_ Starcream was not something he would have ever wished to deal with. 

He could have his creations contacted over their bond, but Prowl had called him personally. This was not something he could let slide. A show of control would be required. 

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Rumble glances over at Frenzy with something that could be counted as worry, "He hasn't moved in a while. What'd you think he's doing?" 

Frenzy snickers and drops another twig, "Who cares? It's not like he can get us up here. He can't shoot because we're not technically hurting anything, and he's way too big to climb up here." 

Rumble increases his optical strength and peers down at the seemingly frozen black and white Autobot. "I think he's smiling." 

Frenzy pauses and stares at Rumble, "Smiling?" 

Rumble leans forwards a bit, "Yeah, he's definitely smiling. It's freaking me out." 

The branch Frenzy's sitting on creaks as he leans forwards to stare more carefully down at Prowl, "Wow, he is. Wonder what's got him so happy." 

A quiet rumble has the twins looking up, though they can't see the sky from their perch. Their not high enough, and neither are willing to risk climbing any higher than they currently are. They're bored, not suicidal. 

The rumble dies down, and Rumble and Frenzy exchange a nervous glance. Prowl couldn't have called in a flier, there's no way a winged mech would be able to avoid damaging anything. 

Then their vents stall as the ominously quiet form of Soundwave comes to stand next to Prowl. 

Rumble and Frenzy subconsciously enhance their audial receptors so they can more easily hear what the two mechs are saying. 

"Soundwave. Thanks Prowl for calling." 

Soundwave sure as the fragging Pit doesn't actually _sound_ grateful, but only someone that knows him would be able to tell. 

Prowl doesn't know Soundwave, and interprets the words as the compliment they're not meant to be. "Of course. I figured this would be the most effective course of action." 

The twins can imagine their creator's grimace, "Indeed." 

Soundwave looks up at the twins, well aware of their not-so-subtle eavesdropping, "Rumble. Frenzy. Return." 

The twins don't even hesitate, they start making their way carefully down to their exceedingly unhappy creator. At least no humans are around, they all left rather quickly when Soundwave appeared. 

It seems like forever until their pedes touch the ground, and when they finally do Soundwave turns from glaring at them to glare at Prowl. "Prowl's assistance. Most helpful." Rumble and Frenzy exchange a glance at their creator's blatant disrespect, it's a very good thing nobody can tell a sarcastic Soundwave from a normal Soundwave. "Soundwave. Will take it from here." 

Prowl nods, and with one last disdainful look at the twins he walks away. As soon as the sounds of his engine fade away Soundwave turns back to his wayward creations. "Rumble. Frenzy. Return to base. We have much to discuss." 

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Megatron quietly hums a jaunty tune as he walks down the hall from his office to his private quarters, inordinately pleased at the amount of progress Soundwave made with all of the datapads and organization work he couldn't bring himself to do. 

If he didn't know any better, he'd say his TIC had help. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	38. Halloween With Soundwave & Co.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little Halloween something with everyone, despite it not being Halloween, because I forgot to post this at Halloween. I even included Ratbat, whom I always (unintentionally) neglect... though his short's a little sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [name]:bond talk:
> 
> "SHOUTING/SHRIEKING/SCRAEMING IN TERROR" (presumably in English, though you can pretend it's a different language if you want)
> 
> Central solid line is a PoV change  
> -.-.-.- =time change  
>  **PoV Character: Name of Short**

**Frenzy: Failed Recon**

Frenzy had never understood the humans' fascination with ghosts, ghouls, and other ghastly creatures.  
Looking out at the little human town, all decorated in mutilated round-ish, orange organic plants; various white pieces of cloth; fake dead bodies, sometimes with equally fake additions like "bloody" weapons or police tape; and a variety of plastic things meant to resemble bats, skeletons, and anything else that could possibly considered "creepy;" Frenzy realized that his lack of understanding was unlikely to change anytime soon.  
Unless he asked a human, that is.  
He began plotting, growing ever-more eager to finally figure out this strange human tradition. He had figured out Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Remembrance day (that one'd been the easiest); Frenzy was going to figure out Halloween, and nothing the humans did would possibly be able to stop him. 

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"Hey, nice costume!"  
Frenzy nodded at the fourth little human child to compliment him on his "costume" that evening. He'd actually forgotten that the night of all his troubles was _tonight._ Frenzy'd assumed he'd be able to use intimidation to his favour, but considering the whole point of this tradition was to see who could scare who, he doubted his ability to scare anyone.  
Even if he tried, the target(s) would simply assume he wasn't a "real" Decepticon, and actually shooting someone to prove he was would make it a little hard to get the answeres he wanted.  
Frenzy walked around a little glumly, unable to seriously question anybody, and unable to actually eat the candy being given out. 

Halloween just wasn't his night. 

* * *

**Ravage: How to be a Lawn Ornament**

Ravage seriously hated the Autobots. Detested them. Completely, and utterly despised them. 

She was going to destroy them. 

Just as soon as someone rescued her. 

She was stuck to the side of the Ark's entrance, all four paws stuck to the ground. Her transformation cog was disabled (not that her alt-mode would have been very useful), and that damn medic had locked all her gears and joints except for those in her helm, neck, and tail. 

It was Halloween night, and the Autobots had decided to, after somehow managing to capture her, use her as a decoration to scare the humans. 

Sadly enough, a few hours into being a decoration, Ravage was actually enjoying her temporary job. 

She'd stay perfectly still, letting them walk closer without so much as twitching, and then, right when they thought she was a simple static decoration she'd snarl and snap at them. 

Their shrieks were bliss against her audials. 

She didn't actually hurt them, she was paralyzed and at the mercy of the Autobots after all, but she had a fair bit of fun. 

Not that she'd ever admit to it, of course. 

And she was still going to obliterate the Autobots. 

* * *

**_Laserbeak, Rumble, & Buzzsaw: Bad Candy_**

Laserbeak stared incredulously at Rumble, "You did _what?"_

Rumble winced, and then glared at Buzzsaw as he started snickering. 

[Rumble]: It's not _that_ funny Buzzer!: 

Buzzsaw starts laughing even harder at Rumble's inability to speak aloud, "Sure thing Rummy." 

Laserbeak sighs, "You know we're going to have to take you to either Soundwave or Hook." 

Rumble slumps in defeat. 

[Rumble]: Yeah, okay.: 

Laserbeak looks at her bi-pedal twin with something that could possibly be sympathy (but only if one was very good at squinting), "I know that you get urges, Rumble, and I know that it is Halloween, but why you thought it'd be a good idea to try human gummies I doubt I'll ever know." 

* * *

**Ratbat: The Perils of Vampires**

Ratbat landed quietly in a tree to observe the crowded street, staring happily at all the little human children dressed up for their strange holiday. A few minutes later a little girl dressed as a bat looked up and spotted him. "Mommy mommy! Look! It's a real bat! And he's got glowing eyes!" 

The mother sighed and looked up, obviously not expecting to see Ratbat staring curiously down at her. 

She stared in shock for a moment, then pointed and shrieked, "THERE'S A VAMPIRE IN THE TREE!" 

Ratbat frowned and glided down, quite prepared to tell the lady that he was definitely not an imaginary bloodsucking undead creature created by humans to scare each other, but once he came into view of the people in the street they all started running away screaming. 

The little girl that'd originally spotted him was lifted up and carried away by her terrified mother, and she waved farewell at Ratbat over her mother's shoulder. Ratbat waved a wing back at her, and she smiled at him. It was sweet, and he considered following her so he could talk to someone that wasn't afraid of him, maybe ask a few questions about Halloween. 

Then a bullet hit him in the back, and he turned and saw a man holding a shotgun. 

He sighed and took off, speeding away into the night and away from the humans and their strange customs. 

* * *

**Soundwave: Lonely Ghost**

Soundwave sighed and stared at the monitor. 

All his cassettes were out doing Halloween related things. 

The other Decepticons were all getting overcharged and eating little energon treats that had been made by various mechs. 

That left Soundwave to sit in the command center and monitor _everything._

_Alone._

He quietly sighed again and glanced at the cameras showing the current state of the rec-room. 

Most of the mechs were very, _very_ overcharged by now. The tables were covered in empty cubes, and there were several platters with half-eaten treats scattered about the room. 

The Combaticons were having a very intense looking thumb war in a corner. 

The Stunticons were singing obscure racing songs in voices Soundwave was quite sure he was glad he couldn't hear. 

The Constructicons were trying to build a tower out of empty energon cubes, and failing miserably because they all had the balance of an Earth bird that's just flown into a window. 

The Seekers were all in a corner (the one opposite the Combaticons) cuddling and sharing treats. 

Even Lord Megatron was there, though he had been foolish enough to challenge the triple changers to a drinking contest. 

Loyalty to his lord or not, Soundwave was quite certain Megatron was going to lose. 

Badly. 

He was pondering heading to his (sadly empty) quarters, and Primus help them all if the Autobots decided to do anything. 

He had managed to get all the way to his quarters and open the door, shoving away the loneliness he was feeling, when he heard the unmistakable sound of squabbling in his room. 

The loneliness quickly faded as he opened the door and saw Rumble, Laserbeak, and Buzzsaw sitting on his berth. Rumble was trying to grab Buzzsaw, but was being restrained by a grinning Laserbeak. 

As he entered the trio froze, all turning to stare at him in a variety of amusing poses. 

Laserbeak spoke first, "Rumble's got human candy gumming up his voice box." 

As if Laserbeak's announcement were magic, the trio started moving again, resuming their previous struggle. 

Soundwave smiled beneath his visor and battle mask. 

Perhaps he wouldn't be so lonely tonight after all. 


	39. Snippets of Life (Human Element mentioned)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of random drabbles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Centered solid lines are PoV/AU changes.  
> "spoken aloud"
> 
> The Strange Adventures of Sheila the D-Con Swim Instructor is a story I have on FanFiction.net that I haven't posted here yet (probably won't till it's done, which will be a while). All you need to know is that the D'Cons have abducted a human and are being oddly nice to her (it's making everybody else suspicious), and during her first meeting with Ravage no words were exchanged and Ravage acted like herself (so, and intimidating giant cat).

**Human Element AU**

**-.-.-**

"Frenzy, for the last time, _stop bothering me!"_

Frenzy quirks an eyebrow (something he's gotten remarkably good at) "What's eating you?" 

Rumble snarls wordlessly at him and stalks to their bedroom, flopping down onto his bed with an aggravated sigh, "I just need some time to write this thing, and every time I sit down something _always_ manages to come up." 

Frenzy stares at Rumble in disbelief, "You're writing a _thing?"_

Rumble nods from his flop on the bed, "Yup." 

Frenzy crosses his arms and tilts his head, "What kind of _thing,_ exactly?" 

The bed creaks as Rumble shifts a little nervously and looks up at Frenzy, "A literature thing." 

Frenzy's stance gets more disproving, "Well, considering you're _writing_ something I would think that it would automatically make it a literature thing." 

A glare answers that response, and Rumble throws up his hands, "Okay! Fine! I'm trying to write about the Cybertronian history, but in a way that I don't find painfully boring, and since the history I have to read is like research I don't find it as hard to read." 

Frenzy stares, "You're what?" 

A scoff from Rumble, "Writing a history thing." 

Frenzy rolls his eyes, "Again with the word _thing."_

Rumble gives his a semi-amused look, "Yeah, I know, and I haven't been referring to you once." 

An arrogant head tilt has Frenzy looking mock-disdainfully down at Rumble, "Well, I'll _try_ to give you some time for this _thing_ of yours, seeing as you're so obnoxiously dedicated to it." 

Rumble grins, "Thanks, Frenz." 

* * *

**The Strange Adventures of Sheila the D-Con Swim Instructor AU**

-.-.- 

"You bought a what?" 

Sheila grins and looks at the little white kitten purring contently in the passenger's seat, "A cat." 

The phone goes quiet for a moment before Rumble's voice echoes disbelievingly down, "A cat? Why the frag would you buy a cat? Isn't Ravage enough for you?" 

Sheila winces, "Yeah, well, Ravage isn't here to terrify me into fearing cats, so I thought I'd get an adorable one of my own." 

Rumble snickers, "Being around Ravage will not cause you to develop a cat-phobia." 

Sheila shudders, "Yeah right. Remember the first time I met her? She nearly took my head off with her tail!" 

A sigh, "It was a scratch, Sheila." 

"It was bleeding for over an hour." 

"Still just a scratch." 

"From her _tail,_ Rumble. Her _tail."_

"You're such a wuss." 

"Says the million year old Cybertronian to the twenty year old human." 

"Still." 

"Still nothing. I'm keeping my cat, and I hope he sheds _everywhere_ once we get beck to the Nemesis." 

* * *

**Random AU**

-.-.-  
"Hey, bro, you ready for Thanksgiving?" 

Rumble gives Frenzy a _look,_ "Uh, Thanksgiving was in October. Second Monday of the month? Ring any bells?" 

Frenzy scoffs, "Oh, you mean the _Canadian_ Thanksgiving, I was talking about the _real_ one. You know, the one declared in 1863 by Abraham Lincoln himself?" 

Rumble glares, "The American's Thanksgiving is not more or less real than the Canadian's, merely different." 

Frenzy smirks, "Well then how come the American one was created 94 years _before_ the Canadian one?" 

Rumble rolls his optics, "Maybe because the Americans, embroiled in a Civil War, wanted to have a day off to treasure what they had while the Canadians, who got their independence by _asking nicely_ , didn't realize that having such a day would be quite so important until after experiencing two World Wars." 

Frenzy stares, "That was deep, bro." 

Rumble sighs and goes back to his internal game of Angry Birds with an angry mutter, "Someone in this family has to be." 

* * *

**Random AU *** Warning* Battle Scenes 

-.-.-  
Ravage ducks around bloodied (energonied?) pedes of prone frontliners and leaps over the remains of buildings and offline mechs. She weaves through laserfire and skulkes in the shadows. Her optics never flicker, her gait never wavers. She had to get back to Soundwave with the information she's stolen, otherwise the Autobots will win this battle. 

There! Ravage wants more than anything to rush over to her creator, but she knows that this close to him there will be a greater chance of slipping up and ruining everything. She ducks behind the jagged remains of a wall and peers around at the path she'll need to take to get to Soundwave. Megatron isn't too far away, using his massive flail and crushing Autobots left and right. Soundwave is grappling with a mech that's made it past his guards, and in a klick the Autobot is screaming and clutching his helm. Soundwave pulls out his rarely used energy dagger and finishesd off the mech with ease before focusing once more on directing the battle. 

Ravage streaks to another bit of cover, the greyed out frame of a large tank-former. The massive frame easily hides Ravage's far smaller one, and she eyes the battle going on around her. A dull glint, only there for a mere klick, catches her optics. They're here. She has to warn Soundwave _now_. 

Ravage scans the battle one more time before bolting towards her creator, her battle instincts the only thing keeping her online as she weaves through the fury and carnage of warring mecha. With a massive leap Ravage soars over the frame of the mech Soundwave offlined mere moments before, the colour already gone from it, to skids to a halt at her creator's pedes. Without a word he pops his chest compartment, opening it just enough for her to slide inside. The information she's gathered is transferred to Soundwave instantly, and after a few klicks to integrate the new knowledge Ravage is back out on the battlefield. The battle shifts as Soundwave issues a new line of orders to accommodate what Ravage told him, and he sends the quickest pulse of _relief/gratitude_ to her before sealing their bond again. 

Ravage sprints away from him, running to where she'll be the most help. As she runs she leaps onto a smaller mech, toppling him and shooting him in the helm with her shoulder blaster before he can fire on Rumble. Her sibling doesn't even acknowledge her, he just keeps on smashing Autobots. She knows he'll remember, and it'll be just another thing to reinforce their bond. 

Ravage continues on, making her way to where she knows the shuttle will land. Based on the glint she saw and its probable speed, and assuming it will make it past the Seekers to the ground, it should land just on the outskirts of the battle, behind one of the few remaining buildings. 

As she runs Ravage watches the shuttle appear over the building, and she marks the event for later, ensuring she'll remember to tell Starscream about it. A way to find and destroy a shuttle capable of semi-cloaking will need to be discovered quickly, and Shockwave has never been one of Soundwave's allies. 

She manages to sneak past the few Autobots guarding the area and to where she can see the shuttle land. The doors are open before it hits the ground, and out comes Ironhide and the Twins, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. Behind them are Jazz and Ratchet, then Prowl. Last comes Optimus Prime himself, and the group quickly break off to join the battle. Jazz and Ratchet are one group, Prowl and the Twins another, and Ironhide and Optimus the third. Ravage sends a quick pulse to Soundwave. 

_They're here._

A quick sense of acknowledgement comes down to her, and she can hear the roar of Optimus as he tries to rally his troops. Megatron's answering bellow is easily heard, and she can only hope that she got the information to Soundwave in time to salvage the battle. 


	40. Whoops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wheeljack creates a successful weapon.  
> Ish.  
> Soundwave learns first-hand what it does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -.-.-.-.-.- = perspective change  
> Idea based on https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690915/5/Plot-Bunnies-Unleashed **(it's the second short down)**

Soundwave looks up at the battlefield for a brief moment, in time to see one of Wheeljack's latest inventions being thrown at Lord Megatron. 

He mentally swears and charges at his lord, taking the few steps necessary to put himself between the mysterious device and the grey gunformer. He feels the device connect with his chestplate, and has enough time to send a quick thanks to Primus that none of his creations are currently with him before everything goes white, and then black. 

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Ravage looks up at the flash, and freezes as she feels the bond with her creator fade a little. She snarls and charges across the battlefield, having no trouble weaving in and out of pedes as everyone stops to stare at the place Soundwave had stood moment before. Megatron is staring too, except he's staring at Wheeljack, optics conveying his intent to dismantle the mech that seems to have destroyed his most loyal and competent officer. 

Ravage managed to get to the spot, and there's a semi-large crater where Soundwave had been, a low layer of dust hiding what lies within the crater. Ravage leans forwards, hoping to catch sight of her beloved creator through the dust, and she feels a curious prod from Soundwave's side of the bond. 

It feels... wrong. 

Rumble and Frenzy find their ways to her side, but she ignores them in favour of prodding Soundwave's end of the bond. It still feels like Soundwave... but it isn't the same. It's like he has somehow become... younger? 

Ravage leaps into the crater while Rumble and Frenzy watch, disappearing in a swirl of dust. Laserbeak and Buzzsaw fly careful circles overhead, monitoring the battlefield. It wouldn't do for one of them to get hurt because someone was intelligent enough to take advantage of the situation. 

Ravage creeps along the bottom of the crater, circling the spot where she could feel the _Soundwave-not-Soundwave_. A little figure crawls towards her, and Ravage can't help but stare. It looks like a tiny Soundwave, visor and everything. There's even a little Decepticon insignia on his chest. 

Suddenly, above her, there is a loud roar from Megatron, and the furious sounds of battle resume. Rumble and Frenzy jump down into the crater alongside Ravage, hoping to see the cause of her shock, as well as remain hidden from the warring mechs above by the layer of dust still floating around. 

Rumble goes to say something, but catches sight of mini-Soundwave. "Holy frag," he hisses, staring at his creator in a mixture of shock and horror, "Soundwave's a _sparkling?"_

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Megatron snarls, shoving past a screaming Autobot, and heads straight for the engineer. 

That engineer is the reason his comrade (maybe friend, if there were such things in war) is gone. Megatron grabs a minibot as it runs at him and, without breaking his stride, hurls the red mech at the engineer. 

He will make that damned blinky headed mech _pay._


	41. Christmas with the 'Cons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is a time for... snooping? And STIs? (Systematically Transmitted Infections)  
> What is going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this wasn't posted during Christmas. I forgot I'd written it.  
> -.-.-.-.- - perspective change  
> "Spoken aloud"
> 
>  
> 
> **Disclaimer: I don't own Christmas. Sorry for potentially mis-using the Christmas Spirit.**

"Uhhh... Lord Megatron?" 

The grey warlord looks down at Rumble, "Yes, Rumble?" 

Rumble glances around the Command Center in confusion, eyeing the glittering decorations and round flash baubles warily. "What are you doing?" 

Megatron crouches down, looking at Rumble in confusion, and speaks very slowly, as if talking to a young sparkling, "Decorating. The. Command. Center." 

Rumble huffs and crosses his arms over his chassis, staring nervously at the tiny red and white hat magically staying atop Megatron's helm. "Okay, but _why_ are you decorating the command center?" 

Megatron grins, staring up and gesturing around the command center with a gleeful expression, "It's Christmas tomorrow! Why wouldn't I decorate in the spirit of the season?" 

Rumble hums thoughtfully, looking around at the command center, "Of course. I'll leave you too it, then. Wouldn't want to mess anything up." 

Megatron grins down at Rumble, "Merry Christmas, Rumble." 

Rumble grins, "You too my lord." 

With a casual stroll Rumble walks out of the command center, his demeanor changing drastically once the doors slide shut behind him. He looks up at all the mechs gathered in the hallway, grimacing at their slightly hopeful expressions. 

He slowly shakes his helm, and their hope disappears, "He's gotten worse." 

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Soundwave releases a quiet sigh, looking sadly at the monitors feeding from the Nemesis' camera system. Megatron has steadily gotten more and more cheerful and festive since the first of December, and none of the Deceptions know why, or what to do now. 

Whenever Soundwave tries to bring it up with him, the grey warlord tells Soundwave he's _being silly,_ and that there's _nothing_ that could _possibly_ be wrong with him. 

Starscream has been (astoundingly) conferring with Shockwave about it, trying to find out what the frag is causing this seasonal madness. He even asked Soundwave a few questions, about things he may have noticed around the time of the change. 

Unfortunately, Soundwave had no information to offer other than the date lord Megatron changed. 

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Jazz snickers, eyeing the monitor he has displaying feed from the Nemesis' cameras. This is the best idea he's had in a long time. 

Sideswipe burst out laughing from his place on the floor, trying to muffle his snickers with his servo but failing miserably. Sunstreaker's sitting beside him, a wide grin on his face as he too stares at the monitor. 

The oh-so-glorious lord Megatron is currently reaching to put a glowing purple star on top of a massive Christmas tree, one he has just spent the last several hours decorating with all manner of baubles and trinkets. 

Since it's the middle of the day, there aren't many Autobots in the Rec Room to watch Megatron's Jazz/Wheeljack induced madness, but Jazz assured everyone on-duty that he was recording everything for later watching enjoyment. 

He had made sure to keep what he and Wheeljack had done from Prowl and Optimus. They'd probably consider it too cruel, mentally that is, and put a stop to Jazz's fun. He couldn't have that, not the day before Christmas itself. Not after he'd gone through the trouble of blocking the vents leading to the Rec Room to make sure a certain winged drone of Soundwaves didn't find out what he'd been up to. 

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Ravage was sick of avoiding the Command Center. Sure, it was big, and as drafty as an underwater room could possibly get, but it was usually filled with on-duty mechs. It built camaraderie, spending time there with everyone else. Nobody fought there, because all the most valuable equipment (the stuff not needed for medical or science related things, at least) was in there, and nobody wanted to be the one to have to find a replacement. Sure, there were arguments, but they were usually the good-natured snipping of long-time friends. Everyone on board had, after all, been stuck together for a very long time. Long enough that the possibility of _friends_ was not so absurd. 

She skulked through the all-but-useless ventilation system to the Command Center, quite ready to find out if the human theory of "hit it to make it work" would have any affect on Megatron. 

As she was nearing the Command Center, she began to feel... _off._ Like something was out of place. 

Ravage scanned the vent she was in, and saw no trace of any tampering. The vents were clean, with only a few scuff marks in the thin layer of dust. She snorted, and continued onwards, shrugging the sensation off. It _had_ been a long time since anyone came through here. 

Hold on. 

Dust scuffs? 

_Nobody_ had been along this particular vent in months! Long enough that there should be _no_ dust scuffs. The quarterly-sent-out cleaning drones came through in October, and as far as she knew this vent hadn't been used since, so _why_ were there dust scuffs? 

She growled quietly to herself, her bewilderment being replaced by understanding. 

Autobots. 

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Starscream was not often visited by Soundwave's little terrors, but when he was it was usually Ravage that visited. Laserbeak did too, but she was normally stationed on the Ark. 

Of course, not often generally means once every few years, so it was rather surprising to have not just Ravage, but Soundwave himself come into Starscream's lab without advanced notice. 

Starscream was working of a device to scan Megatron's processors from a distance, because the damn warlord refused to believe anything was wrong with him and let anyone close enough to use a conventional scanner on him. 

Soundwave stopped just inside the door, respectfully waiting until Starscream stopped working to come closer. "Starscream." He said, his normal monotone voice sounding a little _off._

Starscream glanced at Soundwave, and then down at Ravage as she wove around his pedes. "Soundwave. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" 

Ravage snorted, "No need to be so formal, you idiot. I just came across a possible lead." 

Starscream didn't need to ask what she was referring to. There was only one problem currently important enough to warrant a visit to Starscream's labs. 

"Oh really?" 

Ravage grinned up at him, her rows of pointy denta gleaming in the bright light of Starscream's lab. "Damn right. I found scuffs in the dust covering the vents near the Command Center." Starscream snorted, decidedly unimpressed, but unwilling to say so out loud. Ravage was smarter than most gave her credit for, so there had to be a point to her uncharacteristic rambling. She continued, either not noticing, or deciding to ignore, Starscream's lack of understanding concerning the significance of _the dust scuffs._ "Now, as you know, the cleaning drones are sent out quarterly, last time being in October, right?" 

Starscream sighed and nodded, and she smirked. "So, no Decepticons have been in that particular vent since before the cleaning drones were sent out." 

Starscream's optics narrowed for a brief moment, before widening in understanding. Then they flashed with rage, "Autobots," he snarled. 

Ravage puffed up a bit in pride at her discovery. "Autobots." 

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Frenzy dropped out of a tiny vent above Starscream's lab and onto a thankfully empty table. "You mean _Autobots_ slagged up Megatron's processors?" 

Ravage sniffed and managed to glare down at Frenzy from her spot a few tables over, "If you'd been paying attention you wouldn't need to ask." 

Starscream stared warily up at the vent Frenzy had just dropped out of, "How the frag did you fit in there?" 

Frenzy stood up, brushing off imaginary dust (the vents around the labs and med-bay were cleaned every 5 days, to keep any possibly contaminants from entering the rooms) and glaring over at Ravage. "Just clarifying, Kitty." Then he turned to Starscream, "You don't wanna know." 

Starscream glared, before turning back to Ravage and Soundwave, "So," He said thoughtfully, "what should we do?" 

Everyone paused, considering the conundrum before them. 

Then Frenzy grinned, a sly, smug grin that spoke of horrible things to come for the targets. 

"I don't know how to fix Megs, but I do know how we can get back at the 'Bots." 

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Laserbeak had to admit that she always felt left out at Christmas. She was often on the Ark during it, and thus far from her family. Normally she would find a nice, warm spot above the Autobot's Rec Room and watch their celebrations, pretending that she was on the Nemesis and the mechs below her were her trusted comrades. 

However, this year the ventilation system above the Rec Room had been cut of from the rest of the system. 

Laserbeak didn't know why, but she didn't want to risk entering in case more drastic security measure had been taken. Who the frag even knew what could happen when Jazz was involved (and with security like this he undoubtedly was). 

That's why, when Ravage contacted her to tell her about what the Autobots had done to Megatron, she headed to Red Alert's Security Hub instead of the Rec Room. Ironically, the Hub was now easier to get into than the Rec Room. 

Laserbeak took her time getting into the room, spending at least 30 minutes removing the ventilation grate just to be safe. Then she carefully dropped behind a computer terminal, staying in the shadows to make sure nobody saw her. Sure, she could use her alt-mode as cover and hope that the being to find her would be one of the Autobots' humans, but her chances of getting out unscathed should she be found _here_ were very, very low. 

Oh so carefully Laserbeak ducked between the tiny amount of space present between the computer and the wall, extending a cable from her beak to plug into the terminal. Thankfully none of the more detail oriented mechs were on security duty, so hacking the system was far less stressful, and a whole lot easier. 

She found the security feed that was feeding from the Nemesis, and silently snarled in outrage. How dare these Autobots take pleasure from such humiliating footage. Torture vids were expected. In-battle fumbles were gleefully recorded. Prank footage was smuggled and distributed. But this? This was inexcusable. 

Laserbeak cautiously searched the Hub's database, placing a near-invisible tag on any file containing even an audio clip of Megatron's humiliation. 

Very soon, their plan would be put in motion. 

The Autobots would regret their actions. 

She'd make sure of it. 

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Onslaught almost winced as Brawl threw the burnt out husk of a tank into the sky and joyously blew it to smithereens, bellowing "I _love_ Christmas!" at the top of his vocalizer. 

Hopefully the Autobots would get out here soon, and Laserbeak could finish her work aboard the Ark unimpeded. 

Vortex whizzed by, barely missing Onslaught's helm, and Onslaught could hear the terrified screaming of his unfortunate human passengers. 

Blast Off was sitting casually on top of a military hanger, taking pot shots at anyone that tried to run. 

Swindle was... where was Swindle? Oh. There. Going through the munitions building. Probably was going to sell that back to the military later for a ridiculously high price under his terrorist name. Svin Deil or something equally ridiculous. 

_Soundwave: Onslaught. Assault successful?_

Onslaught crossed his arms over his chassis, looking at the devastation around him in satisfaction. 

_Onslaught: Affirmative. The human base has been totaled, and all the humans are still alive, despite Vortex and Brawl's complaints._

Onslaught could hear the amused tone in Soundwave's reply. 

_Soundwave: Onslaught. Many thanks. Rumble. Was insistent Christmas Eve was an inappropriate death date for humans. Soundwave. Would never hear the end of it were any offlined._

Onslaught huffed to cover his grin. Those runts had Soundwave wrapped around their little servos. 

_Onslaught: Yeah, well, all we need now are the Autobots and their heroic bumbling._

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Laserbeak strutted through the vents for a moment, proud of her specially tailored virus now floating around in the Autobot Security System. If anyone tried to access files relating to Megatron's humiliation they'd not only find thenselves staring at a screen full of static as opposed to video footage, but they'd also find their paint nanites changing to an unfortunate colour combination. One of many random choices, of course. It wouldn't do to show them that she lacked imagination. 

Now for phase two. 

Laserbeak flew through the vents, not bothering to keep quiet. The main Autobot group had already left to repel the Combaticon's assault, so there was only a small reserve left to guard the base. 

Perfect. 

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Ravage strode into the Ark, in plain sight of all the cameras. 

She got a few meters inside the doors, and sat down. Her tail curled neatly around her paws. 

Nothing happened. 

Then, pede steps started echoing down the long entrance hall towards her. 

A small smirk lit her faceplates, and she casually lay down, front paws tucked beneath her, tail now to the side. 

The first of the Autobots came into view, and stopped when they saw her. They warily regarded her, as if they thought she would magically spring up and charge them, claws and denta prepared to rip them to shreds. 

The idea did, admittedly, cross her processor, but she ignored it. 

Ravage was on a mission, and she would not let her more whimsical side ruin it. 

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Starscream hovered next to Soundwave, staring far down at the Ark's entrance. If he enhanced his optics he could just see Ravage lounging inside. 

He smirked, and glanced at Soundwave. The nodded, no words needed to be said. 

At a silent command the Decepticon Armada (sans the Combaticons) dropped to the ground in front of the Ark, their landings echoing loudly and the ground shuddering beneath their pedes. 

Time to start phase three. 

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Red Alert was not having a good day. First he discovered Jazz had meddled with the ventilation system, and then before he could fix it there was a potential hack in his _main computer_ in the _middle_ of his _Security Hub!_

Then the Combaticons attacked a human military base, and Red Alert warned against taking so many warriors, but did anyone listen? NO! Despite the fact that there were a grand total of _five Decepticons_ attacking, Optimus saw fit to bring what was basically the whole slagging army with him to stop them! 

Then that thrice damned cat-drone of Soundwave's decided to have a _nap_ just inside the Ark! 

Red Alert stormed to the entrance, determined to take his anger out on _something_ not allied to his faction (Stupid and deserving as it might be of such treatment). 

He was just about to drop kick the blasted creature out when he looked past the entrance. 

What he saw made his helm start sparking, and he could only stare in shock and horror at the scene outside. 

The... 

The Decepticons were having... 

_...a TEA PARTY?!_

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Laserbeak dropped into the quarters of Optimus Prime himself and looked around. 

Time for phase four. 

She grinned as she spied her target. 

The datapad containing Optimus' recreational book files. 

After such a... hard... day, he'll likely want to relax with a good book. 

Such a shame there might be something else on there by the time he gets to it. 

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**[The Next Day]**

Prowl knew something was off. 

Jazz was moping, brooding, and occasionally even grumbling about some kind of (possibly) security related footage he'd lost. 

Ratchet was furious because he'd had to repair Red Alert after his little incident yesterday. 

Most of the crew was in low spirits because of the lack of fighting yesterday. The Combaticons had saluted them, _saluted them_ , once they came within sight before taking off. Prowl'd been disturbed when he heard Vortex cackling gleefully. That kind of laugh could chill an active volcano. 

Prowl was just making his way to the Security Hub to investigate the possible hack when he saw Optimus grouching down the corridor. 

He looked curiously at the Prime. Something was definitely off. 

Then Bumblebee came around the corner and saw Optimus and Prowl. "Merry Christmas Prowl, Prime!" 

Optimus stopped and stared at Bumblebee, a hard look in his optics. 

Prowl and Bumblebee glanced at each other, wondering what could have possibly come over the Prime. 

Optimus huffed and stomped past the duo. 

"Ba-Humbug!" 

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Vortex giggled, gleefully watching Prowl's absolutely dumbfounded expression and Bumblebee's look of confusion. 

Laserbeak had stolen the schematics for the device used to mess with Megatron's processors, and had sent it to Starscream while he was relaxing outside the Ark with Soundwave and the rest of the Decepticon Armada. The scientist had then looked it over and come up with a way to reverse the effect it had on Megatron, saving copies of both the original and his modified version. Then he played around with it and walked Laserbeak through carefully sabotaging the device, ensuring that not only did it now not work as originally intended, but it would now refuse to target mechs (and femmes) with a Decepticon energy signature. 

But that wasn't the best part. 

Soundwave had created a program that mimicked the one the device originally installed, one that overrode a mech's normal personality programming, and Laserbeak had installed it on one of the Prime's datapads. 

Now the leader of the Autobots, do-gooders of the universe, was Scrooge! On Christmas day! 

Next to him, Brawl chuckled as Ratchet stormed out of his med bay and furiously asked what the frag everyone thought they were doing, and wasn't Christmas bad enough without their problem causing? 

Of course, Optimus snarled the famous 'ba-humbug' and stalked away, leaving Ratchet staring after him in astounded confusion. 

Laserbeak shifted on the Combaticon's lap, happy to have been granted a vacation after all her excellent work. "Vortex, I know this is amusing, but that's a really weird giggle." 

Vortex scoffed, "More like terrifying! Perfect for interrogations!" 

Ravage snorted from her spot in Onslaught's lap, "Shut up and watch the vid." 

Onslaught laughed (a non-creepy laugh), and Soundwave walked into the Decepticon Rec Room with Hook, Shockwave, and Starscream, a now normal Megatron in tow. 

Everyone gathered around the room, the Seekers, the Stunticons, the Constructicons, _everyone_ piled in around the Combaticons to watch the hilarious feed from the Ark. 

Serves those Autobots right. 

Megatron snorted before sitting down, eyeing the decorations still covering the room before turning back to the screen, an exasperated but fond expression on his faceplate. "Merry Christmas indeed." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All grammar mistakes are my own.
> 
> Thoughts?


	42. Spectral Frequency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bored. Bored. Bored. *Insert pointless action here*......  
> Still bored.

"Hey, Rumble." 

Rumble doesn't even bother looking up. "What." 

Frenzy leans forwards, tottering precariously on the edge of his seat, "I'm bored." 

Still, Rumble doesn't look up. "So?" 

Frenzy looks expectantly at Rumble, but seeing as Rumble is still focused on his datapad the look has no effect whatsoever. 

Frenzy sighs loudly, glaring at Rumble as he lounges in his massive, Cybertronian-sized armchair. It looks comfy. "If you don't entertain me, I'm gonna steal your spot next time you get up." 

Rumble twitches, "Last time I _entertained_ you we ended up accidentally painting Soundwave _pink._ " 

Frenzy winces, "In our defence, Skywarp was supposed to be the next one to walk through the door." 

A snort can be heard from the corner of the room, and Frenzy looks over to see Ravage stalking towards the door. "Wait, Ravage? I didn't know you were in here!" 

Ravage looks at Frenzy, amusement clear in her optics, "I am a spy, Frenzy." 

Frenzy stretches a servo after her as she walks out the door, "No! Ravage! Come back! I'm so bored! _Entertain me!"_

Ravage pauses just inside the doorway, "Come up with something that will provide enough challenge to occupy your processor, but that won't cause any problems." Then she slinks out the door, off to do whatever it is semi-creepy-riddle-speaking-older-quadruped-warrior sisters do. 

For the next few minutes there is silence. Not a single noise is made. Then, in a surprisingly thoughtful tone, Frenzy's voice breaks the silence. "Hey, Rumble?" 

Rumble sighs and puts down his datapad, sensing somehow that this is something that ma actually be worth his attention. "Yeah, Frenz?" 

A confused look mars Frenzy's faceplates. "What would you call a noise you think you heard, but that you're not quite sure you heard?" 

A blank expression answers Frenzy, and Rumble manages to answer very intelligently, "What?" 

Frenzy groans and flops back on the Cybertronian-sized couch Soundwave somehow managed to procure shortly after acquiring his family's massive quarters. "You know... it's like... you hear something, but you're not sure you heard it, and you kind of wonder whether or not it even existed for you to hear in the first place..." 

Rumble adopts a thoughtful expression, "I don't know if there's an actual term for that..." 

Frenzy abruptly sits up, "Well that's not helpful!" 

A snarl answers him, _"Let me finish!"_

Frenzy slouches back down, staring cautiously at Rumble. The mech in question simply relaxes, giving Frenzy a stern look, as if he didn't just _growl_ at him like Ravage is wont to do on a good day. "Just because there isn't a term for it doesn't mean we cannot come up with one ourselves." 

For a moment Frenzy simply looks baffled, but then understanding dawns and he looks delighted. "This'll be fun! Oh... we could... it'll have to be kind of ghostly, or the words will have to be ghost-related." 

Rumble snorts, "Why?" 

Frenzy answers Rumble in a patronizing tone, accompanied by a much-practiced optic roll, "Because the noises, just like ghosts, are things whose existences cannot be definitely proven." 

Rumble gives Frenzy a _look,_ "You say that like the noises are beings that could possibly _have_ an existence." 

Frenzy grins, "How do you know they can't? Have you ever asked?" 

A wordless grumble answers him, and Frenzy leans back with satisfaction. "What about... spectral?" 

Rumble grumbles some more, "Sure. Why the frag not. Whatever, oh speaker of sounds." 

Frenzy sighs, "Look, Rumble, you gonna help or pout?" 

Abruptly Rumble sits up, "Frequencies!" 

Frenzy looks nonplussed. "Frequencies?" 

A wide grin stretches Rumble's faceplates, "Yeah, spectral frequencies." 

Frenzy is practically vibrating with excitement, "So, just to recap, a spectral frequency is something that you think you hear, but you can't prove you heard, and you're not even sure it exists or not." 

Rumble nods, "Yup. That's about right." 

An evil grin spreads across Frenzy's faceplates, "I'm gonna add this to dictionary. com!" 

Rumble snickers, and the brothers look at each other, exceedingly proud of their accomplishment. 

They settle back down, Rumble with his datapad and Frenzy with his. 

A few minutes pass in companionable silence, during which dictionary. com is indeed hacked and a brand new phrase appears. 

Then... 

"Rumble." 

"What?" 

"Now I'm bored again." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> So. Yeah. I was thinking about the title of this lovely set of fics, so eloquently titled Spectral Frequencies, and despairing at my lack of ideas for a drabble. Then this came to me :) Not why I chose the name, but it works.


	43. CWD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Megatron's come up with a new form of punishment.  
> Everybody is scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing. Thought I should reiterate, in case, you know, that wasn't clear before ;)  
> This has surprisingly little dialogue (for me).
> 
> "spoken aloud"

Frenzy strides along the eerily empty corridor, wondering where the frag everyone is. Normally at this time there would be at _least_ two or three mechs out an walking down this corridor. It's the main corridor, there are always supposed to be mechs walking along it. Where exactly they are going and what they are supposed to be doing is never Frenzy's concern. The fact that there are always mechs there makes their absence that much clearer to Frenzy, and he doesn't like it. It feels wrong. It makes Frenzy think that there is something big going on that he's somehow missed. 

Now he just has to find it. 

Frenzy wanders semi-aimlessly along the main corridor, audios keenly tuned to catch even the smallest hint of noise. Normally doing such a thing would be begging for trouble, and Frenzy himself has seriously irked many a mech by making an obscenely loud noise while they've had their audios turned up so high. Those mechs often ended up in Hook's med-bay getting their delicate audio parts replaced because they'd been overloaded by Frenzy. He always thought that their threats were undeserved. He never utilized his sonic scream on them, why were they complaining? It could always be worse. 

As he approaches the main common room the faintest whispers of sound flit across Frenzy's audios, and he slows his pace to a wary walk. It wouldn't do to barge into the room only to find it's some kind of elaborate prank. As he gets closer, Frenzy steadily turns his audios down to normal levels, and is surprised to note that he can't hear anything other than what sounds like some random TV show coming from the room. Normally there would be conversations and shouting so loud that it would be impossible to hear the TV, but not now. Now it's quiet. 

Too quiet. 

Frenzy stares warily at the door to the common room, and decides against walking in like a normal mech. He quickly scales the wall and scuttles across the ceiling, easily climbing into a conveniently located ventilation grate. With hardly a sound Frenzy enters the vents and replaces the hall's grate, stealthily crawling over the common room to peer down through its single, strategically placed grate. It's located at in one of the back corners in the room, far from the door. It offers a lovely view of the entire room, but if far enough from the door that if an Autobot ever magically managed to make it here and was sighted, there would be plenty of time to take him down before he made it out of the common room. 

To Frenzy's surprise every mech currently on base is in the room, staring at the television with horror. A cheerful human male is speaking, and every once in a while there is the horrific sound of crushing metal, skidding tires, and breaking glass. A few other human voices are heard too, and Frenzy is very hesitant to see what exactly has the Decepticon Armada so entranced. He's not really paying attention to what is being said, because he's not only busy scanning the room to check for possible traps (despite the fact that the chances of this all being an elaborate prank are steadily and rapidly plummeting), but he's a little scared of what he'll hear. 

Then whatever is playing seems to end, and just before the credits start rolling Megatron himself stands up at the front of the room by the TV and pauses it, three words boldly frozen on the screen. 

"This," he says ominously, gesturing to the screen, "is where you will now go if you cause any kind of trouble. This is the new and," he pauses, as if considering his word choice, as if he hadn't prepared this speech, this _moment_ , days (possibly weeks) in advance, _"improved_ punishment detail." 

He grins, a nasty grin usually reserved for Autobots, "For obvious reasons this will only apply to those of us with ground-bound alt-modes. Starscream will be personally responsible for coming up and following through with a punishment of equal horror for his seekers." Starscream, for once, doesn't protest or make a clever sarcastic comment, he just looks ill and nods. 

Megatron grins nastily at everyone, "Dismissed." 

As the Decepticons slowly, and frighteningly sedately, file out of the room, Frenzy forces himself to read the three words on the screen that have instilled terror into the sparks of the Decepticons where no amount of battle, deceit, physical abuse, and backstabbing previously could. 

Canada's Worst Driver. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> I actually know some of the people that have been on the show (not that that's necessarily a good thing...)
> 
> This was inspired by the TV show Canada's Worst Driver (obviously). I always feel so bad for the vehicles when I watch that...


	44. U.F.Uh-Oh.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumble and Frenzy see something on human TV that brings back memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything, and I intentionally got the name of the TV show a little wrong (just in case one of you heard of this fairly obscure show and felt the need to point that out).
> 
> "spoken aloud"

"Hey Rumble, you watched any human television shows lately?" 

Rumble looks up at Frenzy curiously, "Uh, no. Why?" 

A strange expression crosses Frenzy's face as the show he's streaming across the inside of his visor continues. "Well, you know that incident we had back in '96?" 

Rumble straightens up, looking at Frenzy with worry. "You mean the one over the north Atlantic with Skywarp and that battle cruiser Shockwave sent us? The one that we almost immediately sent back to Cybertron because of said incident?" 

Frenzy grimaces, "Yeah, that one." 

"What about it?" 

"Well... there's this show, called _UFO Unclassified_ , and it's talking about it." 

Rumble groans, his helm falling back to hit the wall, "Well slag... what are they saying?" 

Frenzy hesitates, "Well, you know how the cruiser had a special shield/ energy field that was meant to harness blaster energy and use it to supplement the standard cruiser-grade energon fuel?" 

"Yeah." 

"And do you remember how Skywarp accidentally activated his warp drive during one of the tests, and the cruiser ended up draining all his power to the point where he almost deactivated, and how the cruiser then ended up somehow warping itself several miles away?" 

"...yeah." 

"Well, there was apparently a human passenger jet coming from Japan and flying to Alaska that was in the middle of that warp and they not only saw us but they got the cruiser on their radar. They're kind of freaking out about how there was a blip ahead of their jet, and then four seconds later the blip was suddenly behind the jet." 

"Frag." 

"Yeah, and the human pilots could apparently _see_ the cruiser behind their jet, despite the fact that the blind spot on a passenger jet is ridiculously big." 

"Double frag." 

"I know." 

Rumble and Frenzy exchange a nervous glance, worry bouncing back and forth across their bond. It's Frenzy that eventually speaks first, "So... what do we do?" 

Rumble doesn't answer for a long time, then he slowly grins, "You know, we could have some fun with this." 

Frenzy doesn't look too pleased with that idea, "Yeah, we could, and then when the Boss found out he'd tell Megatron, and Megatron would get really slagging mad at us and we'd be turned into scrap metal before we could even think about running." 

With a huff Rumble crosses his arms and glares, "Spoil sport." 

Frenzy smirks, "Realist." 

A few minutes pass as the twins contemplate what to do with this development, and then a few more. So deep in thought are they that the quiet sound of the door to their quarters opening goes unnoticed. 

"We could just pretend we never saw it. It's not like anyone bothers monitoring what human shows we watch." Frenzy sounds nervously hopeful. 

"Inquiry. Rumble and Frenzy wish to cover what up?" 

Ever so slowly, Rumble and Frenzy turn to look at the imposing form of Soundwave as he glares at them, looking unimpressed despite his battle mask and visor. 

Frenzy sinks into his seat, and Rumble can just hear his quiet cursing. 

Rumble gives Soundwave a massive grin that everybody knows is fake, "What, us? Cover something up?" 

Soundwave glares. "Tell now. Or else." 

This time Rumble and Frenzy exchange a glance and curse in synch, "Oh scrap." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	45. BORED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frenzy is bored. No plot whatsoever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Spoken aloud"

"Holy fragging Pits I'm bored."

Ravage doesn't flinch.

"Bored. Bored. Booooooored. Bored bored bored bored bored bored."

The tiniest flick of a tail betrays Ravage's rapidly growing irritation.

"So, so, so fragging bored. Buh-buh-buh-bored."

Ravage's optics flicker on, and if the decidedly ummuted sense of fury is anything to by then it means Frenzy's plan is working, and he grins. He's so bored he'd be happy to have the scrap beaten out of him by Ravage, if only so he could watch someone *cough* Hook *cough* doing the repairs on him and bother them with questions and complaints.

A silent warning from Soundwave unfortunately stops Frenzy from going through with his plan, and Frenzy sighs loudly, getting one last bit of entertainment out of Ravage's near silent growl.

So bored.

Frenzy can't even ask Laserbeak what the Autobots are doing. Since negotiations for a ceasefire between the Deceptions and Autobots have begun between all the higher ups of both factions Frenzy had been confined to the Nemesis along with his siblings. Damn paranoid 'Bots.

This is the first legitimate chance for peace in a very, very, very long time. Frenzy and his siblings may like to cause mischief (millions of years of slowly picking off the opposing side can get a little tedious), but they know better then to screw up something this big.

Rumble looks over at Ravage briefly, double checking his distance and whether or not he's within mauling range, before going back to his game. Last time Frenzy checked he'd created his own version of Sims and had two towns on opposite sides of a river. Each full of people with names marginally similar to that of the remaining Cybertronians. Frenzy was fairly certain he'd seen a glimpse of a grey haired man named Michael Tron dancing with a blonde haired man named Odin Patch.

Hopefully Rumble was smart enough not to make a Sim for Soundwave... or Starscream.

Buzzsaw grumbled from his perch in the air vent, his dangling wing twitching a bit as he recharged. Useless bird.

At least he wasn't pouting though. Laserbeak was amazing at pouting, and considering how rarely she did it her pouting was much more effective than all of Soundwave's cassettes, except, perhaps, for Ravage.

Such facts were, of course, wonderful in theory. To get the chance to see such pouting in action however, that was decidedly less wonderful.

A pouting Laserbeak was something Frenzy had never wanted to experience again, not after the last... incident... back on Cybertron.

Being separated from her not-so-secret-secret Autobot friend was making her sad for some reason. As if we (Soundwave and us cassettes) didn't know about her friendship. The grey gunner had saved her spark at least once for frag's sake. As if we wouldn't know.

Soundwave is, of course, helping to negotiate the ceasefire. Bothering the combiners got old a few years after they got stuck aboard the Nemesis with all the Earthbound 'Cons.

The seekers are somewhere doing useful things we mere cassettes are not yet allowed to know about.

The triple changers are too big and slow to properly tease right now.

That leaves...

Absolutely no one.

...

...

So. Bored.


	46. Human Element: Playing with Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Human Element AU (meaning Soundwave, Ravage, Rumble, and Frenzy are learning how to be human via holoforms to better infiltrate the Autobots).
> 
> Soundwave learns that human children can be both easy and terrible to deal with. Also, their mother's are not necessarily more mature than their children.
> 
> Warning: Mild swearing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gang’s actual names are used for everything *unless* they’re being spoken to while a human is around, regardless of whether they’re acting through their holoform or their actual mode (the latter doesn’t really happen much here), because they don’t want anybody to be suspicious.  
> Soundwave=Sam  
> Ravage=Ruth  
> Frenzy=Ferris  
> Rumble=Rhen  
> Also, “ingenuine” (meaning not-genuine) isn’t actually a word but I use it anyways. 
> 
> Sorry for spelling errors! I wrote this after finishing a research paper, so my brain's a little fried.
> 
> "Spoken aloud"  
> [name]:bond talk:  
>  **[PoV Character]**

**[Soundwave]**

Soundwave frowns as the cascading sounds of the doorbell ring throughout the house. None of the Decepticons are allowed to make contact outside of extenuating circumstances (like Dead End for Rumble’s ridiculous driving test), and ever since the last… incident… with the religious humans that used to come around every two weeks or so and knock on their door to spout nonsense about made up human deities and fleshbags of power (as if such a thing was possible) nobody has come near their house. 

For all Rumble and Frenzy find research and history tedious, they are surprisingly dedicated to Primus. In all honesty Soundwave should have seen their minor break in human-character (definitely not a break in their actual character) coming. 

Thank the stars he’d been able to get those two out of being arrested on account of the religious people being illegal trespassers. While unorthodox, the reflective yellow sign with black writing hanging on the front door saying 

**Private Property.**

**Do not knock on the door for any reason.**

**Do not pass GO on your way back to the sidewalk.**

was hard enough to miss that nobody could doubt the trespassing claim. 

Which brought him back to the original point. Who the frag just rang the doorbell? 

Soundwave cautiously approached the front door as Ravage’s small holoform appeared next to the door. 

[Ravage]: You know it’d be faster if you just restructured your holoform where you needed to be instead of walking everywhere.: 

Soundwave shoots her a _look_ before completing an unnoticeable scan broadcasted from his actual form in the garage. The being outside is a middle-aged female accompanied by a much smaller female the age Ravage’s holoform is supposed to be. The exact age Ravage’s holoform is supposed to be, in fact. Letting out an inaudible sigh Soundwave mentally braces himself before opening the door with one of his cover’s typical small smiles. “Hello Rebecca, it’s nice to see you again. Rebecca’s mother, it is a pleasure to see you as well, though I admit this is unexpected.” 

Rebecca’s long black hair is done in a simple ponytail, and her green eyes are bright with happiness upon seeing Ruth. Rebecca beams and gives Ravage a small wave. Ruth smiles shyly back, and Soundwave turns to Rebecca’s mother. The lady in question, in contrast to Rebecca, has styled red hair, fake blue nails, and is rude enough to be looking at her phone, a bedazzled monstrosity, her thumbs flying across and typing out something of presumably great importance as she snorts in irritation. “Yeah, it’s unexpected for me too, and don’t call me Rebecca’s mom, call me Mrs. Haltz. God, do I look like my life revolves around my kid?” Mrs. Haltz rolls her eyes without looking away from her phone, and admirable feat, albeit an incredibly rude one. “Look, Rebecca won’t shut up about how nice you and your kid are, and I really don’t have time for this shit. One of my friends just got back from two weeks in Italy and managed not to pay for any hotels or dinners, and I absolutely _need_ to talk to her and get the details, so can you look after Rebecca for tonight for me? I’ve got all her crap in my car.” 

Soundwave hides his frown as Rebecca shuffles her feet, carefully making sure that at no point does she come into contact with her mother’s fancy skirt or handbag, despite the lack of space on the doorstep. 

This is not a development he would have expected. 

Outwardly his smile never wavers, “My children and I had no plans for this evening, and I’m sure we can accommodate your daughter for the night if,” he ensure he makes eye contact with Rebecca, “she does not mind keeping us company that is.” 

For a split second Rebecca lights up, a wide grin covering her face before her mother answers for her and a carefully neutral expression clears her face of all expression, “Of course she doesn’t mind, it’s not like she had anything else to do either.” 

[Ravage]: Someone so young should not have to learn how to hide their emotions to such a degree outside of a warzone.: 

A deep seated regret washed over Soundwave at his eldest’s words, but he suppresses it with an ease born from millennia of practice. His creations should not have been in a warzone in the first place, but that time has long since passed. Perhaps he can help this young human get away from her dreadful mother for a while. From what he remembers, when not around her mother Rebecca is endlessly cheerful and talks nearly as much as that Autobot sniper. 

It will be good for everybody. Rebecca will get away her mother, and Soundwave and his creations will get to interact with a cheerful, innocent youngling, even if said youngling is human and fragile. 

Rebecca’s mother flicks a careless hand at her tiny blue car, metallic-looking plastic wrist bangles clicking against each other, “Get your bag already Rebecca, I have places to be.” 

Rebecca dashes to the car and carefully opens the door, pulling a simple black duffle bag out of the back seat and hauling it back to the front door. 

Soundwave steps aside and Rebecca walks past him, duffle on her shoulder, and watches Ravage lead them to her room, explaining what room is behind each door as they go. He turn back to Rebecca’s mother to wish her farewell (an admittedly ingenuine farewell, but it is a social custom he’s come to learn to do regardless of its sincerity) but Mrs. Haltz is already striding back to her car, far enough away that he’s fairly certain she didn’t even wait to see her daughter through the door before leaving. 

He sighs and closes the door, this is going to be a long night. 

-.-.-.4.-.h.o.u.r.s.-.l.a.t.e.r.-.-.- 

**[Rumble]**

Walking in through the backdoor the last thing Rumble expects to do is trip over a disembodied head. 

Granted, once Frenzy has stopped laughing at his misfortune and Rumble has managed to keep from unleashing his litany of multilingual curse words, he actually looks at the disembodied head and sees that it’s not a real, squishy human head. Instead he sees that it’s one of those terrifying plastic Barbie heads that human parents sometimes inexplicably buy their younglings. 

Rumble props himself on his elbows and sighs, then he looks up and comes face-to-abdomen with someone that is distinctly not a holoform. 

[Ravage]: Did we forget to tell you Rebecca was staying the night? Oops.: 

Rumble looks up further to see Rebecca frowning down at him (scrap, she looks mad), “You broke her.” Rumble looks towards the door and finds that there’s a long crack running along the side of the creepy head. 

He turns back to Rebecca with a sheepish grin, “Whoops?” 

[Rumble]: Why do I feel sorry for cracking a surprisingly creepy plastic head?: 

Rebecca narrows her eyes for a moment, and Rumble briefly worries about getting kneed in the nose or something equally violent in revenge, but Rebecca shrugs and relaxes, “I thought it was weird anyways.” 

Rumble watches her go back over to where Ravage is building the Nemesis out of pink, purple, and red Lego (special edition Valentine’s Day Lego colours; that was a fun store to raid) with surprise. 

[Ravage]: Her mom bought it for her so she could practice applying makeup and doing hair. Don’t feel sorry.: 

Frenzy walks over Rumble, intentionally digging his grubby shoes into Rumble’s back as he goes, to get inside. “Becky!” 

Rebecca looks over at Frenzy and sticks her tongue out, “Ferry.” 

Ravage snickers quietly at her friend’s bastardization of Frenzy’s human name. Watching Frenzy’s outraged expression morph into one of exaggerated glee as he stalks over to Rebecca is amusing, and watching Frenzy pounce on an unsuspecting Rebecca and start mercilessly tickling her is even more so. 

“Ruth! Help me!” Ravage raises an eyebrow and scoots backwards away from where Frenzy has Rebecca pinned down. 

“Nope.” 

Between high-pitched bouts of laughter Rebecca sends Ravage a deeply betrayed look, so Rumble sighs and hauls himself to his feet. He absently closes the door behind him and crouches down, calculations running through his processor. He quietly shifts around to Frenzy’s blind spot, ignoring Ravage’s unimpressed glare. 

A final readjustment, and he’s ready. Rumble takes three bounding steps across the room before tackling Frenzy, and the duo immediately start wrestling with each other on the ground. Ravage drags Rebecca back from the pair to watch, Rebecca’s small body heaving as she gets her breath back. 

The two girls wince as a stray limb hits a bookshelf, watching worriedly as it shakes with the impact. Rebecca and Ravage giggle quietly at Frenzy’s muffled curses, unable to properly form any actual swear words with Rumble shoving his face into the carpet. 

Soundwave watches silently from the kitchen as two of his creations make a mess of their living room, the damage they do far less than anything that has happened in the past, while his eldest gleefully watches the carnage with a human child. 

Perhaps looking after other human children isn’t so terrible after all. 

-.-.-.3.-.w.e.e.k.s.-.l.a.t.e.r.-.-.- 

**[Soundwave]**

Soundwave flinches as a gaggle of children go sprinting past him, brightly coloured plastic water guns held incorrectly in their grubby hands. 

Ravage, Rebecca, and a few other children chase the first group, squirting them with unsteady streams of water. Ravage, her water rifle held surprisingly easily considering her actual body has no hands, discreetly rolls her eyes at him as yet another one of the many children’s mothers, who even knows which on at this point, tries to not-so-discreetly ask if he’s single. Again. 

[Frenzy]: Rumble, one of the brats is making a break for the kitchen again. Cake-napper incoming.: 

[Rumble]: For frag’s sake! How hard is it for these stupid kids to wait for an hour? And look! He’s still wearing his muddy shoes inside the house! I can track his footprints! Not only is this a pitiful attempt at stealth, but it’s going to take ages to clean up! Muddy shoes! On a WHITE carpet!!: 

[Frenzy]: I hope it’s all just mud. I think one of the kids brought their dog.: 

[Rumble]: I’m going to pretend you didn’t imply what I think you just implied.: 

[Frenzy]: Suit yourself. Don’t step in the dog-shit footprints.: 

[Rumble]: It’s not dog-shit.: 

[Frenzy]: Yeah, OK there Rumble.: 

[Rumble]: I refuse to believe this pathetic excuse for a thief just tracked dog-crap across our carpet.: 

[Frenzy]: Since when do you care so much about cleanliness?: 

[Rumble]: Since it was possibly compromised by bacteria-infested, fully-digested, smelly, brown, disgusting, dog excrement.: 

[Ravage]: Shut up and let me enjoy my fake birthday.: 

[Rumble]: Calm down Ravage. If you step in anything remotely poopy, don’t blame me. 

[Frenzy]: Yeah Ravage, don’t blame Rumble for stepping in some stranger’s random pile of dog-shit. You know, because that would be such a logical thing for you to do.: 

[Soundwave]: Silence. Party noise level. High enough without you contributing.: 

[Ravage]: Thank you, Soundwave.: 

[Rumble]: Sorry Boss.: 

[Frenzy]: Sorry Boss.: 

Soundwave warily watches one children trying to engage in water-warfare and eat a cupcake simultaneously out of the corner of his eye, the majority of his attention focused on the ditzy woman in front of him now that his creations have finally ceased arguing. She’s told him how nice he is for inviting people over to his house for Ravage’s fake birthday at least five times in the last seven minutes, the wording changing a minimal amount each time. 

He turns his head to reply, and a second later feels something mushy hit his leg. He looks down to see water gun-cupcake boy has tripped, and that his half-eaten cupcake is now adhered to Soundwave’s pants. 

The gaggle of women coo and chitter at each other while eyeing the fallen boy, one even pats Soundwave’s shoulder consolingly as she looks at his ruined pants. None of them move to help. 

Just as Soundwave’s about to help the child himself a woman that is presumably the child’s mother comes over and titters at him, seemingly checking him for injuries despite the fact that he fell approximately three feet and landed on grass. 

Despite not having any injuries, the boy’s eyes fill with tears. 

[Frenzy]: Oh no. 

The boy looks at the cupcake as it slides down Soundwave’s pants, leaving a thick trail of icing in its wake. He takes a deep breath, his small chest visibly expanding. 

[Rumble]: Who thought this party was a good idea again?; 

[Ravage]: Not having one would have been suspicious.: 

The child stops inhaling, glances at his mother with big, watery eyes, a single tear trailing down his grimy cheek, and _screams._

[Soundwave]: Groups of children. Never invited again.: 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Halo_Wings requested something along these lines. I hope you liked it!


	47. It's not Boredom, it's Baydom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is me doing Bayformer Frenzy. But not really.  
> Kind of.  
> Could be considered a sequel to BORED.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason I felt the need to italicize a lot of words in this (as well as use a lot of brackets). Just a heads up...

Frenzy sighs and looks around the room. He's still stuck on the Nemesis. Confined to Soundwave's quarters to prevent him from causing any trouble. 

Frenzy glances over at Rumble where he sits plugged into Soundwave's personal computer. Frenzy's pretty sure his brother has listened to every single song ever uploaded to the internet, and is now working his way through humanity's vast array of movies and TV series. 

A heavy sigh escapes him, "I wish something would just happen already." 

Later that cycle, after Soundwave has returned with Frenzy's less energetic/mischievous siblings to conclude another boring day, and everyone settle down to recharge, Frenzy quietly despairs at the turn his life has taken. 

Rumble glances over at Frenzy, sympathy in his optics, "Hey Frenz, you okay?" 

Frenzy looks back at Rumble and gives him a fake smile that doesn't fool either of them. "Yeah, Rumble, I'm fine." 

Rumble gives Frenzy a sceptic look, but doesn't push, and the two brothers quietly go into recharge. 

-t-r-a-n-s-i-t-i-o-n- 

Everything feels wrong. Frenzy's thoughts race by too fast, and when he tries to speak his voice box can't keep up and he stutters. 

A deep voice echoes around him, and Frenzy realizes he's in a Cybertronian... but it's not Soundwave. 

A screech erupts from his vocalized at this realization, but it's not one of his specialized ones. 

"Primus fraggit, Frenzy, what is wrong with you?!" 

Frenzy looks around and more thoroughly examines his surroundings, ignoring the question for the time being. It seems like he's in the back of a police cruiser, but it's somehow different from the ones Frenzy's seen before. It's almost like the human's technology has jumped several years in the time he's been recharging. 

"Answer me you little glitch!" 

Frenzy quickly scans his memory banks, and is shocked speechless to find a whole new set running parallel to the ones he can recall living through. They are helpful, however, because they allow him to identify the much he's in as Barricade. They also show him what standard behaviour is expected from him, and he snaps back a reply instinctively. It's just like a deep cover operation with a new personality... except Frenzy can't remember running a single op that spanned millennia before, nor can he figure out how he could possibly have two complete sets of parallel memories. 

An angry sounding rumble comes from Barricade, but if the new set of memories are anything to go by then it's merely a reflex sound, something to keep up appearances. 

Frenzy almost freaks out again when he realizes that his frame is completely different and has an altmode that looks like a newer version of Soundwave's. He's also a _lot_ smaller than he used to be. 

Frenzy has no idea what is going on, but he's going to find out. 

-t-i-m-e-p-a-s-s-e-s- 

Frenzy now has a fairly clear idea of what is going on, somehow. It took a lot of effort and digging through memory files, but he finally managed it. 

What _is_ going on is beyond strange. He's somehow landed himself in what appears to be a parallel universe (though he has no idea _how_ ) and he is partnered with Barricade the Decepticon _cop car_ (when Frenzy moved past the initial shock at his situation he laughed for a good long while upon seeing Barricade's alt-mode, to the larger mech's everlasting confusion). He and Barricade are tracking a human (one with the same last name as the Autobot's duo in what Frenzy mentally refers to as his _original_ universe) to try and retrieve a set of human optical enhancements (Primus Barricade, just call them glasses already) because the human that owns them got them from his grandfather. Said grandfather just happened to have been an arctic explorer that stumbled across the frozen body of _Megatron_ and _somehow_ activated _something_ on his frame that etched the coordinates of the fragging _Allspark_ (Frenzy only recently learned about the significance of this incredibly important life-giving box) into the lenses of the glasses. Once the glasses are retrieved the plan is to get the Allspark and turn it over to Starscream (who's a lot creepier in this universe, as well as a lot more triangle shaped) who will utilize its power to turn Earth's technology into obedient (ha) little minions that will help the Deceptions defeat the Autobots and take over the universe. 

This plan could not _possibly_ fail. Nope. 

Oh, and the Earth year is somehow 2007. Go figure. 

-t-i-m-e-p-a-s-s-e-s- 

Who knew it was possible to survive as just a head? Frenzy previously didn't, but he's certainly not going to question it. Maybe he should have actually tried to hurt the Witwicky boy and his scrawny girlfriend as opposed to just scaring them. Getting nearly destroyed by a teenage human female was not something that Frenzy's siblings would ever let him live down. You know, if they were his _original_ siblings. The ones he supposedly has in this universe are very cold-sparked and energon/blood thirsty. They even feel cold through their painfully weak sparkbonds. They're not the kind to tease for fun. 

Now Frenzy is stuck as a little phone with cutesy stickers in the evil girlfriend's purse. 

-t-i-m-e-p-a-s-s-e-s- 

Frenzy grins. The Allspark is pretty fragging awesome. It completely rebuilt his body, and refilled the ammunition on all his weapons. 

Of course, then the humans took the cube, which Bumblebee (but not the _original_ Bumblebee, the one that turned into a very non-sports car) magically shrunk to a size that even a human could easily manage, to a major city (it radiates unique and powerful energy? How do buildings have any kind of dampening effect?) and were promptly converged on by all the Deceptions currently on Earth minus Frenzy (and that weird scorpion symbiote, but he doesn't really count). 

Because everyone forgot about Frenzy. 

Unfortunately for Frenzy, in an attempt to assist his fellow Deceptions, he is now trying to sabotage the communication efforts of specialized human agents in a top secret facility trapped under tons of concrete dam via the ventilation system (because the fragging humans barricaded the door). 

The humans have tried to torch him, shoot him, and blow him up so far, and Frenzy has yet to accomplish his mission. Barricade isn't here to help him, and Starscream destroyed the main power supply for the dam so Frenzy can't access any of the fancy equipment in non-essential rooms because the doors aren't receiving any power (and you can't hack a powerless power operated door, only pry it open, and Frenzy is far too small to do that). Additionally, Megatron (in his epic, intimidating, lordly way) destroyed a good portion of the dam's supporting structures during his exit so bursting through the walls of the room the humans are hiding in is a Very Bad Idea. 

Things could not possibly get any worse. 

-t-i-m-e-p-a-s-s-e-s- 

Frenzy shoots upright and rolls off his recharge berth, spark pounding, intakes whirring overtime. 

His processor is struggling to accept the last images it received through his optics. One of his own blades spinning towards his head, the image cutting out as the blade sliced right through them and continued on to cut right through his helm. 

He just _offlined himself._ That's so pathetic. 

He hears someone shifting and Rumble, _his Rumble,_ peers blearily over the edge of the berth, "You alright Frenzy?" 

Frenzy stares up at his brother blankly, all the memories of the past few cycles racing through his slightly-slower processor. "I don't- I just-" A quick glance around shows that he's sitting on the floor of his _room_ (not just Barricade's specialized hold, or on the ground somewhere in his alt-mode) onboard the Nemesis. 

Rumble's looking down at Frenzy with real concern now, "Frenzy? Bro, you okay?" 

Frenzy checks his chronometer, surprised that it shows that he's barely recharged through a standard cycle. After everything that happened, that he went through, that he _still remembers,_ he'd have figured far more time would have passed. He's still not even sure what just happened, or how it happened. Surely it took longer than a single recharge cycle? 

Frenzy gently prods his siblings and creator through their sparkbonds, tension he didn't even know he had easing at how _familiar_ they are (and at how _warm_ and _welcoming_ they are to him, especially compared to those _other_ siblings). 

Frenzy grins and relaxes, the panic from his demise and the feeling of _wrongness_ from know really _knowing_ what was going on steadily dissipating and easing his spark. He looks up at Rumble, relieved beyond measure that he has his loving family back and has returned to a universe where everything makes sense. 

A genuine smile graces his faceplate, and Rumble matches his grin for the first time in too long, "Yeah, Rumble, I'm fine." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Complaints? Grammatical errors?
> 
> Did I get any details wrong? I can't remember if Mikaela's phone had stickers or not...


	48. Human Element: Enter Laserbeak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laserbeak is so bored she's going crazy (she's actually figured out why Wheeljack makes things explode, she needs to get out of the Ark ASAP).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my "Human Element AU," meaning that Soundwave, Ravage, Rumble, and Frenzy are learning how to be human via holoforms to better infiltrate the Autobots.
> 
>  
> 
> **[PoV Character]**
> 
>  
> 
> [Name]:bond talk:
> 
> "Spoken aloud"
> 
> -.-.-.-P.o.V.-.o.r.-.T.i.m.e.-.C.h.a.n.g.e.-.-.-
> 
> Soundwave=Sam  
> Ravage=Ruth  
> Frenzy=Ferris  
> Rumble=Rhen

**[Laserbeak]**

She had been stuck onboard the Ark for nearly a year now, and was more than ready to get the frag out of the Autobot's damn vents. She could navigate undetected through them while in stasis at this point, and while her occasional talks with Bluestreak did wonders for her boredom (and sanity) and her siblings always made sure to talk to her or simply share what they were doing at least once a day, she was going to go crazy. 

Laserbeak grumbled quietly, shifting from where she sat in her own small monitor room. It was hidden in a small room she'd painstakingly carved out above the Dinobot's caverns. That way it was in an area no Bots enjoyed coming to, and it was protected by rock and naturally found minerals that interfered with scanners. The tunnel she'd carved to her room linked directly to the ventilation system, so the chances of being seen by an Autobot were practically non-existent. 

Laserbeak had set up cameras in almost every single room aboard the Ark within three months of arriving, and the data collected streamed directly via cable (not wirelessly, that would be far too easy for an Autobot to accidentally intercept) to Laserbeak's own personal command center aboard the Ark. On a random day of every week she would transfer all the data collected to an external drive, hide the drive in a small secret subspace pocket (one inaccessible to everyone without her family's spark signature), and meet one of the Elite Trine at a pre-determined rendezvous, set up via Soundwave and Laserbeak's sparkbond. When she returned to her command center she'd wait until Soundwave confirmed that the data was complete and ready to be reviewed before deleting it from her command center's memory banks. 

Of course, the rooms that she'd not dared to enter were fairly important, and the reason she was still stuck here and not celebrating complete Decepticon victory. The Autobot officers' rooms, as well as the "war room" and Red Alert's personal monitor room and Prowl's "tactical room" were all checked on a monthly, weekly, and sometimes daily basis depending on Red Alert's mood, and only Prowl, Jazz, and Red Alert were allowed to sweep the rooms. They checked _everywhere_. They'd have definitely noticed a camera and extra wire, or even just an extra wire. 

Additionally, Wheeljack's "Room of Invention" was also lacking a camera. He usually managed to take them out whenever his carefully created explosions went off. 

It had taken Laserbeak a while to figure out how the frag one of the Autobot's most competent engineers consistently managed to set off ground shaking explosions. 

He did it on purpose. 

Prowl and Jazz had planned it, and while it irritated the living spark out of Ratchet it was a surprisingly good plan. 

Whenever something exploded, or just barely seemed to work, it boosted the humans' confidence. They saw an advanced creature that'd lived for longer than their disgusting planet had existed making mistakes that they could help fix, and instead of thinking _"golly this is kind of suspicious"_ they thought _"oh my god I need to help this idiot stop making terrible equipment and accidentally exploding things."_ While this was, admittedly, a train of thought more suitable to their continued survival, since the malfunctions and explosions were occasionally rather important and large, it meant that, in order for any kind of surveillance equipment to survive in the "Room of Invention" it had to be capable of either: 

A) surviving consistent explosions and technical malfunctions of varying severity and size; 

B) being so cheap and easy to create that it could be replaced after every incident. 

Since those two options were rather contradictory with each other, Laserbeak was stuck with normal cameras and equipment that she only used when she thought Wheeljack was going to be making something important that _wouldn't_ explode/malfunction. 

It happened less often that one might think. 

-.-.-.M.e.a.n.w.h.i.l.e.-.-.- 

**[Soundwave]**

"We gotta get Beaky up here, Boss." 

Soundwave looked at Frenzy over the top of his newspaper, letting the pair of (ironically) blue and gold reading glasses Rebecca had bought him for his "birthday" slide down his nose so he could peer over them. It's oddly satisfying. 

"She's bored out of her processor, Boss. It's starting to leak through our blocks." 

Soundwave frowned and concentrated inwards, surprised to find that Frenzy was correct. The blocks they all instinctively had up for protection and privacy had survived ambushes and combat scenarios, (they even held steady that one time Soundwave had to seduce someone) the fact that Laserbeak's boredom was leaking through while she was on-mission was incredibly worrying. 

Soundwave sighed and put his newspaper down. He could work on the crossword later. 

-.-.-.A.r.k.s.i.d.e.-.-.- 

**[Laserbeak]**

Laserbeak was contemplating irritating Bluestreak into helping her set up another prank. He was always so worried he'd get caught, but as long as he was helping her with petty things like pranks then he was simultaneously underestimating how far she'd gotten into the Ark's security and helping her keep from blowing her cover just for something to do. 

[Soundwave]: Laserbeak. Status?: 

Laserbeak huffed, momentarily irritated that her potential plans had been foiled, before she registered who she was talking to. 

[Laserbeak]: Soundwave! I'm so fragging bored you have no idea pleasegetmeoutofhereimsobored.: 

-.-.-.A.g.a.i.n.-.M.e.a.n.w.h.i.l.e.-.-.- 

**[Soundwave]**

This was very concerning. Laserbeak actually sounded a little unstable. Perhaps a "vacation" (as much as anyone could have a vacation during a civil war) was required for Laserbeak… but who to replace her with? The information she was gathering was invaluable, and the post had to be full-time in order to maintain the cameras and equipment and to keep an optic on the Bots that didn't have cameras in the rooms they spent the most time in. 

They also had to be able to avoid Jazz and Prowl. That was the main reason Soundwave's creations were always chosen for Ark infiltrations, they were the only ones that could consistently avoid those two. 

Additionally, Jazz and Prowl were terrifying and not many of the minicons were willing to be that close to them for any period of time. Across a battlefield was usually as close as they wanted to get, something that, while completely understandable, was also very frustrating. 

[Soundwave]: Replacement. Will meet you at the next rendezvous. Replacement. Will accompany Laserbeak back to the Ark. Laserbeak. Will train replacement until satisfied with continued mission security and success.: 

Now, who could Soundwave send to the Ark that wouldn't botch the mission… 

-.-.-.S.e.v.e.r.a.l.-.S.e.c.o.n.d.s.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.- 

**[Buzzsaw]**

[Buzzsaw]: You've got to be kidding me.: 

[Soundwave]: Soundwave. Does not "kid".: 

[Buzzsaw]: You're sending me to replace Laserbeak on-board the Ark for an unknown period of time because you're concerned for her sanity.: 

[Soundwave]: Affirmative.: 

[Buzzsaw]: You're sending _me_ to replace _Laserbeak_ because you're worried for _her_ sanity? Laserbeak is, after Ravage, the least likely to go insane out of all of us. The fact that she is apparently nearly insane is worrying enough, but you're sending me in to replace her? What about _my_ sanity?: 

The pause in conversation was enough to make Buzzsaw nervous. 

[Soundwave]: Buzzsaw. Only option. Buzzsaw. Fits all requirements.: 

[Buzzsaw]: What requirements?: 

[Soundwave]: Small enough to fit in Ark ventilation system. 

Small enough to fit in tunnels dug by Laserbeak. 

Stealthy enough to avoid _all_ Autobot officers. 

Skilled enough to keep tabs on _all_ Autobot officers. 

Smart enough to know when to monitor Wheeljack. 

Unafraid of monitoring Ark while Prowl and Jazz are present. 

Sparkbonded with Decepticon outside of Ark to set up rendezvous. 

Capable of travelling distance to rendezvous and back to Ark quickly and undetected.: 

[Buzzsaw]: That's an impressive list, Boss.: 

[Soundwave]: Affirmative.: 

[Buzzsaw]: Since I can feel how bad off Laserbeak is… I'll do it. 

[Soundwave]: Rendezvous information sent. Good luck.: 

-.-.-.T.w.o.-.a.n.d.-.a.-.H.a.l.f.-.W.e.e.k.s.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.- 

**[Laserbeak]**

Freedom. Laserbeak revelled in the feeling of wind ghosting over her wings, knowing that she didn't have to return to the Ark until Soundwave reassigned her. Hopefully that wouldn't be for a good long while. 

Laserbeak had spent the last two weeks walking Buzzsaw through her finely tuned schedule. He'd been impressed, to say the least. 

Bluestreak thought that, because Laserbeak was leaving, that there would be no more Decepticons monitoring them until she returned. Silly Bluestreak. 

Now Laserbeak was flying, not back to the Nemesis, but to some remote Canadian city/town not too far north from the Ark. It should only take her an hour or two to fly there. Then she'd be able to relax. 

-.-.-.1.5.-.H.o.u.r.s.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.- (1.5 hours, not 15) 

**[Soundwave]**

"I have to what?" 

Soundwave sighed and looked up (and wasn't that a weird feeling) at Laserbeak to meet her optics. 

"Laserbeak. Must create human holoform. Laserbeak. Must learn to blend in with humans." 

Laserbeak growled. "You've got to be kidding me." 

Soundwave wisely suspected that a deadpan response of "Soundwave. Does not kid." would not be appreciated right now. Instead he decided it would be best to go with a direct, if slightly unorthodox approach. 

"Laserbeak. Will learn how to live outside of war-zone." 

That gave his creation a pause. She peered down at him, "What?" 

Soundwave allowed his holoform to grin, a tiny, nearly unnoticeable grin, but it caught Laserbeak's attention and she stared in surprise. "Human life here. Peaceful." Soundwave ignored his memories of Ravage's birthday party with a determination he usually only had to utilize when captured by the more competent Autobot officers. "Human life. Surprising. Break from war. Break from Decepticon politics. Break from Autobots." 

Laserbeak settled down, bringing her optics to the level of the eyes on Soundwave's holoform. "You're serious. You're actually starting to like this assignment, aren't you?" 

Soundwave shrugged, another tiny motion that caught Laserbeak's attention. "Human life here. Peaceful." 

She hesitated, looking at Soundwave's real form and eyeing it with concern. "Fine, but I won't have to become some stupid human ground transportation will I? That's a bit much." 

Internally Soundwave cheered. "Negative." 

-.-.-.U.n.s.p.e.c.i.f.i.e.d.-.A.m.o.u.n.t.-.o.f.-.T.i.m.e.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.- 

**[Frenzy]**

Having Laserbeak around and watching her simultaneously relax and fumble about as a human was way more amusing than Frenzy had previously anticipated. (Watching her learn to walk had been hysterical.) Her holoform was registered as three years younger than Rumble and Frenzy's, which meant that she had to go to school. Luckily Soundwave had fabricated some elaborate backstory for Laserbeak about her being a long lost daughter of his, one that he somehow didn't know about until recently, magically discovered, and then subsequently adopted. 

For some reason, nobody questioned it. 

Soundwave, of course, was now getting hit on by even more creepy ladies (and even some guys) because telling people how they "got" Laserbeak apparently made him _"sooooo adorable"_ and _"such a charming family man"_ and meant that Rumble and Frenzy were almost immediately grounded for the foreseeable future because they couldn't stop laughing. 

Before her first day of school Laserbeak lurked around the building at night and scoped it out. The first night was spent finding entry points, possible escape route, ambush sites, and good places to hide and possibly stash equipment. She spent an entire week trying to get into the school's ventilation system, only to find that there wasn't one and that there was instead a surprising amount of space in the ceiling. She can now, if she's careful, navigate the width of the school without being seen or heard. 

Everyone was incredibly glad that they got Laserbeak out of the Ark. This level of paranoia was concerning, albeit a tad amusing. Additionally, Rumble and Frenzy now knew all the best places to set up pranks in the school, and nobody would suspect them since they'd already graduated. 

Laserbeak's holoform was named Lawrence. The spelling weirded some people out, but when it showed up next to names like Ruth, Ferris, and Rhen most people just shrugged and moved on. Some idiot in one of Laserbeak's classes made a smart-aft comment about it on her first day of school, but Laserbeak "accidentally" punched his lights out during gym class and got suspended for a week. 

Laserbeak is now given a wide berth in the school's hallways, something that she's inordinately pleased about. 

Rebecca took it all in stride and asked Laserbeak to teacher her how to punch like that. 

Laserbeak also nearly managed to acquire a criminal record during her first week. Her real form's alt-mode is now a fancy laptop, one that she carries around in a backpack wherever she goes. Some idiot tried to steal it while she was out walking, and she broke both his arms. Thankfully a nice old lady saw the whole thing and told the police off, then offered to teach Laserbeak how to knit. 

Soundwave now had a blue and gold scarf to match his reading glasses. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Grammatical errors?
> 
> I love this AU, what do y'all think about me putting all the one-shots from this into their own story?


	49. The Search

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not really funny or happy (more potentially hopeful), but this idea's been bothering me since I saw the final episode of TFPrime.  
> And on that note, **SPOILERS!!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No dialogue!

Ravage sighs and looks around. Nobody in sight. 

She's been searching for Soundwave for far to long, and her spark is consistently telling her that Soundwave is _right here fraggit._

Rumble and Frenzy are snooping around, looking for clues as to where their creator could possibly be, and why the frag they can all feel him when he doesn't appear to actually be here. 

Laserbeak is missing too. The Autobots and their disgusting pet humans didn't off her. She _has_ to be where Soundwave is. 

Wherever they are. 

Ravage and her siblings _will_ fins their missing family members. 

No matter what it takes. 

-.-.-.-.-.- 

Soundwave looks fondly down at his eldest creation. 

Even in this greyed-out world he's been trapped in he can see the confusion and determination shining in her optics. 

Laserbeak sits forlornly in front of Ravage, staring up at her sister despite knowing that if either of them move within range they won't make contact. They won't even feel a whisper of each other beyond the pale echo of their spark bonds. 

Ravage looks directly up at Soundwave, and despite knowing that she can't see him, he removes his facemask and smiles at her. 

A lost look flickers across her optics, and she snarls and starts pacing. 

Soundwave sits down next to Laserbeak and the duo watches Ravage pace. 

Rumble and Frenzy will be back soon, and Buzzsaw will eventually arrive. 

Soundwave has faith in his creations, and Laserbeak in her siblings. 

They _will_ be reunited, eventually. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	50. Praxis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, I didn't spell the chapter title wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Praxis is a thing.
> 
> "Spoken aloud"

Prowl sits (more like slumps) against the wall of the brig. His doorwings have been blocked so that they don't transmit the data they pick up to him. It's a special kind of torture, courtesy of one bat-shit crazy Combaticon helicopter. 

Rumble stands, arms crossed over his chassis, in front of the energy bars on the Praxian's cell. He's smirking. 

"Hey, Prowl." 

The mech doesn't so much as twitch. 

"I learned something interesting today." 

Still nothing. 

"Did you know that the humans have a word?" 

A nearly inaudible snort. 

"This one is really interesting. It means, basically, to learn, then act, then reflect. And then you do it again, and again. It's teaching style thing." 

Again, nothing. 

"But that's not the best part." 

Maybe Prowl's recharging? 

"It's spelled in a kind of weird way." 

Nah, he can't be. He almost laughed not too long ago. 

"P-R-A-X-I-S." 

Now he's looking at Rumble, optics dull but still fairly alert. 

"Yeah, I know right? Is that a weird coincidence or what?" 

He twitches, optics narrowing in a semi-terrifying glare. (Soundwave can glare better. He's scary even with the visor and mask.) 

"Praxis. Praxus. Almost like tomato tomahto. But not. Because the spelling's different." 

Now he looks really mad. 

"Do you think they count as homonyms? If a homonym is what I think it is, I'm pretty sure they'd be homonyms." 

Now he looks _really_ mad. 

"RUMBLE!" 

Rumble flinches and whirls around, looking up, up, up at Thundercracker. He just arrived for his brig duty shift. 

"Yeah, 'Cracker?" 

Thundercracker looks incredibly unimpressed and mad at the same time. "Out." 

Rumble gapes. "What?" 

Red optics flare briefly, "I said 'out'." 

Rumble looks at Prowl, who has since returned to his slump against the wall, and sighs. "Fine. I'll leave." 

As he walks carefully past the seeker Rumble half expects to be kicked out the door. 

He exits the brig with no complications, only to find Frenzy waiting for him on the other side looking even more unimpressed than Thundercracker had. 

"Really? I don't pay attention to you for one cycle and you start telling _prisoners_ all the useless things you learn?" 

Rumble continues walking down the hallway, shoulders hunched defensively, "I was bored, okay?" 

Frenzy scoffs, "Yeah, I could tell. You were sure writhing in the agony of your boredom in the brig there." 

With a huff Rumble starts walking faster. "Oh leave off would you. Besides," he slows and turns to his twin, "you have to admit, it was an interesting bit of information." 

A sigh escapes Frenzy, "Yeah Rumble, I'm sure the fact that there happens to be a word in English that's spelled nearly the same way as the translated-to-English name of Prowl's destroyed home city is something absolutely _everyone_ will find incredibly fascinating." 

Rumble smirks, ignoring the overwhelming sarcasm in that statement, "Let's go to the rec room, I'm sure _someone_ will find it interesting." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Praxis is a thing, and I think of Praxus every single time I see it, or hear it, or read it. It's really annoying.
> 
> Thoughts?


	51. The Winter Autobot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's watching Marvel movies?
> 
> (Hint: It's the author +2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rumble and Frenzy would probably rule HYDRA.
> 
> "Spoken aloud"

"I cannot believe you idiots are watching that drivel." 

Rumble and Frenzy pause the movie and stare at Ravage. "Drivel?" 

She snorts. "Yes. Drivel. Nonsense. Twaddle. Stupidity." 

Frenzy scoffs, "Superhero movies are awesome, Rav. Don't knock 'em." 

Ravage snorts and hops onto the giant couch to curl up next to her siblings. "Captain America is just a drugged up former weakling. And he's still organic." 

Rumble groans, "Why are you being so superficial Rav?" 

Ravage stares, and Rumble elaborates. "Captain America is amazing. And I bet he ran into so many things after he changed." 

Frenzy nods, "Yeah, he went from being, like five and a half feet tall and super wimpy to six foot two and super buff. Imagine all the furniture-related casualties!" 

Ravage stares some more. "Umm…" 

Rumble grins, "Besides! Can you imagine if we turned one of the Autobots into our own Winter Soldier?" 

"Yeah, we could abduct them, reprogram them in a way that allows a memory through every once in a while for maximum emotional pain, and replace their left arm! Then we could have them help us fight the 'Bots! It'd be awesome!" Frenzy's nearly vibrating with excitement. 

Ravage sighs. "Who would the unlucky Autobot be?" 

Frenzy and Rumble exchange a glance, "Well, if we want it to be accurate, it'd have to be one of the snipers." 

Rumble snickers. "Get it? Accurate? Sniper? That was a good one!" 

A massive sigh escapes Ravage. "You're both idiots." 

The duo giggles madly. "Yeah, but we're crazy genius idiots." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	52. The Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Decepticons are finally (secretly) leaving Earth, but for a reason no-one could have anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -.-.-.T.i.m.e.b.r.e.a.k.-o.r.-.P.o.V.-.C.h.a.n.g.e.-.-.-  
> "spoken aloud"

“Frenzy, what’re you doing?” 

Frenzy looks up from where he is staring in stupefied shock at Soundwave’s personal computer. “Sorry, did you say something?” 

Rumble huffs, “What’re you doing that’s demanding so much of your pathetic attention?” 

A shudder runs through Frenzy, “You know how whenever we find out something new about humans we think ‘holy frag that’s weird, but they can’t get _too_ much weirder than this, right?’” 

Rumble frowns, not liking where this conversation is going. “Yeah…” 

Frenzy stares intently at the screen, “Well… I bet you’ll never guess what I just found.” 

As a last ditch attempt to never find out what has Frenzy so spooked, Rumble tries to redirect the conversation. “Don’t tell me you managed to download another weird virus on the Boss’ computer, Frenz.” 

Unfortunately, Frenzy doesn’t take the bait. He slides over on Soundwave’s massive chair so Rumble can jump up and see what he’s looking at, before turning to look at his twin. “I’ve found Fan Fiction.” 

-.-.-.S.e.v.e.r.a.l.-.M.i.n.u.t.e.s.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.- 

Megatron was tired. 

He had lead the Decepticons through millennia of war against the Autobots. He had lead the charge of countless battles (despite his officers’ advisements). He’d gone pede-to-pede with one of Primus’s chosen mechs and come out functional on multiple occasions. He’d been captured, interrogated, mocked, starred in ridiculous propaganda films, and quietly helped his third-in-command raise a family in the middle of a fragging civil war. 

This? This was, as the humans said, the last straw. 

He rested his helm in a massive servo, “Could you repeat that?” 

Frenzy twitched, and Megatron knew that if someone had been pranked or accidentally screwed something up (again) he’d be fidgeting and shuffling about. This was serious then. 

“The humans… they’re writing stories about us. Fake ones. There’s a whole website full of them, and I’m pretty sure there are stories on other sites too but… I thought I should tell you before I went looking.” 

Megatron sighed, “That’s about what I thought you said.” 

-.-.-.F.o.u.r.-.M.o.n.t.h.s.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.- 

Soundwave shoved down the impulse to twitch uncomfortably. Ever since Frenzy had discovered Fan Fiction Megatron had been determined to get the frag off of Earth as fast as possible. He’d had a conference with all of the Decepticon Officers in Shockwave’s tower on Cybertron and they’d spent _5 orns_ discussing the quickest way to get off of Earth without arousing Autobot suspicions. 

In the end, the Decepticons on Earth all rotated through a schedule. Most of the Decepticons would continue in their usual style of attacks (the ones that Starscream always loudly protested), drawing the Autobots out and engaging in head-on battles, while two teams each containing a few of the stealthier Decepticons and one of the shuttleformers would go somewhere far from the main battle and quietly gather as much energon and other supplies as they needed. They made an effort to attack smaller places, independent companies that fewer people would care about. Additionally, they had Swindle call in all of his favours among the humans. 

The Autobots may have suspected something, but looking at the recently finished transport ship (named _Hopeful Victory_ , which everyone agreed was less arrogant and therefore more likely to succeed than their previous ship and long-time base of operations, _Victory_ ), Soundwave found he couldn’t care less. Frenzy had dug deeper into the mysteries of Fanfiction in the four months since he’d stumbled upon it, and found that the subject matter written about covered anything and everything. Nothing was safe from human fantasies, not even other humans. The things they’d come up with… Soundwave supressed a shudder. 

Once the latest stealth teams returned the ship would be fully fueled, with enough in storage to house all the formerly Earth-bound Decepticons all the way back to Cybertron, with some extra to find another planet to gather energon on. Hopefully the Autobots would take a while to catch on, and then even longer to catch up. 

Despite the discovery of Fanfiction being the reason for their long awaited departure from Earth, Soundwave wished Frenzy had never discovered it. He’d read a few of the stories out of a perverse curiosity after hearing Frenzy talking about “slash fics” (which had sounded more like battle wounds than anything else at the time, but oh how wrong he’d been), and found himself unable to looks several mechs in the optics ever since (not that they could tell through his visor, but _Soundwave_ knew). 

The stealth teams filed in with minimal roughhousing or chatter, remarkably efficient after several months and the promise of being free from this wretched planet. 

As soon as the rest of the Decepticons returned from their battle the _Hopeful Victory_ would take off and soon this planet and its terrifying inhabitants would be nothing more than a memory. The medbay had long since been moved from the _Victory_ on the ocean floor to the _Hopeful Victory_ so that departure could occur as soon as possible. 

-.-.-.S.e.v.e.r.a.l.-.H.o.u.r.s.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.- 

Ravage purred loudly as she sat in Starscream’s lap and watched the Earth get steadily smaller on the rear-view monitor. Starscream looked down at her, “Something to share with the rest of us Kitty?” 

She purred louder, “I may have left a parting gift for the Autobots.” 

He looked down at her, trying and failing not to look intrigued, “What did you do?” 

-.-.-.O.n.b.o.a.r.d.-.t.h.e.-.A.r.k.-.-.- 

Sideswipe groaned, optics flitting from monitor to monitor. Nothing exciting was happening! He’d been sitting here since the battle had ended a few hours ago, staring dully at the screens. Sure, the Decepticons had been attacking an awful lot lately, but that didn’t mean they were up to something! What could they possibly be up to? 

The officers were all very suspicious, but right now Sideswipe was just bored. 

A blinking light caught his attention. He carefully straightened up (the few injuries he’d sustained enough to slow him down for now) and checked all the firewalls and anti-viral programs Jazz had come up with since landing on Earth and accidentally coming across some of the more vindictive human programs (and Decepticon programs that mimicked the human ones) before warily opening the message. 

It didn’t contain anything that suggested a major Decepticon plot, just a few internet links to several different websites. They sounded a little ridiculous, but Sideswipe clicked on them anyway. They passed all the security checks and he was bored. 

Besides, how bad could some fictional stories about fans be? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> I feel like what I write gets more ridiculous every day XD


	53. Custodial Rights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Angst warning** (but happy ending and nobody dies or anything).
> 
> Soundwave doubts himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could be considered to have happened before my Post War Trials story arc.  
> This is me writing when I'm bitter about something. 
> 
> -.-.-.t.i.m.e.-.c.h.a.n.g.e.-.-.-
> 
> "spoken aloud"
> 
>  
> 
> _flashback ___

-.-.-.T.h.e.-.M.e.e.t.i.n.g.-.-.- 

"Decepticon Soundwave, Third in Command of the Decepticon Armada, Chief Communications Officer, Commander of one of the most successful Special Operations teams in history…." 

Soundwave sighs as the mech droned on, listening to the words with barely a quarter of his processing power. Ever since the war ended everyone had been playing painfully nice with each other, nobody wanted to be the one to end this truce, especially when it was looking like it could possibly be permanent. That was why Neutrals had been designated as the go-betweens for the factions. There would be representatives from each faction at any and all meetings and discussions of course, but in an attempt to keep the antagonizing to a minimum most of the talking had been relegated to Neutrals (neither faction were particularly fond of the mechs that had turned their backs on the fighting and refused to help, but it seemed both factions disliked Neutrals equally so the arrangement still worked fairly well.) 

The officers of each faction were being reviewed, a long, boring process that was meant to prove they would be able to acclimatize to the new, peaceful age they were trying to build. 

"Decepticon Soundwave." 

Soundwave tilted his head in the mech's direction, the most he'd ever do to acknowledge a Neutral (even Autobots deserved more respect because at least they'd _fought_ for their beliefs, but not Neutrals). 

"We are taking time in this session to discuss the quality of life that your young creations have had, growing up as they did during The Great War, as well as whether or not they should be allowed to remain in your care." 

Soundwave went still, every bit of his processing power immediately going into overdrive. Half was trying to eviscerate the mech in front of him _(how dare he even_ think _about taking away Soundwave's creations)_ and the other half was trying to shut down his battle-ready systems so he _didn't_ eviscerate the mech. 

Megatron got to his pedes with a snarl, and even Starscream looked furious. Shockwave had started stroking his arm canon (the one he refused to replace with a normal arm because he found a spark-deep sense of pleasure in terrifying Neutrals), Scrapper looked like he was figuring out the most efficient way to recycle the Neutral for parts, Onslaught had gotten to his pedes and was subtly checking his battle systems, and Motormaster was laughing uproariously with a dangerous glint in his optics. On the other side of the room the Autobots were looking worried and uneasy. Blaster was giving the Neutral that'd spoken a death glare. 

One of the security mechs (as if a _Neutral_ could ever hope to do anything against even a single Factioned mech, much less a room full of the most Elite of them all) slammed a fist against the wall with a loud **clang.**

"SILENCE." 

Starscream sneered, "But we hadn't even started." 

Soundwave was suddenly very grateful for his fellow Officers. Even if they were murderous, insubordinate glitches that had occasionally tried to offline him during the war, they were willing to risk the peace _now_ to keep him and his creations together. 

Soundwave was also grateful for the fact that he'd locked down all his bonds with his creations, otherwise they'd likely be here wreaking havoc and dismembering Neutrals (something that would likely just be proving the Neutral's point). 

The Neutral that had spoken was looking at the Decepticons warily, but still he continued to speak. "Not only did Decepticon Soundwave raise multiple creations in a time of war, something that would have been acceptable had they been created prior to or just after the beginning of the war when it was suspected that the fighting would not escalate or would end soon, but he created several times after vorns of fighting had passed and many many more were known to come. Such blatant disregard for the purity of new life cannot go unpunished-" 

Soundwave suddenly stood up, and everyone froze. 

The Neutrals were oblivious to Soundwave's fury, having never had to face him when one of his creations were in danger, but were scared nonetheless. 

The Autobots were grimly determined and terrified, ready to stop the Decepticons should any of them make a move. 

The Decepticons were ready for Soundwave's signal, whatever it may be, that they should attack. His creations had been threatened, he had the most to lose, they would follow his lead on this. 

Soundwave surprised them all. 

Silently, steadily, he walked out and didn't look back. 

-.-.-.T.e.m.p.o.r.a.r.y.-.D.e.c.e.p.t.i.c.o.n.-.H.Q.-.-.- 

Deep under the hastily-erected Decepticon Headquarters was a maze of massive rooms. Each room housed a different kind of training simulator, and each room had been used dozens upon dozens of times since the truce began. 

Whenever things got to be too much, whenever the peace and idleness settled on a mech's spark in a way that just felt _wrong,_ they could come down and let it out. 

There were simulators that were simple, just shooting or melee against mech after mech until you couldn't move and the sense of _wrongness_ left because you were too exhausted to feel it anymore. 

There were simulators of problems and puzzles, for when your processor couldn't find a way to continue without looping back to the solution that would have been acceptable (encouraged and celebrated, even) pre-truce, but most certainly wasn't now, that would have mechs commanding anything from sieges to special operations. 

There were even simulations of interrogations, so frustrations could be worked out on mechs that weren't actually real, while the real mechs continued on oblivious and untouched. 

It was to these rooms that Soundwave came, and it was in these rooms that Soundwave stayed for two orns while he steadily worked through every simulation that required his finely honed combat skills and ended in a massacre. 

He stayed, and he fought and raged and refused to believe that the Neutral had a point. He refused to even consider that he had done wrong by his creations, that they would have been better off not being created in the first place (that Soundwave was selfish and cruel and had created them despite knowing what was coming and what they would face). 

Soundwave fought and destroyed and nobody disturbed him, though many of the lower ranking Decepticons stopped to watch for a click before hurriedly leaving (terrified because nobody but Megatron had ever survived seeing Soundwave like this before) and the Officers came by to make sure he was still functional and bring his creations heavily censored updates on how he was doing. 

(Soundwave fought against his very spark, the part of it that was saying the Neutral was right and his creations deserved so much better than Soundwave could ever hope to be.) 

-.-.-.3.-.O.r.n.s.-.A.f.t.e.r.-.T.h.e.-.M.e.e.t.i.n.g.-.-.- 

Ravage had never been so relieved to see her creator before. Missions had gone by during the war and Ravage hadn't worried half as much as she had for the last three orns. 

She hung back as her siblings all swarmed Soundwave, Frenzy and Rumble pestering him with questions of where on Cybertron he'd been, Laserbeak and Buzzsaw sitting worriedly on his shoulders, Ratbat flying in circles around all of them. She watched as their worries and concerns made Soundwave slump, the tiniest hint of guilt and self-loathing coming down his bond with her (she was the oldest, she knew him best, her bond with him would always be the strongest) and suddenly Ravage was furious. 

-.-.-.T.e.m.p.o.r.a.r.y.-.A.u.t.o.b.o.t.-.H.Q.-.-.- 

Blaster had expected this right after The Meeting, not three orns after. 

But then, his counterpart's creations had always delighted in being contrary and difficult. 

Ravage was sitting on his desk. 

His desk, in his office, in the most secured part of the temporary HQ that had been set up. 

Blaster knew he should report this, but after what had happened three orns ago he also knew that nothing on Cybertron would get him to report Ravage if this surprise meeting was about what he thought it was. 

"Ravage," he said evenly. 

She dipped her helm, "Blaster." 

He sat down in the chair normally reserved for visitors, the feeling of reporting to Ravage for misbehavior (while _in his own office)_ creeping up on him the longer she silently sat on his desk. "What do you want to know?" 

-.-.-.1.-.O.r.n.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.D.e.c.e.p.t.i.c.o.n.-.H.Q.-.-.- 

Soundwave would like to say he was surprised when his creations ambushed him, herding him to the side room that housed their overly-large large berth (large enough for all of them to fit comfortably). 

Soundwave would also like to say that he was surprised when his creations knew exactly what had transpired during The Meeting, but he wasn't (couldn't be, he'd trained them all himself) and that made him less resistant to their pushing and prodding than he normally would have pretended to be. 

They curled around and on top of him and broke down the blockers he'd left in place on their bonds, flooding him with their _worry_ and their _love,_ and Soundwave couldn't help but remember what the Neutral had said, about how he was an unfit creator, and his creations (his wonderful, amazing, too-good-for-him creations) all ripped that thought to shreds and overwhelmed him with thoughts and memories and feelings that showed Soundwave why that Neutral was wrong and why he did, in fact, deserve to be a creator, and that no, actually, he wasn't cruel and selfish and terrible. 

-.-.-.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k.-.-.- 

_The war was just starting, and Soundwave was still getting used to his position as Third in Command. Most of the mechs that joined the Decepticon Cause knew of him, of course, but few knew what he could do. Soundwave hadn't yet built the reputation that would follow him throughout the war and strike fear into the sparks of all who would oppose him._

_So when Soundwave felt a spike of fear from his only creation, he ran, shoving clueless mechs out of the way. Megatron followed behind him (they'd been in a meeting, something important but_ not as important as this) _knowing that whatever had caused Soundwave to run had to be important._

_A flash of pain echoed down the bond as Soundwave rounded a corner and saw what was happening to Ravage._

_Four mechs, large, shuttleformers, very beneficial to The Cause, were standing in a loose circle. One of them was holding Ravage in the air, his servo big enough that it encased her entire body and left only her helm visible._

_Soundwave_ growled _and his systems went into overdrive and when he had calmed down he was cradling Ravage and checking her for damage, energon splattered the damaged walls and bits and pieces of the four mechs were scattered everywhere. Megatron was standing off to the side, looking impressed despite the loss of four mechs that would have greatly benefited The Cause._

_Soundwave didn't care about that, any of it._

_Ravage was safe._

_He started her Special Ops Training the next orn._

-.-.-.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k.-.-.- 

_Frenzy and Rumble were infinitely more trouble than Ravage had been, but they weren't loved any less._

_By that time Soundwave had started the foundation of his reputation and most mechs left him alone, Ravage too had a few stories and whispered comments follow her that made her puff up with pride and kept her fairly safe._

_Rumble and Frenzy, however, were two small, loud minicons in a base full of large, quick-to-anger war mechs._

_The first time a group of mechs decided to kick them back and forth down a hallway would also be the last time._

_They started pranking the next orn, giving complete reports to Soundwave on their activities and receiving new challenging pranks and tasks to pull off without being noticed, and when Megatron complained to Soundwave the duo used their newly learned techniques to leave a note on the gunformer's berth._

Spark snuffed.* 

-.-.-.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k.-.-.- 

_Laserbeak had grown up in a family with a reputation, something she took for granted most orns. It was normal for her to have mechs tremble in fear when her creator or sister walked down the hall, and for mechs to curse Rumble and Frenzy's very sparks in hushed tones before looking around warily as if they would pop out of nowhere and spring some terrible prank (trap) on them for daring to say such a thing._

_That's why she was unprepared for her first meeting with the Autobots._

_She'd been mapping the vents and trying to find all of the traps set up by Ravage, Frenzy, and Rumble without triggering them when she saw a mech she didn't recognize._

_Normally this wouldn't be a concern, and for a sparkbeat Laserbeak thought the mech was a Decepticon, but the mech turned around just as Laserbeak saw the red symbol on his shoulder, and the last thing Laserbeak remembers is a pair of strange blue optics (she'd never seen blue optics in person before)._

_The next time Laserbeak is aware of anything she notices the steady thrumming of her creator's spark underneath her, and can feel the warmth of her siblings on either side of her._

_What she will not learn until later is that the med bay now has some desperately needed parts, found in a messy pile in front of the doors._

-.-.-.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k.-.-.- 

_With the war in full swing Buzzsaw gets very few moments to act like a sparkling, but he finds he quite enjoys his existence. He likes following Laserbeak around the vents, setting traps with Rumble and Frenzy, learning the shadows with Ravage, and hacking literally everything with Soundwave._

_When another mech with minicons is stationed on their base, Buzzsaw follows them around. He knows Soundwave hopes he's found someone his own age to play with, but in truth he's more suspicious of them than anything._

_He approaches one of the minicons, another flyer, and can feel something is_ off. _Nevertheless, he sticks it out, pretending to be the naïve sparkling he's proud he's not and drawing the mech in, getting him to underestimate him time and time again._

_He plans, drawing on all of his training and skills, and when the mechs turn out to be Autobot operatives Buzzsaw is the one that gets credit for discovering them._

-.-.-.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k.-.-.- 

_Ratbat was disappointed when he found out that he wouldn't be learning how to sneak around and spy on mechs and set traps like his siblings, but he knew his job was equally important. Finding energon sources was a vital task, and if he used the skills he picked up during his time on-base a little more often than he should then it could only ever benefit his reputation._

_Around the time a mech was first found with puncture wounds in his carotid energon line was also around the time Ratbat was kept cooped up on-base because Autobots had been sighted nearby and Soundwave was worried it was too dangerous for his youngest creation._

_The next quartex was spent hanging from the ceiling in dark hallways trying to get the drop on as many mechs as he could (he always made sure at least one security camera caught the footage so his family could laugh about it later)._

-.-.-.6.-.O.r.n.s.-.A.f.t.e.r.-.T.h.e-.M.e.e.t.i.n.g.-.-.- 

Soundwave was once again sitting and listening to a Neutral drone on through his many titles, but this time things were slightly different. 

On the surface this meeting was nearly identical to the last one, with only 6 small differences. 

The Autobots hadn't even protested the additions to the Decepticon side, though they all (except for Blaster) eyed them warily from time to time. 

Even though they weren't allowed to sit with him, Soundwave basked the presence of his creations, and when the Neutral once again questioned his right to keep his creations he didn't so much as twitch. 

He just smiled beneath his mask. 

Regardless of the decision made today, no force existed that could separate him from his family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Don't worry, this angst will not be a continuing trend.
> 
> Feel free to complain about grammatical errors.
> 
> *Was originally "Bang, you're dead." But since Cybertronians don't "die" they're "offlined" or their sparks are "snuffed" (which, yes, is an actual canonical term) I changed it, even though I don't think it sounds quite as awesome.


	54. Changes... or Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **First ficlette mentions gore in a medical/surgical sense, if it bothers you skip to the -.-.-.-**
> 
> Slices of life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **First ficlette mentions gore in a medical/surgical sense, if it bothers you skip to the -.-.-.-**
> 
> -.-.-.- = time break (skip forwards or backwards, whenever you think)

**Human Medical Stuff**  
"Primus" Frenzy whispered, staring in shocked horror at the screen in front of him. "They're so... oozy."  
Rumble strolled into the room, took one look at the screen, and immediately turned around and walked back out. "I don't even want to know," he shouted at Frenzy.  
Frenzy continued to stare in horrified awe at the screen. "Look at that! Ewwww..."  
Ravage stalked into the room. "I sensed a disturbing amount of disgust from Rumble. What did you do?"  
Frenzy grinned, not taking his optics off the screen he was staring at, "I was curious about how human medics work, so I looked up some surgery videos. Did you know that humans can replace vital organs if they meet certain requirements?"  
Ravage stared at the screen, watching blankly as the previously unmoving human heart slowly started to pump, though it looked more like rhythmic seizing, and as blood oozed from various places on the screen. "You're disgusting," she said disbelievingly. "Humans are also disgusting," Frenzy grinned, "how they're causing us so many problems, I have no idea."  
Frenzy scoffed, "Considering how pathetic and squishy they are," he gestured at the screen, "they do surprisingly well for themselves."  
Ravage scoffed, "If we'd come out of stasis one or two vorns ago you wouldn't be saying that."  
The screen froze and Frenzy selected another video, this one a total knee replacement (it looked like there were power tools of some sort on the sterile field, and there was no way that could be boring). "Good thing we came out of it when we did then, this is so gross."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-  
**Bayverse Soundwave gets mocked (unknowingly)**  
Soundwave frowned disapprovingly down at his creations. "Negative."  
Ravage's tail twitched, and the twins grinned. "Why no~ot?"  
Soundwave frowned harder (they couldn't see it, but the feeling carried across the bod well enough that that fact was irrelevant). "Alt-mode. Adequate. Change. Unnecessary."  
Frenzy snickered, "Yeah Boss, because boom-boxes are so commonplace among the squishies nowadays."  
Silence answered Frenzy, and the trio all grinned (though Ravage was subtle and terrifying as ever). After several moments of obviously fierce internal debating Soundwave sighed. "Recommendations. Welcome. Suggestion requirements. Stealthy. Reasonable."  
Frenzy gasped dramatically and sagged against Rumble, pressing a servo to his chest plate, "Boss! You wound us! As if any suggestions we could make would ever be unreasonable!"  
Ravage swatted Frenzy, "Shut up you impudent brat, the innocent act hasn't worked since well before we left Cybertron."  
Arms crossed and helm upturned, Frenzy decided to ignore the eldest cassette.  
A silent devil swooped into the room. Buzzsaw grinned at everyone from his perch on Soundwave's shoulder cannon. "What about a satellite?"  
The trio looked unimpressed, Frenzy immediately protesting, "That's stupid! He'd have to be transported into space by Astrotrain because it'd be more effficient than trying to fly himself into the lower atmosphere, and then he'd just sit there! Sure he'd have access to satellites and stuff, but we have that already! Astrotrain! Also, he wouldn't be able to drive anywhere because he'd be a damn satellite!"  
Ravage silently rolled her optics with an internal sigh, as if a boom box were capable of driving either.  
Nodding in agreement Rumble glared at the avian cassette, "Not to mention the fact that he'd be all alone up there and at the potential mercy of both Cosmo and Skyfire. Sure Skyfire isn't all that violent, but he's huge! And an Autobot! And what if some other 'Bots show up? We have the space bridge, so any Cybertronian coming to Earth via space is likely going to be an Autobot, and it'd take ages to provide backup from where we are!"  
Ravage looked down at the furious duo, "I've never heard you defend our other space-fairing comrades this fiercely."  
They scoffed, "Sure they're comrades, but they're not our Boss-Man! What do we care about them so long as their sparks aren't in the Well and they're still functioning on our side?"  
"Honestly, Soundwave as a satellite, as if!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-  
**Gold is useless**  
"I don't get why all these fleshies value gold so much."  
Ravage glared at Frenzy from her sprawl on their couch, "Why do you persist in sharing your insipid thoughts with those of use who are trying to relax."  
Frenzy squawked, "My thoughts are not insipid! And why would this thought be insipid! Maybe they like it because it's bendy and kinda squishy like they are! Maybe it's because it's shiny and squishies are stupid and have short attention spans and are attracted to shiny things! Ever think about that?" But any and all indignant protests and theoretical questions went ignored.  
With a huff Frenzy whirled about and stalked away, utterly bored and more than willing to try alleviating the boredom by getting into useless conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flames will be laughed at, in the wake of the severity all the BC (Canada) forest fires.
> 
> All grammatical mistakes are my own. Apologies in advance.
> 
> Terribly sorry for how long this has taken to update, uni tends to stress me out and depress me making it difficult to write anything cheerful.   
> I ended up writing most of this at work during the summer, as it was the only place that had air conditioning I could type in, and I have another little short in the works.

**Author's Note:**

> This doesn't really have a limited amount of chapters, I just did that because having a permanently unfinished story is oddly irritating, that damn question mark was driving me crazy #/? so expect this to be updated (irregularly) regardless of whether or not the site says it's complete.


End file.
